Childhood should be a time of creating great lifetime memories not memories that make even grown men cry.

 

I recall singing “Sandalili” a million and one times in primary school. So imagine my consternation when last week someone told me the word “Sandalili” was supposed to be “Standard (of) Living”. Outrage!

 

I replied in anger: “Who told you that?” and she said, “Mfon, don’t take it personal.”

 

“Personal?” I retorted, “Of course it’s personal! That’s 6 years of my life you are trying to play “Myth Busters” with. Next you’ll say “Ten -Ten” was supposed to be ‘Then-Then’ ”.

 

To which she replied, voice lowered, “Please don’t say that about Ten –Ten, it is legendary. In fact, it is sacrilegious to say anything against it.”

 

I laughed at her feigned dismay.

 

Well, if ‘Sandalili’ was actually ‘standard living’, then it was welcomed to my collection of ‘murdered’ songs. I remembered singing; “All those (who) are born in January stand up, stand up, ariya riya rosi, God bless you.” Only later did I discover that “ariya riya rosi” was supposed to be “ring a ring a’ roses”.

 

Hymns were not spared either. I recall singing my favorite hymn in church at the top of my lungs. It went, “On Christ the solid rock I stand, all other “groundlings singing song …all other groundlings singing songssssss”. It took me a while to realise that the words of the hymn actually were “…all other ground is sinking sand”.  My version made perfect sense to me then. I mean, we were the “groundlings” being located on earth and we were ‘singing songs’ as per the hymn. Imagine my self-admiration when I found the word “groundlings” in the dictionary. I still sing the “groundlings” version sometimes, as a salute to the incredible “mini me”.

 

As I sat, reminiscing and smiling, I marveled at how strong childhood memories are. Then I wondered, if good memories were this strong how much stronger were bad ones. I mean, for children whose realities were different from mine, who only remember pain, the way I remember joy, laughter, and mischief.

 

Just as I still hear the punch line of the Choco milo advert (Chocomilooo, chewy chocolaty chunks of fun!), do they still hear the slaps they had to bear?

 

Just as I remember envying the children sitting at Aunty’s feet in ‘Tales by Moonlight’, I guess they also remember envying children like us who came back smiling from Apapa Amusement Park with our parents.

 

Just as I recall the pride of winning one box of Coaster biscuits for answering one question on Kidivision 101 TV programme, I presume they also recall the shame of being told they were no good.

 

Just as I remember eating “Oyacaca” and drinking “Tandi Guarana” in school, I reckon they remember going to school hungry and being labeled class beggar as hunger trumped over feeble efforts to maintain dignity.

 

And just as I remember reciting “Good day, panel of Judges, accurate time keeper, my co debaters …”, I am convinced they remember being told to shut up when they wanted to express that confident ignorance that comes naturally to every child.

 

Childhood should be a time of creating great lifetime memories not memories that make even grown men cry.

 

So the next time you think that child that caught your eye, doesn’t concern you because he or she is not yours, think again. You could be the memory maker for that child, any child; you don’t even have to be married with kids. When you take your children out for a treat, take their friends too, in fact, go beyond your comfort zone and ask them to invite children no one wants to invite or better still, invite them yourself. Buy them a toy, a skipping rope, something … anything. It may be the only gift they get. Teach them a song you learnt, show them how you did the “running man” or the “butterfly” way back. You might be the only glimpse of the past they get.

 

Don’t expect a medal for it, for some might take it for granted but there might be that one child that grows up to say, “I will never forget how important I felt when that uncle/aunty danced with me.”

 

Children don’t really forget. Make your life count; make someone remember you … for good.

 

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About the author: Mfon Ekpo is a maritime lawyer and a bestselling author who has co-authored books with industry greats such as Brian Tracy, Robert Allen, and Ron Legrand. She blogs at https://theschoolcalledlife.wordpress.com/ when she is not thinking of weird business ideas like “Sweet ‘Agbalumo’ juice” and has broken up with Twitter quoting ‘irreconcilable differences’.

 

 

Editor’s note: Op-ed pieces and contributions are the opinions of the writers only and do not represent the opinions of Y!/YNaija.