by Devan McGuinness
I am no expert in relationships and I don’t really plan to ever become one. I am married and would say ‘happily’ for going on 8 years now (yeah, that makes me feel old!) and we have been together for 13 years, since high school. Marriage has it’s ups and downs and peeks and valleys and is a relationship that takes work as two people change and grow and grow-up.
My husband is a pretty awesome guy. He brought me all my cravings when I was pregnant, held my hand and protected my heart through our hard times and knows how to make me laugh like no one else can. We have this great partnership that’s necessary for us to raise our children and they are lucky to have him as well.
He is a dude though and sometimes the wires get crossed between what I’m trying to say and what he hears. I won’t confess if he’s ever said any of these phrases, but I can assure you if he has/does — he will get a good talking to.
Photo credit: photostock
“Yes, you do look fat in that.”
You know, sometimes we may look a little chunky in what we are wearing, but never answer the question so bluntly.
“You’re going to wear that?”
The tone guys! You can’t say this without out implying that either we look like total sh*t or like a total sl*t. Rephrase!
Photo credit: photostock
“Wow, look at her! She’s hot!”
Wow … look at you, sleeping on the couch for EVER now.
“You’re starting to remind me of your mother”
This isn’t usually said in a nice tone. If you hate your mother-in-law, don’t compare your wife to her.
“What did you do all day?”
Tread lightly husband. There are a lot of behind the scene things you may not notice. Keeping all the house and kids together is hard!
Photo credit: photostock
“Where are my clean socks?”
Probably in the corner of the bathroom… where YOU left them.
“It must be that time of the month”
Don’t rationalize away the reasons we’re mad at you. Sometimes it’s because you’re being an as$ and not because we’re menstruating.
“There is no chocolate in the house”
Please see previous point. {Always have chocolate}
Photo credit: photostock
“You sound like my mother.”
Um…. thanks? This won’t go well either way.
“What do you want to do”
If you wife is anything like me, asking me this question just annoys me because I am the most indecisive person ever.
Photo credit: photostock
“The guy at the store said this was the top of the line vacuum”
Do NOT buy her a vacuum for her birthday, anniversary or Christmas.
“This is almost as good as when my mom makes it”
I bet it’s better then you would ever make it. Don’t compare your wife to your mom!
Photo credit: photostock
“My ex did it for me.” / “When my ex and I…”
NEVER. TALK. ABOUT. THE EX. Unless you’re telling me how I am way better.
“Just relax!”
This will always, & yes ALWAYS have the opposite effect.
———————————-
Read this piece at Babble
Op-ed pieces and contributions are the opinions of the writers only and do not represent the opinions of Y!/YNaija.
