by Kenechi Uzochukwu
I wish to apologise to those hurt by my recent articles on rape published on Ynaija website. Even though the articles were against rape I admit that it was insensitive and has hurt many.
I am stating categorically that rape is a despicable crime that I am against and will always be against. And I hope that men and women will work together to put an end to it.
Even though there is freedom of expression and that all people have opinions, expression of certain opinions should be curtailed in the interest of peace and when such opinions have the propensity to hurt others.
My views against rape has hurt respected friends and readers, and again, I apologise.
I hereby humbly request that the two articles be taken off the Ynaija websites and I respectfully request that no other medium should use the piece.
– Editor’s note: Kenechi Uzochukwu’s pieces have been put down.
I forgot to mention, there is a reason why the oldest profession on earth still exists. I have heard men say that prostitutes provide essential services. So if a man is so turned on or has such an insatiable appetite, there is a place he can go to get release. Pay for services. So then, a rapist is nothing but a violent thief, taking by force and for free, something that is freely available in the market for sale. Think abourrit.
There is much more to rape than a woman’s appearance or a man’s sex urge. Rape is an act of violence and is about power and domimation. There are married men who have sex with their wives on a regular basis and still rape their house girls repeatedly; some even rape their own daughters.
Rape is an act of arrant lawlessness. It thrives in our environment because of the culture of impunity and lack of empathy or regard for women. Rape is a crime against a woman’s body, soul and spirit. A stain which is never washed away.
Let us all say NO to rape.
I have read the said article, the follow up and the apology.
Young man, I assure you it is simply not enough posting that mock apology. The Bible which you quoted also says, “out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.” Your initial words were from the abundance of your heart and you have mentioned here that you were exercising your freedom of speech, which suggests you still believe you were right in all that you said.
A supposedly learned man- a graduate, a journalist , a writer… I am shocked at your words. My reaction to your article is the way one feels when you cast a net and draw in fish(es) and you find a snake in the midst of the fish. Or you open a beautiful dish and find shit inside instead of the delicious meal you expected.
Let’s assume you’re right that scantily dressed women provoke rape; What about sexy women on billboards, music videos; steamy scenes on TV, porn magazines and CDs, porn on the internet, which most men these days have access to; don’t you think these are even more important sources of provocation?
Another question for you- earlier in our African culture, women were very scantily dressed, even with their breasts unvovered; but the men did not rape them, why? I’ll answer that- because the men were disciplined and exercised restraint.
I suggest that the increase in rape is a reflection of lawlessness, indiscipline and lack of restraint in our present society. Don’t blame the victim.
You even justify the rape of children. So what will you call “bad” ? How far will a man go before you say enough is enough? Is incest wrong? What of bestiality i.e. having sex with animals? A man can as well sleep with his own daughter or even his dog since his sex urge is so totally out of his control.. “men must rape something”
Perhaps you’re unaware that several groups in different parts of the world are presently pushing to put into law the death sentence for rapists; some suggest castration. That is how serious some people view this matter. And I don’t begrudge them because I personally believe rape is equivalent to murder. A woman who is raped has been scarred for life. Meanwhile we handle it with such levity.
Young man, your words are so incomprehensible to me that I can only conclude that they are coming from one who is not only a rapist but a serial rapist, a paedophile, a sex addict, a pervert in every sense of the word… a myopic and unenlightened bigot. I shudder at the depth of darkness in your soul and those who support you.
Finally, the Bible which you quoted also says, if a part of your body causes you to sin, cut it off! I suggest you take that advice and leave the poor little children alone. Do you hope to have a daughter? I am worried for her.
If the fella realised his error and apologise, I think he should be uncuffed, and everyone go on their merry ways. Rubbing the shit in his face some more after the apology is rather forlorn. Nobody holy pass.
Well, there’s a lot that has been said.
It’s a big thing to accept one’s fault and apologise. Berry, yes, I agree with your view here and the one on Myne’s post. I think it is nice to also look at things from all points of view.
The problem with Kenechi’s post basically is he went overboard and used a style that didn’t really convey the message as should have come out. Yet I ask – as I asked before – is there anything that could have been learnt from what he wrote?
To end a problem, it’s best to look at it from all points of view.
Hopefully, people would learn to air their views better. Other than that, well done on this apology. And to all those who really felt embittered – I dare add – and appropriately so, I raise an apology too.
Let’s all work hard to ensure that RAPE is stopped. It is one of the sorriest things and a capital crime against humanity. May Aondo help us all. Amen.
I have now read the initial article, the clarification, the apology and the rejoinder(s) so I feel like I am competent to voice an opinion. I have never posted a response on a blog or article but I feel compelled to say something. I am disturbed by so many aspects of this and I will try to outline my thoughts clearly. My biggest problem is not Mr Kenechi. As much as his views fill me with dread and revulsion, he is definitely not alone. If he were an outlier, it would be easy to castigate him and probably ensure that he gets the help that he so obviously needs. My fear is that his thoughts and words actually reflect the mainstream views (particularly of men) in our society. Myne Whitman put it best when she alluded that the cause is due to our patriarchical culture and women being seen as objects owned by men. Without dealing with that, it is hard to make any sense of this issue. I noted with dismay that all the (negative) responses to Mr Uzochukwu's article have been by women. Where are all the men out there that believe that rape is a vile, disgusting, immoral act perpetuated by animals. Men who have sisters, mothers, daughters, friends and know in their core that no matter the "provocation", they could NEVER resort to rape. I proudly affirm myself as one of these men. This is a time to stand up and be counted. Blaming the victim is never the answer. As has been noted severally, rape is not always a crime of sex. It is a display of power, control and domination. Some have said that what he has expressed is a point of view of the rapist. I beg to disagree. What he has actually done is to try to exert another form of control over women that he disagrees with (namely those that do not dress "decently" in his opinion). By putting the blame of rape (theirs and others including children) at these women's doorstep, what he is saying is that they need to change for the good of the society. This is wrong as well. To assume that a man has no choice or defense in the matter is just ridiculous. There are many societies where the women expose more of their bodies than we do in Nigeria and rape is almost non-existent. There are also societies that women cover almost all of their body and yet rape abounds. It goes to the core of how we as individual men and as a population of males as well as how our culture views women. Cultures that promote respect and empathy for women will have less rape. We need to tackle this problem at a population level by changing how women are regarded in Nigeria (and Africa).
