by Tunde Muyibi

Nigerians are a very interesting set of people.

In everything we do there is always a unique twist to it. At times idiosyncratic in our ways, but we never cease to excite.

‘Naija no dey dull‘ is clearly an understatement.

Here are 10 things most Nigerians do when they get abroad.

1. Change your BBM location

This is the absolute first thing you must do as a Nigerian once you go abroad. Otherwise how else are you to be taken seriously? You need to activate the time zone and location on your BBM so that it indicates where you are really in the abroad. If you’re a Twitter person, you may want to activate location for your tweets as well.

2. Take Pictures with many shopping bags

Once you reach foreign shores, it is very important that you do some serious shopping, early-on in your experience. Make sure it is from a store like Zara or H&M or Saks, so that you can have a fuller shopping bag when displaying and also so that those huge logos, can stand out on your Instagram page. It will even be better if you flash a few currencies as you pose for such pictures.

3. Find an accent to acquire

Once you have reached your destination, it will do you a lot of good if you acquire an accent. You may actually decide to start practicing with members of the Nigerian Customs at the airport. That way, the Aunty behind the counter giving you side-eye can really know whats’up. One thing though, regardless of where you are, an American accent is always advisable.

4. Complain that you miss Naija food.

Now, it is no gainsaying to affirm that Nigerian cuisine is to die for. Therefore, once you reach abroad you should start to complain to your friends and family that you miss Iya Sikira’s ewa agoyin or that fantastic kilishi you buy from Abubakar at Sabo. The next thing is to proudly post pictures of you at one buffet like that- eating foreign cuisine. Please don’t forget to post plenty of plate pictures on Instagram.

5. Broadcast about how blessed you are

Nigerians are very spiritual people and it is woven deep in our DNA to give glory to the Almighty. So, once you’re far away from NCAA airspace, be sure to be broadcasting about how the good Lord has favoured you. Make sure all your friends hear about it, otherwise how will they know that you’re no longer breathing the same air with them.

6. Become unnecessarily humble

Once you have scattered everyone’s head with the news of your overflowing bounty, you must proceed with some kind of humility. At this point whenever you speak with people back home you should behave like a very cool headed individual. You should say stuff like “God will do your own too”, “it is not easy my sister”, “we just dey manage”.

7. Find a slang or phrase to adopt

Alright, now pay very close attention to this one because if you want to live that life you need to sound like it. This is what will really inform people back home that you’re really not messing around with this abroad stuff. You can start randomly putting “on fleek” or “turnt” or “lit” in every sentence you construct.

8. Quickly join a bandwagon

In order to truly solidify your arrival abroad, you should quickly join a fad or cause so that you too can feel among. If you do this right you will earn a lot of admiration from the new friends you hope to make in this new country. Perhaps you can participate in some sort of festival or protest. That will elevate your cool-ness in the eyes of your friends back home.

9. Join a clique/club

This particular one is a bit tricky but the idea is not that you should join a bad gang like that. The point here is that you should find some kind of an odd activity in your new locality. Perhaps a sports club- that plays sports like lacrosse or camel polo. Maybe even a night club that has belly dancers so that you can let your folks back home know you’re feeling among, even if its all a bore to you.

10. Sell your Nigerian-ness

This is the final and perhaps the most important one. As Nigerians, we have a very vibrant culture and way of life. We also often dominate in the things we do. So, once you’re abroad find a way to incorporate a part of your Nigerian-ness in the locals. Maybe you can teach them how to shakiti bobo or enlist them into your white kaftan gang.