As I walked from the bus park to my house, I refrained fruitlessly from thinking to myself. One thing that has always disturbed my mind and has been giving me sleepless nights is the fact that; with all the knowledge I claim to possess; the experiences I have garnered; and the people that I have met in my life, I still cannot say emphatically or boast of being financially, mentally and physically satisfied.

In truth, I am not the best at turning money over or handling accounts, but whatever I do, I know how to do very well and will always do very well, because as they say “what’s worth doing is worth doing well.”

While most people would easily associate my character with some of the greats like the Freuds, Shakespeares, Wundts, Ronaldos, Rooneys and a host of other greats, some will liken me to controversial greats too; the George Bests, the Muhammad Alis, Malcolm Xs and a host of others. All these are testament to the fact that I seek to make impression a lot, albeit positive ones mostly. For me, it is always good whenever they liken you to these people; it means they definitely notice your existence, even though I cannot place the main reason behind them calling me any of these great names. I guess I still have to find some rare time to think it through.

One thing that is certain however, is that people do not, I repeat! do not know exactly what you are battling internally. Even psychologists like Freud and Wundt have tried with great efforts at providing explanations as to what humans actually go through internally and they came out with proven conclusions albeit, debatable. All these thoughts kept ringing in my head as I walked by the dusty road that leads to our building and I kept saying to myself “very soon” unconsciously. I realized how depressed I had been and most especially how lonely I had really been living, even though I live in a building with ten people.

All my life I had been putting on a face mask (persona) and people have been judging me by that. In Psychology, we call that face validity (you will always look capable or incapable of doing things). In my thoughts I came to a logical but skeptical conclusion that; what then is the essence of our existence in life? That is a question that would generate so many subjective answers. I will not blame anyone for judging me wrongly; neither will I take some compliments wholeheartedly because either has probably been a birth of misconception or face validity. This gives rise to the answer of who I really am.

“Jay-boy! you nor dey go field?”!, brought me back to life because by this time, I had gotten to the gate of our house and someone had shouted my name. I did not know who it was, all I saw was a hand waving in a passenger bus that sped past and I waved back, while still confused from that shock of being called suddenly. I guessed it was one of the guys we play football together at “Baruwa”; a nearby local pitch that serves the whole neighbourhood. Rumour has it that “Baruwa” had been home to many Nigerian footballers (retired and current). Maybe this had unconsciously played a part in fuelling my zeal to play football there.

The silver-coloured gate was neat, even though the dusty road should have stained it thoroughly; well-carved and with a precision that signals the uprightness of my uncle that I stay with. My uncle (Bayo) is one of the most disciplined men I have ever seen. A well-built man who makes you rethink of ever disrespecting him or defying his orders, whether direct or indirect, lest you incur the most painful physical correction of your life (knocks and definitely slaps).

With a degree in Sociology from the prestigious University of Lagos as far back as 1986, and many other certificates, awards and professional qualifications, he was able to work his way through to the top and maintain himself as a well-accomplished individual. I mean, I see this guy as one of the few role models in my life and that explains how I have been trying hard to imbibe in “personal policy making and keeping”- Those were his key words!

I got inside and I met just only Enoh, the housemaid at home. “Welcome sir” she said, relieving me of my Luis Vuitton cross bag “thank you dear” I said, and I went straight to my room. Thank God! there was power so I turned on the fan, while I watched Enoh leave the room. I undressed and went to the bathroom to have a quick shower after the day’s stress. It was a quick shower but I enjoyed every minute of it. I was coming out of the bathroom when I heard a gentle knock on the door. I quickly wrapped the towel around my waist.

Yes! I said, and Enoh came in sobbing profusely. “I have never seen her like this” I thought to myself. “What’s wrong?” I asked, “I nor know wetin I do oga ooooo …….hin say make I dey go today oooo” she said sobbing between her words. For a moment I didn’t know what to say. I felt pity for the poor girl, whom to be honest I clandestinely admire a lot. Enoh is presentable to say the least; she is neat, hardworking and extremely endowed. Her natural dark hair reminds one of the black Stallion in the Mexican stable, her set of teeth well lined, with each tooth as white as the frosty man, her eyes……………..well just like mine…………..so brown and sexy.

Frankly speaking, I suddenly realized the extent of her beauty. “What did he say you did that warranted you packing your bags?” I said, “errm……………..I nor know at all sir” she replied in a tone that sent shivers around my loins almost making me have a sensation. By this time, she was walking towards me at a snail-buggy pace, then it was then I discovered that she was cladded in a transparent short skirt and a blouse that is almost non-existent. I felt somehow uncomfortable, but I knew she needed someone at that time to console her and assure her of her stay in the house. She was still moving towards me and I knew I had to do something to prevent any sexual arousal, but there was no time for me to even prevent her as she had already gotten to me.

She was too close for me to think clearly. By this time, my sympathetic nervous system had been in session, even though I would really love to “get down”, I definitely did not want it to happen this way. What was she thinking? Oh! That by luring me to sleep with her, I would be able to plead on her behalf? “No way! I won’t take advantage of her” I said to myself. During this thought process, she’d already taken to my lips and was devouring it like a northerner who is trying to break his fast with a loaf of bread. I quickly but gently tried to shove her aside but she was just too close and I didn’t want to embarrass her.

“We cannot be doing this” I told her. She paused for some moment and sluggishly released my hands from her mammary gland-secreting organs and she was about leaving the room when I realized I needed to break this jinx of missing out on the forbidden fruit all the time when the chances present themselves. “No! She cannot go like this” I thought to myself, it would just be foreplay only! Nothing more! I rushed to meet her as she was about to twist the door knob.

The foreplay lasted for about five minutes and we were not even close to an end, then it happened “We really had to get down” well, I assume you know what happened next. It was a bitter-sweet sensation after the session. I had to take that bath again, this time a slow one. She left the room hurriedly, grabbing her clothes and using them to cover her frame. “Enoh!” I tried to call her back, but she was not going to answer this time, we were done for the day I thought. Afterwards, I slipped into something lighter, brought my laptop out and continued with the research I was doing on racism which I was planning to include in my upcoming book titled “Psychology of racism”.

From that moment on, I could not concentrate on the research itself. I just did something I had never done before, oh! I forgot to tell you? “That was my first time ever” and it was actually interesting. I felt a sensational relief that I had just broken that jinx.
Anyway, I decided I was going to speak to my uncle on her behalf and definitely would try as much as possible to convince him of Enoh’s stay in the house. Now! She really has to stay! Or what do you think?

—

This entry was submitted as part of the Nigerian Voices competition organized by YNaija.com