by Chi Ibe

 

Mavin album

It’s because we love Don Jazzy too much that we were so disappointed by this apparently. Because, you know, it wasn’t reeeeally such a bad album, but we have come to expect nothing but excellence from the producer, even if talent is mediocre. This album made us depressed for weeks – that’s how bad it was.

BBA
And THIS was the one they called the Star Games edition? It was so boring we don’t even remember who the winner of this year’s Big Brother Africa is! The characters were so predictable when they were not annoying,the twists and turns simply twister and (we are on a roll here) stomach-turning. Conclusively, this was a forgettable season- and totally not worth the hype.

Goldie
We all thought Goldie was a strong, Nigerian woman whose heart was in the right place, and who could take care of business herself. Well, that facade fell apart faster than bitumen on a Nigerian road, once the reality show cameras were on. It was like watching a train-wreck.

European Union
We can’t believe how long it takes these people to work out a debt deal everyone expects them to. Throw into all of that, they can’t seem to make up their minds whether they want out or to stay together. If the EU can’t come together to make decisions that will drive the progress of its constituent member-countries, then what’s the point? Nigerians, better be concerned, this will affect your Schenghen visa.

Rihanna
You tweet so many nude-ish pictures of yourself, that when finally the paparazzi got the entire package, no one really cared anymore. Then you, an international superstar and hugely talented musician, find yourself fighting over a rough little boy who gets beaten up in clubs with a woman who has no real career and shouldn’t even be talking to you if you had a little more restraint? Yeah, that would count in our books as a disappointment.

Dana Air
This was everyone’s favorite airline – always on time, staff that were always professional and enough aircraft to save the industry – until that aircraft of its came crashing down from the skies. It was truly a sad, sad day.

Mitt Romney
We thought he was going to out-raise Obama, and then he did not. We thought would out-spend Obama, and then he did not. We thought he would out-organize Obama, well let’s have a laugh over that one. Then he delivers so many bloopers he nights well be in a Mr. Beans movie. Added to this, he gets an even worse campaign. The American Republican presidential candidate turned out to be a giant with feet of clay.

Arise Magazine Fashion Week
Day 1 cancelled? Check. Designers confused and left in disarray? Check. Models stranded and owed their payments? Check. Yeah, #AMFW2012 was the lion that didn’t roar.

 

OK! Nigeria
Immediately it began to speak of itself, the comparisons to thatcher a,bilious project called NEXT began. And oh what a cliche. Only difference is – co pared to this, NEXT was a class act. With a launch event that was a rousing disappointment with magazines that didn’t arrive, and editor search competition we are still waiting for, credibility shot down by no less a person than Wizkid, and editions no one really cares about, we can all agree that all is not OK with this white elephant.

[Read ‘Failure to launch! 10 ways the OK! Magazine launch failed HERE]

Jimoh Ibrahim
He takes Newswatch and destroys it, then thanks Virgin Nigeria and destroys it, and for good measure, tells us he is bigger than Richard Branson. Er well, news for you Mister Hotshot Owner of A Collection of Dead and Dying Companies, Branson makes things great. You, however, only find a way to disappoint everyone who once (incredulously) ever thought you were a smart investor.

We hope for a better 2013 on all counts.