For the ladies: Top 10 ways to meet men

by Diana Bocco


You can tell a lot about somebody by the kind of books he reads, and a shared favorite can be the ideal way to spark a conversation. Best stores? The ones that close the latest, long after all the married men have gone home for dinner.

You’ve done the bar scene. Over and over again. Hopped dance clubs till you dropped. Been set up in more painful blind dates that you care to remember. And you’re still single, which would be fine if you wanted to be single, but you long for a meaningful relationship.

In the fast-paced life of the 21st century, how do you go about meeting somebody? You’d be surprised to know that opportunity is always knocking.

Speed Dating

Also known as “the seven-minute date,” speed dating has been around since the late 1990’s. The premises are very simple: Women sit at cute little tables nursing a drink while men walk around and introduce themselves. You have seven minutes to talk to the other person, gather basic information, see if sparks fly. A bell rings to signal time’s up, and the men move on to the next table. At the end of the event, you can select those people you’d like to see again, and the host will provide you with some type of contact information (usually an email) for you to get in touch with them. Are seven minutes enough to get to know somebody? Of course not. However, you know during the first minute of meeting somebody is there is enough chemistry to guarantee a second date. Speed dating saves you the pain of having to get through a whole meal with a blind date you can’t stand.


Where there’s a worthy cause, there are worthy men, goes the saying. Even in the dating world, this proves true. Now, let’s get something out of the way first –You shouldn’t volunteer if your heart is not in it. The people (or animals) on the receiving end deserve better. If you truly care for the cause, then go for it. Pick a position that would allow you to interact with other volunteers or even with the public. Many non-profit organizations also put together marathons and other public events that attract hundreds (sometimes thousands) of potential mates.

Take Up A Manly Sport

No, we’re not talking about football or anything else that may leave you with permanent injuries. Try golf. It’s a gentle, straightforward sport that allows for a lot of talking while you’re walking from hole to hole. Or join a local softball league. If you’re not the sporty type, then heading to a local sports bar to watch a game may be a worthy substitute.

Take a class

Be selective, of course. A flower arrangement class will probably not be thriving with single eligible men. Many community colleges offer evening classes and seminars that are regularly attended by a lot of people, among which there are bound to be single men. Call to find out if colleges in your area publish a bulletin or to get an idea of what they have to offer. A local Learning Annex is also a great choice, and their selection of classes is limited only by your imagination. Photography? Dancing? Business? There’s bound to be a class for any subject you like.

Another, less conventional option is your local Home Depot. Yes, you read it right. Home Depot offers do-it-yourself classes in anything from painting a room to installing your own blinds. Both men and women home owners attend these classes. Not handy enough? Just walk the aisles and look confused (not a hard thing to doanyway). You’re likely to attract attention sooner or later.

Order a Latte

Starbucks is the new bar scene, concluded a recent survey. Full of young, hip singles, small coffee houses offer a relaxed atmosphere that naturally leads to verbal exchanges. To improve your chances, choose the counter or one of the “communal” tables (the ones surrounded by armchairs are more likely to be shared by strangers).

Head to Your Local Bookstore

We’re not talking about dark, convoluted little stores here (although if you like dark, convoluted men, then, by all means, go there). Ever been to Barnes & Noble on a late weeknight? The aisles are full of thirty something’s casually sitting on the floor, reading to their hearts’ content.

You can tell a lot about somebody by the kind of books he reads, and a shared favorite can be the ideal way to spark a conversation. Best stores? The ones that close the latest, long after all the married men have gone home for dinner.

Walk Fido

The dog run at your local park offers a unique opportunity to bond with other pet owners and initiate a conversation. Own a cat or a fish instead? Head to your local pet store and chat up attractive men shopping on the same aisle.

If that sounds too forward for you, try the Internet. New online dating services that target pet owners are popping up everywhere. Some are basically the same as other dating services except that all members own a pet. Others, such as Leashes & Lovers organize all kinds of local events (from cocktail parties to treasure hunts) to which singles and their dogs are invited. It’s a fun, no-pressure way to break the ice. The best part? Most of these services support animal charities.

Attend a Convention

Are you a trekkie fan? A health fanatic? An aspiring writer? Conventions give you the opportunity to meet hundreds of others who share your passion. Smaller, local conventions are usually better for two reasons: less people mean a more intimate setting that naturally leads to conversations, and you are less likely to meet somebody who lives 3,000 miles away from you.

Online Dating

The secret to successful online dating is on the details. A dating service that only allows multiple-choice answers is too general and leaves too much to chance. More and more companies are now expanding –Some allow you to write a personal essay, some have the capacity of recording video or voice messages. Be specific. Don’t go with something like “I love dogs and sunsets.” Of course you do. And so does almost every other person in the planet. How about “I rescued an older dog from the pound and I love to go hiking with him on the weekends.” That says a lot more about you that the previous sentence.

There are many dating services that cater to specific groups –Jewish singles, single parents, singles with pets, single artists… you name it. Groups like those guarantee that at least you will have something in common with all the men you meet. Great Boyfriends is a novel site where men are introduced by their sisters, friends, and exes. Sure, these people are biased, but think about it this way –If an ex still likes him enough to recommend him, he can’t be all that bad.

Be Yourself

Nothing is more attractive than candor. Smile. Look approachable. Said hello and make eye contact.


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Op-ed pieces and contributions are the opinions of the writers only and do not represent the opinions of Y!/YNaija.

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