by Chi Ibe

So you know by now that a lot of people take Twitter way too seriously. And why not? It’s made superstars, destroyed careers, and gives us moments of pure hilarity. Because only some moments are truly very funny, we take our pick of probably the top five.

Let’s cap this all up
We spent many days on the streets of Nigeria and even outside protesting the abrupt removal of subsidy on fuel. It all led to a global shake-up in the Nigerian oil and gas industry, and a probe by the House of Representatives to uncover what many called the “scam” in the sector, and how did it all end up? Oh, with a video of Mr. Integrity (hahaha) taking bribe money (at this point, we have to add ‘allegedly’) from Femi Otedola and excellently stuffing it all into his cap. Forgive us, even Baba Suwe couldn’t have been so spot on.

The Abiola Babes
So we woke up one morning- May 29 to be precise – and His Imperial Excellency, President Goodluck Jonathan had takes all the years of branding by the University of Lagos and thrown it into the dustbin. Of course, it is adorable that the president sought to nationalize the legacy of Moshood Abiola, who died for democracy, by re-naming it the Moshood Abiola University, Lagos, but the students of the school were having none on it! They went on a protest for days, and the matter is still in court. But who can forget those joke, hashtags and the screen-muched pictures?! Ah, good times.

Grow some balls, guys
The Nigerian basketball team at the Olympics showed up for a match against the American team- or did they, really? Beaten so mercilessly that they were profiled by the New York Times and were a subject for incredulous journalists across the world, the ill-prepared, hopelessly under-qualified amateurs who turned up to stand up for their country set a new world record for failure. And we were laughing just as hard over here.

Tonto Dikeh and our songs of sorrow
Tonto Dikeh said “hi” with her music, and Nigerians on Twitter suddenly wished she’d just kept it to herself. The reaction was swift, the hashtags were vicious, the trending topic immediate – everyone said the two singles sucked. Sure, she can pretend that she has oh such a thick skin, but tell us Tonto, what’s the exact reason you have been missing for the two events you were supposed to perform at?

The walk of life!
The things that happen in this life, eh? So people carry their monies to go and watch a watery concert with a de-exciting D’banj, a mediocre Davido, a drunk Idris Elba and a random assortment of musicians who didn’t deliver a good show, but you know what was worse than that and the fact that D’banj dissed his own fans who bought the cheaper tickets? The guests had to walk for more than an hour in the Eko Atlantic sands. Many just couldn’t believe it – and we still can’t believe just how terribly that entire concert went!

Excuse us while we go off and laugh again.