by Aniefiok Udoabasi
I have sat on this for weeks. I know the man (he is my client) but I don’t know the woman in person. The man is confused (I told him he shouldn’t be. I certainly wouldn’t be). He has permitted me to share this here without disclosing his identity.
He and his woman have been together for 7 months. He is an accountant with a multinational construction company.
When he started a relationship with this woman, she advanced a ‘no sex’ rule as the basis of being in the relationship. The man readily agreed. He said he loved her and was planning to marry her. So what’s the point hurrying for what he would have for life?
The relationship blossomed. It was the love of his life. For the first time, he said, he was completely comfortable with a woman enough to want to marry her.
Four months into the relationship, he took her to his parents and elder siblings. They all liked her. She took him to her parents. They both liked him. Their respective pastors also approved of their plan to get married. A date was fixed for the marriage.
Then they started the tests. The HIV test came negative for both of them. Their genotype was compatible. The guy said he was so happy and relieved cos he didn’t want anything to be a barrier. He said the lady’s character and lifestyle were so agreeable with his. Their strong Christian faith also matched. The guy did not want to miss this gem.
Then it occurred to him that they do not know their reproductive fertility status, especially as they have not been having sex. The guy discussed with his woman and they both agreed to do a fertility test.
The chose the clinic of a consultant gynaecologist who happens to be a relative of the guy’s mother. They went for the result on the very day the printer delivered their wedding invitation card.
The doctor was very happy, the guy said. This made him believe, even before he was told, that they were both fertile. He was right. The doctor happily announced to the guy, whom he sees as his nephew, that he is fertile and has no reproductive issues. He said same about the woman but added, very happily, that , in fact, she is already pregnant! (For doctors and medical people in the house, is it ethical for a doctor to announce a pregnancy test result when none was required by the patients? Does fertility test for the woman necessarily involve a pregnancy test?).
The doctor did not know he had just dropped a bombshell. He looked at how shocked they couple looked and wondered aloud what was wrong.
The couple left in silence. The guy says the lady was just as shocked and nonplussed as he was.
HERE ARE THE ISSUES:
*What this means is that while insisting on the no sex rule with her man, she was sexually active elsewhere and became pregnant with another man 5 months into the relationship with the man she wants to marry.
*The guys says to worsen issues the lady has suggested aborting the 2months pregnancy. The guy would have none of that. Says he has never procured one and would never support it. Says its pure murder and can block her from future pregnancy.
*The other option is for the lady to have the child and let the father, whoever he is, to have it while they continue with the marriage. But the man is certain that his mother won’t let him go ahead and marry her if she knows she is pregnant for another man.
*Or to live a lie and pretend that the baby is his.
*Or to call it off with the lady and cut off completely from her.
*Please note that the guy has paid EVERYTHING on the marriage list, including the bride price. If the guy ends things now, would it be divorce or just ending a relationship??
*Finally (and this one is for me), is it possible for a mature woman to be 2 months pregnant and not know???
If there is any post that requires matured and thoughtful comments/opinions (even if few), it is this one.
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