Losing the plot – and more, in today’s news round-up with Cheta Nwanze

by Cheta Nwanze


To be realistic, I can’t think of too many other ways to end this madness given that we hear all sorts of stories from the military side of things, and no longer know what to believe. 

I have a confession to make, I’m a bit of a chauvinist. Nothing too serious, just the normal ingrained male belief about my place in the scheme of things. Being that bit of a chauvinist means that there are precious few females that I will confess to looking up to. One of these, is a babe called Zainab Usman. One of the things I admire about her is her calm. Then yesterday, I watched her finally lose it, and the only thing that came to my mind was, “Oh, she’s human after all.” But the reason that Miss Usman lost it is not far from unfathomable, she had been told the day before in no uncertain terms that she was wasting her time. You see, she’s one of the people behind a series of sit-ins in and around that fountain that works sparingly in Maitama, and the day before, they’d been attacked by a few layabouts who to be honest would have killed a few of them if the price was right.

But such is the land we live in, and no less a personality than the Prez himself reinforced some of the fears about the difference in treatment that peaceful people get as opposed to violent ones yesterday when he talked down on all of us. Yes, #BokoHaram members have been offered forgiveness if they promise to go and sin no more. To be realistic, I can’t think of too many other ways to end this madness given that we hear all sorts of stories from the military side of things, and no longer know what to believe. However, finding the girls, and bringing them back home ought to be a top burner issue, and not endless reports on the pages of newspapers, which can only accomplish the logistical nightmare of having the girls moved further away.

Meanwhile, maybe the Prez and his hangers on should stop for a moment and take a listen to our Gavel. Don Mark has said something that bears repeating: “crime will rise when punishment is not adequate”. At this juncture, I’d gladly get down on my knees and ask Don Mark and his cohort to fast-track that Bill about pension thieves. Last time I checked, it has lost its way somewhere in the maze that is our hallowed chambers.

Bits and Bobs
Speaking of pensions, the Akwa Ibom don has secured his retirement home. “Widows of ex- governors would receive a minimum of N1 million monthly for medical expenses and N500,000 medical expenses for the widows of ex- deputy governors,” Akpabio said as Chxta made the firm decision to get Mrs. Chxta to run for governor.

Meanwhile Professors and Permanent Secretaries will have to wait a little longer to get their own pension reform passed, it is not terribly important. Sorry Dad.

Rotimi Amaechi’s iron bird has been released to him. Expect it to convey him to his PDP reunion, coming soon to a cinema near you.

Finally, Nollywood cameras have been unable to get their grubby hands on a kobo of the promised N6 billions. This only confirms that there’s no hope we’ll be watching Half Of A Yellow Sun in the near future.

Right of Reply
Oluwaseun Sodimu wrote,

Bros, for the eyebrow the Brits are raising at the papa eagles , they should probably look at Nigerians betting habits. Within a year, most people I know have become serial bet morons on 1960bet, betnaija, and more. This may be the cause and not any conspiracy theories the bloody briticos are thinking

Ier Ichaver wrote,

See why these people can’t get anything right? Punishment of crimes left to God? What bleeding Bible are they reading? How will society function without law and order? What about justice?! So what are Amos, Isaiah etc. all about? Aaaaaaaargh! Aaaaaaaaargh!! Aaaaaaaaargh!!! This should give us some insight into the way our ‘leaders’ think. And why we are making no progress on corruption including stealing…ahem…




Op-ed pieces and contributions are the opinions of the writers only and do not represent the opinions of Y!/YNaija.


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