Life is full of so many ups and the most painful downs. In Terry Apala’s case, the downs threw him into the dark part of life. Terry Alexandar Ejeh, a Nigerian afrobeat and Apala (traditional Yoruba music) hip-pop musician shares his story on #WithChude and I figured that there are so many decisions we make in life that, in a split second, they can either make us or mar us. Yes, Terry made some decisions based on the information he had. He also made some based on his background and determination never to return to the trenches. But then he said something striking: ‘Sometimes we do the wrong things to make the right things happen.’

Here are seven things I learned while Terry Apala shared his story on #WithChude.

1. Life is wicked, so trust nobody: Terry’s friends deserted him at the most crucial time. He got depressed and was unable to produce music for two years. Isn’t life wicked?
2. Mothers are not always right, or are they?: Thinking about the incredible advice Terry said his mother gave him, I don’t think it is the right way to live life to its fullest. Sometimes in life, you can choose to start from the back. Consistency and hard work will distinguish you and move you forward to be the first in due time.
3. Taking the bold step to start all over again: Oh yes! I agree with this. Terry Apala saying he is not scared of starting again got me emotional. We really don’t have to give up when life throws a blow. Get up and try again.
4. The decisions we make can make or break us: This is such a huge part of life. Making decisions and standing at the risk of either seeing it as bringing good fortune or ending up in chains.
5. Forgiveness is not easy, but it is possible: I’m glad Terry has resolved in his heart to forgive his father and those who also left him at the most important part of his life. Terry has definitely made a good choice by living and freeing himself from the pain and hurt they caused him.
6. Men can be vulnerable, and it’s not a sin: Especially on this side of the world, we find it difficult to appreciate men who show their vulnerable sides in public. The common saying is, ‘You are a man; man up; don’t cry; be strong’ Hey men! It’s okay to cry and be weak.
7. Taking responsibility for mistakes and decisions: Terry Apala’s courage is one to be studied. He said there was no one to blame for this downtime, but then he was ready to face the future.

Terry’s story is such an interesting yet emotional one, and I can say his comeback might take time, but his determination cannot be undermined.

Watch the full video here.

Damilola