Reality TV dating has become one of the hottest formats on television withan explosion in shows like The Bachelor . We, the audience, are thrilled bythe voyeuristic pleasure of all the things that can make or break the deal:height, weight, mannerisms, faith, cultural differences, education level,and of course, the age factor. Traditionally women go for older men, whichpresents a bit of a conundrum when a woman meets an attractive younger man.
Late last year, I met a young man on theplane and we sparked up an interestingconversation. He gave me all sorts ofinteresting bits of personal information,but the one I fixated upon was his age!Although he was a year older than me, hewas still a lot younger than the men I wasaccustomed to dating and I found myselfdismissing him as a romantic interestshortly after that.
However, more recently, I have had toconfront the uncomfortable possibility ofrelinquishing control of my relationshipto someone my younger brother’s age. Inaddition, my age snobbery is somewhatmisplaced considering that even I look about 3-5 years younger than my real age.I find myself slowly coming round to the notion that maturity and age in a manare not necessarily synonymous or perfect complements. And perhaps by limitingthe selection pool from which I am willing to consider a partner, I have missedout on some real gems. Nonetheless, I don’t think it would be an easy transitioneither for me or the guy, even if we treated everything with care and an openmind. I imagine that in a cradle rocking situation, a younger man may bepredisposed to asserting himself in the relationship, and may thus be lessamenable to compromise. Still I can’t help but be seduced by the idea.
Great things are good in small doses, and at this junction, I will like to cautionthe “grown” women not to go driving around secondary schools looking for acradle to “rob”. Teenage boys are in a different world during their teenage yearsbut that doesn’t give us older ladies the luxury of picking out of that pool; if youare a 32 year old woman, and you see a 15 year old boy? Please let ’em grow!
While researching on this topic, I found out that a few aunties of mineactually indulged in this concept back in the day, but it wasn’t made a publicannouncement. I have a few friends who are recently married, engaged,and some dating in the same concept personally, I must admit…it’s rocking!
Wisdom of the week: The foundation of a relationship is trust. Ifthis is missing, you will forever play detective.. Fix it or let it go!