Of Mars & Venus: The listening

by HD

He was absolutely crazy about his wife. Actually they were both crazy about each other. This was her fifth birthday since they first met and he really wanted to celebrate with something a little different from the nice romantic dinners of the past four years (not that those weren’t nice, but variety is the spice of life, yes?).

So he called up friends and relatives and invited them over for 7pm on Saturday evening. Caterers: check, decorators: check, music: check. Everything was perfect. A spa gift certificate later, she was out of the house and all is set.

She returns from the spa at 7:20 and walks into the house.

“Surprise! Happy Birthday to you…”

She is truly and surprisingly – unpleasantly surprised.

She bursts into tears. “I have told you over and over again, I hate surprises!” She marches out of the house. He runs out after her. “Sweetheart…” An awkward silence falls over the party.

One week later and they are still not talking. She is fuming at his audacity. Throwing her a surprise party even when she has told him again and again that she cannot stand surprises; making her embarrass herself like that in front of all their friends and relatives. She is certainly not going to apologize for expressing her mind which he should have known already!

He cannot believe she embarrassed him and walked out on him in front of their guests, and after all the pains he took to organize the party for her the least she could have done was to greet people, abi? He was certainly not going to apologize for trying to do something nice for her!

We probably have been in both of their shoes at some point or the other. You know, that thing which your significant other just keeps doing – they cannot seem to get into their head that you absolutely detest it. Or when you know for sure that if not for any other reason, at least for the effort you put in you deserve a little appreciation, right?

True, we all deserve gratitude and appreciation. But you know how they say to get respect you have to give respect; to have friends you have to be a friend and all that? In relationships, it’s the same. To be appreciated you have to appreciate and a lot of the time it boils down to one word – LISTEN.

Yes, ‘listen’ not ‘hear’. Two very different words. If you really take your time to listen to your partner, even when its  just random gist, you will be surprised by the things you will learn about them. They drop clues to their personalities and those help us understand him/her, because basically, what comes out of the mouth is somewhere inside, right?

Listen to your partner and you will find your relationship reaching new heights and depths. Answers you have long been searching for will appear like magic. You will really find your friend because before you know it, your partner will appreciate your listening so much, that they will also listen to you, and you will find yourself opening up more.

Listening can make a whole world of difference, so take some time to use your eyes. And your ears and heart as well. Listen and get to know the one you are with!

1 Comment

  • RY says:

    I really feel this. Having a hard time  with my relationship right now and feel we both have major communication issues. Thanks for this. More please.

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