Polygamy is good, but not the solution to cheating

Religious people will never agree that the Polygamy is not the Devil’s creation. The argument hinges on “A man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife.” Not wives. Others argue that no man can love two women equally like he should, so marrying two is anti-Heavenly race.

Polygamy is most often found in sub-Saharan Africa, where 11% of the population lives in arrangements or situationships that include more than one partner. It is no longer a common phenomenon in Nigeria, but is today’s conversation on social media, inspired by cheating partners.

To clear the air, ‘cheating’ is not a Nigerian thing. It happens across the world, and has become a culture, because many argue that no one can gain satisfaction from one partner, and would prefer to keep only one partner at home.

‘Cheating’ is gender neutral too. An attempt to argue that men cheat more than women or vice versa, is a dive into the pit of lying onions. We will cry and laugh over it, but will want to know that there is a reason the conversation topic is cheating partner and not cheating male or female.

A cheating partner seeks satisfaction. It could be a womaniser/maniser whose sexual urges are always on the run. They have to keep up. Call them sex maniacs please, or something more descriptive. Or the cheating partner is trying to run away from a sad, failing relationship. Whichever way, it’s a partnership, so unless there’s a gate free pass, cheating is not usually part of the arrangement.

For the former, one partner’s “normal” may be a desire for sex once a day, while the other’s “normal” is having zero sex drive. High libido is always a problem, even if both partners are suffering from it, and think like sides attract. O ma sun yin at some point. That’s when one goes out to find satisfaction.

The latter is what is mostly the problem. But, many relationship enthusiasts don’t think deep love can fall into dislike at some point. In this case, partners don’t talk about the relationship, and begin to find solace outside the relationship – or seek it.

Again, whichever way, cheating is breaching the unspoken terms of the partnership. And, on Twitter, there is an argument that having multiple legal partners is a solution.

Polygamy is an old practice and is essentially recognised under customary law and/or religious practices. History says that there were more women, so men took the ones they liked and called them wives. There were no numbers then, so it may have been a misconception. Some historical documents also claim men loved control, and having more women around to control was cool stuff.

Whatever history says should not give license to arguing for the fact that polygamy changes a cheating partner. Whoever considers leaving their relationship to go cheat, will keep the habit with 20 partners. Until a cheater has taken full ownership of their behaviour, it cannot stop.

On the other hand, polygamy is not a sin, and if the partner can stay faithful to more than one partner at a time, why not?

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