Chris Bamidele: 20 technology Dos and Dont’s in a relationship

by Chris Bamidele

Do you find yourself constantly checking your Blackberry—even when you’re on a date? Is your blackberry, iPad, tablet, iPhone etc. closer to you than your partner? Have you ever tried to send a raunchy text to your partner and somehow you realize that you mistakenly sent it to a random friend, your boss or worse your pastor? Have you tried to guess your partner’s password as to have access to their e-mail or twitter DM without their knowledge?

Well, maybe you haven’t experienced any of the issues above; it’s likely that you’ve encountered the intersection of technology and relationships. And maybe you’ve wondered how to set some rules for yourself and your partner having it in mind that mixing love with the latest technology could be a bit cumbersome especially if you have some unexplainable attachment to your gadgets, and sometimes your partner’s. So, let’s look at some dos and don’ts of technology gadgets in a relationship.

  1. DO plug in your partner’s iPhone, Blackberry or computer in when you see the juice is low. That is kindness, it pays to be kind.
  2. DO share the joke with your spouse if you laugh out loud at something on your Blackberry or phone. You don’t want to be selfish.
  3. DO text and email your partner with the same care you did when you first started dating. E- Mails don’t take more than 2 minutes to send. If you have been sending each other online messages, it is not the time to stop. Make time to send sweet-nothings to each other over Facebook, BB, sms, and email especially if you were doing it regularly when you just started dating.
  4. DO upload new music to your partner’s iPod and new books to their kindle (If they have). If they like games on their iPad or tab, download interesting games for them. New tunes, books and games will be a sweet surprise when they see it, and it will show that you think of them and their interests all the time.
  5. DO give technology as a gift, but not for a romantic occasion. Note! If you need to charge it up, plug it in or program it, it probably doesn’t make for a good romantic anniversary present. Try one of those things Davido said his girl doesn’t want in “Aiye” for anniversaries and romantic occasions.
  6. DO have a discussion with your partner about what technologies are OK for big discussions. Personally, I don’t talk about serious issues on phone, I prefer to do in person, and my girl knows. But you and your partner might be fine discussing emotional topics via BBM or DM, just discuss it and make sure you are both fine with it.
  7. DO put away your Blackberry or phone on important occasions. Like when you have a rare date is some rare exotic locations, or you are discussing something very important. And ask your partner to do the same. If you have to pick your call or check your gadgets, take permission from your partner and tell them the level of importance.
  8. DO set a time limit for Internet surfing and BBM/Whatsapp chatting while you’re hanging out together. It can’t just be all about your virtual friends, when your partner is sitting right in front you in flesh and blood.
  9. DO save cute texts, email, voice-notes, and voicemails. Such memories are priceless.
  10. DO check again and again to confirm you have the right number/contact before you hit “send” button while sending raunchy sms/chat/photo. Or else your pastor or a random person might know your raunchy secret, and your pastor might call you for counseling and deliverance.

young man stealing information from womanDON’T use emoticons and/or tech lingo that you know annoys your partner. LOL/ROTFL can be annoying if your partner is telling you how shitty their day has been and how low their boss made them feel at work.

Now that we have the DOS, let’s check the DON’TS.

  1. DON’T exchange email passwords with your partner especially when your relationship is still very fresh and it is not yet defined, no matter how good of an idea it seems.
  2. DON’T hack into your partner’s email or phone to read their messages, just because you assume they are cheating on you – people kill people for this. Even snooping can get out of control.
  3. DON’T send flirty text messages or emails on your company’s device. Before long your director of IT will have a catalogue on you.
  4. DON’T browse while talking to your partner on the phone. You may think you’re a multi-tasking queen/king, but it’s distracting for both of you and it makes it seem like you only half-care about what they are talking about. You can always tell them you are in the middle of something very urgent, and ask for a few minutes to round off and get back on phone.
  5. DON’T bring up important topics in a medium that your partner is uncomfortable with. Don’t send BBM/ Whatsapp chat that you’re mad at him if he/she prefers to hear your voice.
  6. DON’T use emoticons and/or tech lingo that you know annoys your partner. LOL/ROTFL can be annoying if your partner is telling you how shitty their day has been and how low their boss made them feel at work.
  7. DON’T sound snobbish via technology, your partner cannot see your face, your voice will communicate your state of mind. While chatting, don’t just type “Fine! I’ll do it” try “Alright dear, I will get it done”
  8. DON’T bring tech to bed unless it is absolutely necessary. Like when you are both watching something raunchy on it before embarking on the journey to cloud 9.
  9. DON’T walk away before picking a call while your partner is there. They will suspect you of cheating and they would be right. Even if your side chic/assistant boyfriend calls you on the phone, and you must pick up, try to ‘code’ things. Pick and pretend the network is bad, and take permission from your partner to move away. (A sharp babe will follow you sha)
  10. DON’T take send nudes. If you think you must send, don’t include your face and any other part of your body that is easily recognizable. (Like the tattoo on your arm, the birthmark on your chest/thigh). Or else, you might just trend on twitter Nigeria someday.

So friends, do you have any other tech tips for relationships? Share them in the comment box and let’s talk.


Chris Bamidele blogs at www.

Op-ed pieces and contributions are the opinions of the writers only and do not represent the opinions of Y!/YNaija.

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