“Keep the change bruh”, “this jamboree by the vice president is funny” | See our top 10 quotes from the past week

Honestly, we cannot wait to get right to the meat of it but first, mark the 30th of May on your calendar. Maybe even fix a public holiday outing because… oH WAIT! Here are our top 10 quotes from the past week:

 “On the 30th of May 2017, as it is now the tradition since our leader Mazi Nnamdi Kanu held the inaugural event at our Cenotaph in Enugu on 30 May 2014, we shall honour the gallant and brave Biafran soldiers that withstood the might of the British-sponsored coalition against Biafra between 1967 and 1970… Therefore, we expect every man, woman and children to observe this great annual event by staying at home and not engaging in any business activity. There will be no movement in Biafraland, both human and vehicular. Biafraland will be shut down completely…”

IPOB Spokesperson, Emma Powerful‘s statement reads as the group declares May 30th 2017, a day to honour the heroes past of Biafraland.

“I am still working on bringing the Grammy to Nigeria. Abraham Lincoln tried several times before he became the president of the US while Buhari tried about four times before he became president. As long as I am still doing music, I can still get the Grammy”.

9ice (a.k.a Abolore Adigun) in a recent interview. What else can we say? 9ice is very resilient man.

“This is what we want people in Nigeria to begin to understand. Yes, we regret the hardship, but honestly, for us to be able to move forward in terms of our security, we must grow a level higher in this country.  We cannot attain any level without hardship. It may tamper with our ways of doing things, but in the long run, we shall all be better for it. So for now, you know we have suspended the policy.  We are asking for feedback, we will look at the policy and refine it and then we see how best we can apply it without causing hardship to Nigerians.  So we have not put a date to it yet. We are still consulting. When we do, we will let Nigerians know.”

-Hameed Ali, the Customs Comptroller-General tried to ease the blow on Nigerians as he explained the reason why the suspended Vehicle import duty verification policy proposed by the Nigeria Customs Service will still be brought back.

“This jamboree by the vice president is funny. Are they our overlords or are we being colonised that they are coming to visit here and there? Don’t they know what is right? The oil belongs to us; it does not belong to Nigeria. Ijaw oil belongs to us. If Itsekiri say their oil belongs to Nigeria, that is their business and if Urhobo say same of their oil, that is also their business and same applies to others. But we, Ijaw, are saying that Ijaw oil belongs to Ijaw, they should leave our oil alone.”

 –Asari Dokubo‘s take on Professor Osinbajo’s Niger-Delta oil-producing communities tour.

“I was told the lady did several videos, as I speak to you, I have not watched one, because I don’t need it, I have not read one because I don’t need it. Be careful in life not to allow people use you to achieve their aim, and the truth is when the use you, the will destroy you… Sir, I came just for you to forgive my daughter I came to apologise because of my daughter, so that you can forgive her.”

-Stephanie Otobo’s mother apologised to Apostle Suleman on behalf of her daughter last weekend.

“This championship is a showcase of the clear effect and degradation of the Boko Haram terrorist group with the destruction of Camp Zairo in the heart of the famous Sambisa forest. I can say categorically that never again will Boko Haram occupy any of our land.”

President Buhari‘s words as he declared open, the small arms championship by the Nigerian Army in Sambisa in another victory-over-Boko Haram-speech f.om the Presidency.

  “I will resign if Abuja airport is not completed in 6 weeks”

-Minisiter Hadi Sirika promised as he dispelled rumours about the extension of the timeline for the Abuja Airport runway renovations.

“This is a memo from an APC governor to an APC president, but who is shouting more than everyone? It is the Peoples Democratic Party (PDP) people that are trying to describe who I am to an APC president.”

-Reads the opening lines of Governor El-Rufai‘s infamously controversial memo to the President. You have to read the whole thing for yourself to understand the brouhaha.

And Finally! The much awaited #KeepTheChange tweet!

[Play catch up: Meet the “Duchess of Savageville” and learn how she finished these “twitter boys” #PabloKosibar]

These ones must be delivered as they were served so enjoy the tweets below:

And then she responded:

“Keep the change bruh”!

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