@Tope Aina, you have restored my faith in the Men folk of this our patrichical society. You have addressed the issue head on without sentiment. The likes of Dave and Berry should borrow a leaf from you! If more men would rise up and stand by women to fight this hienous crime then together we may just wipe this atrocity off the face of our beloved country! Let this be a lesson to all men with warped minds: you rape us with your lechrous looks, lacivious smiles, dirty sexual acts and now you want to Rape our minds with the words you write! We will not lay still! We will fight you to the death! whether we are married or Single rape is rape! No means no! Take heed!
There was something objective about his article. People need to understand the point of view of men who rape. It is not just about “power and dominance”. Understanding that point of view requires a close attention to the different opinions…
What’s objective about his point of view please? That a man can’t control his sexual urges because of a scantily clad woman? When people make comments to disparage, degrade and rile people up and then. hide under the Guise of objectivity I shake my head in sadness at how depraved Our society has become. Anyone can give an “objective” view to justify the stealing, killing or kidnaping spree that’s now the bane Of our society. Does that make the act right? The issue here is u don’t trivalize serious matters that effects the lives of people and think a mere apology will set things straight. We are all accountable for our actions and should “man up” to face the repercussions. People who quickly dismiss the matter and refuse to confront the gravity of the situation are equally culpable! So beware and choose your words wisely especially when u want to make an “objective” point!
Apology accepted Kelechi. I really hope you change your pattern of thought. All the best.
@DonDave YOU need to see a shrink. You’ve been up in arms against those who’ve told Kelechi the truth. Should we expect your own article soon?
…and Kenechi-posong-as-Dave, you tell me that piece of yours is objective, then I say you need to undergo psychiatric evaluation! Sincerely, I don’t understand HOW u can put such crap together and expect people not to be emotionally worked up! You have rape, sex, and children in the same sentence (with that brazen conceit) and you think six lines of an apology is going to just wipe it all away. You better get help before the girl-child comes along. sick!
Your apology comes because you looked around you and you realized you are on your own (O.Y.O)! No one is going to back you up and shoot the woman down – not this time. Your beer-parlour rant didn't create the usual raucous laughter and groin glorification you had anticipated. The world has left you behind, young man. You are still caught in the past where you think women are too shy to address issues that blatantly disparage them. With that said, I still suggest you talk to a shrink. God help us all.
Joy, you still failed to realise in your comment that objectivity matters a lot in this journalistic world. When you are not – biased or allow your emotion to becloud your judgment- you are off the rail. This guy wrote an article from his objective point of view, even when it was clearly stated in the piece that he was against rape, you guys still went ahead raining abuses and curses on him. I doubt if we Nigerians read very well these days. Once we read a line of a piece or the comments from others who have not taken their time to get what the piece is saying, then abuses and all sorts of things begin. Despite all, he has also apologise for those who failed to get the message he was passing across in the piece. What else do you want? I guess you too need to see a shrink!
Hello Dave, good that you join this conversation with your head held high. What can u see outside your window? Any 15 year old girl prancing around with a tiny blouse? Do you have an erection? Will you go straight into a sexual frenzy and rape the nearest female, perhaps your neighbour’s daughter? Ah well, may be I do need to see a shrink (or maybe I’m just a paranoid-mother-of-two-girls who thinks ANYONE who makes a case for rape in any way at all is stupid!) But if you read that piece and u think this comment u posted makes any sense to me, then I suggest you should book an appointment with the shrink too. Say hello to the 15-year-old-girl-outside-your-window!
Pls in the name of all that’s good, what message was he trying to pass across? That a man cannot control his poponini from throwing salute at everything that is scantily clad? Or that the indecent dressing of a woman is excuse for any man to rape? Or that its a despicable act to rape? If the latter is the case, then he went about it the wrong way! There’s is NO excuse for rape! That you cannot control your “johnny” from standing at attention is not the woman’s fault but the man’s. If you can’t control it (which in my opinion is an expression of weakness) as the Bible pointed out and he reiterated, FLEE!…
@Dave, I assume you are a journalist and can distingush the differnces between an objective writing & writing imbued with the writer’s opinion. The former is objective based on hard facts; what the writer thinks doesn’t even count- just like the news. It’s informative. However where a writer states that he thinks something is wrong (even though what he writes portrays a contrary view) it’s no longer objective but subjective and suceptible to criticism. Do not Begrudge the women for being Passionate about the cause since we arefor most part the victims. Just Think of your mother,sister or wife in this situation & it will give u a little perspective Of how sensitive d issue is! Yes, he has apologise but when u pen down words that have the potential to douse the gravity of a heinous offence u should bear the onslaught of opinions/cricisms that come with it! Journalist are held to a higher standard and should be a beacon for the voiceless in any society not defenders of atrocious acts. By rising up to defend the man u have done him great disservice. By his own admission he acknowledged his gaffe and as for You insulting the aggrieved women by insinuating that they can’t read & lack comprehension about his opinion just rubbed in salt Into a very raw wound!