“The past week has ‘killed’ me”: Ese Walter responds to critics, speaks on ‘evidence’ against Pastor Fatoyinbo (READ)

Ese Walter pastor

by Isi Esene

Ese Walter, the lady who accused Pastor Biodun Fatoyinbo, the leading pastor of the Common Wealth of Zion Assembly (COZA) of allegedly having an illicit affair with her has reacted to criticisms and encouragement she has so far received.

Walter who revealed she was engaged in a one-week tryst with the pastor in a London hotel says she has surrendered the ‘evidence’ of their relationship to a clergyman for safe-keeping insisting she is not out to malign anyone.

A copy of the ‘evidence’ is with a respected minister of the gospel should the christian body decide to deal with this issue now and that becomes needful. I am not looking to have a ‘me against them’ case where I need to prove I’m right and someone is wrong,” she wrote on her blog.

Read excerpts from her blogpost below:

The past week has ‘killed’ me. It has stripped me of whatever ‘self-importance’ I nursed in the corners of my mind. It has broken me and opened me up to my real self. It has brought me to a deeper level of self-awareness, one I am most grateful for.

When I sat with my MacBook to type my last blog, I never imagined it would generate the kind of attention it did and continues to. I have one last thing to say on this issue
before I lay it to rest and move on. (I also hope others can move on too, we have too much going on in this Country to continue to peddle one for longer than necessary.)

A very big thank you to everyone that has felt it necessary to talk about this issue and spread it throughout Nigeria and the foreign scene. I read every email sent to me with awe that people would take the time out to reach a total stranger like me. Some were cursing, calling me a witch from the pit of hell sent to destroy the church as though one individual/church is bigger than the body of Christ. As though God is mere man and would cringe in heaven saying, “Ese don did it this time.” Or as if the good Book didn’t state clearly that ALL things work out for good for those
that love God.

Do you love God? If yes, trust that it will ALL turn around for good.

Some people say, ‘I support you, you are brave and courageous’ and I wonder if those terms really define me. I do not think I am brave or courageous. I do know, however that after decades of sleepwalking through life, I am now becoming aware not just of myself but also of my environment, my world, and the universe.

Some say, put out the evidence and we will believe you. Hmmm, the morning I sat to write that post, I really didn’t expect anyone to believe me. Well, apart from those involved. And my motive was simple, let one more woman be spared. Let one more minister of the gospel be mindful and let the church rise up to its responsibilities as God’s legal representatives here in the earth realm.

A copy of the ‘evidence’ is with a respected minister of the gospel should the christian body decide to deal with this issue now and that becomes needful. I am not looking to have a ‘me against them’ case where I need to prove I’m right and someone is wrong. I am far from right, but I have used the only means available to me to free myself of the bondage I put myself in.

Lastly, to all the media people seeking interviews and whatever else mailing me, I have nothing more to say on this issue. I cannot reply every email as reading them is beginning to seem like a new job. 

I remember asking a friend once while reading the book of Acts, “Why do we no longer operate in the power the disciples did in Jesus day?” What has changed? How do we ‘unchange’ it?

God is not mocked, if we serve Him, let’s serve Him. We cannot continue to grow as a Nation by oppressing, delaying justice, hating, having the ME ME ME mentality. As Martin Luther King Jr said, ‘no one is free until we are all free.’

Things have got to change and it begins with us. It begins with each and every one of us borrowing courage to stand for what we believe in. Fela Durotoye once said, ‘that thing that annoys you most in society is a sign that you carry its solution.’ (I’m

Nothing has called out to me more than people, especially women, suffering in some way and hiding the pain. Whatever we cover doesn’t go away. It grows and it finds different outlets to rear its ugly head until we deal with it.

I am not perfect, I will never be, but I am enough to try what I feel might work. I don’t know what the entire bible says but I am learning and applying the little I find out daily. And I think everyone owes it to himself or herself to figure it out for themselves.

At the end of the day, we agree that ‘men of God’ are firstly men, right? This means it’s needless expecting them to help you in your growth with God. I fell into that trap of thinking a ‘man of God’ is equated to God and it is not new to find people fall in that hole.

How do you begin to learn to serve a God you have never seen? It takes another level of faith to do that but we live in a generation/Country where people don’t want to study for themselves. They don’t want to read the Scriptures. Well, they don’t want to read, period. They want to pursue things instead and have somebody do the praying and studying for them. If you fall in that category, you need to repent. 

I learnt that when the veil was torn, we all were given equal access to the Father. No matter how long you may have been in church, if you don’t know what that means you better ask somebody. And seek a real relationship with the God you claim to serve.

That is what I am spending most of my time doing these days. Praying, studying, seeking, knocking. The peace I have felt despite all the hate mails and tantrums shows that God is not angry with me and I did what I needed to do to the best of my understanding.

My apologies to everyone this has affected in one way or another.

Firstly, my family: I don’t know how you guys aren’t sick of me yet ;)

Secondly, ‘the body of Christ,’ my intention was never to cause trouble but to stop a rot I felt might spread and become worse if nobody spoke up about it.

Lastly, to those who said I shouldn’t blog again, I respect and understand your concerns but the truth is, writing is not just my gift, it is also my ‘curse’. I cannot ‘NOT’ write but I PROMISE, this is the last I will say on this issue except the christian body needs to see me.

God is building His church, and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it. No sin is too big to wreck anyone’s faith. If it does, then it means it’s working out a greater good for you. You will definitely come out stronger and better in the end. Like my best friend says “in the end, it will be all right and if it ain’t alright, it’s not the end.”

“…forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.” Paul.

Cheers to the weekend people.

Comments (46)

  1. D pastor cud b wrong 4 all I care but dear Ese if there is an evidence den I wonder if this wasn’t a plan by u to bring him down. If u were abused on day why didn’t u run on day two na babe. Chai. Well u shld hv prayed 4 urself n moved on n not seek dis cheap publicity.

  2. next time you are sick don't take the drugs prescribed by your doctor simply because he has similar ailment. men of God are men right yet men charged with the responsibility to bring you closer to God for the purpose the made some apostles teachers etc for the edifying of the church till we come to maturity eph 4:11.
    whether or not your story is true you have proved nothing or said nothing new. pastors albeit all christian have these treasure in earthen vessels. you have only brought to fore a discussion most ripe that Christians can be overtaken by sin and it affects nothing or their position in Christ but in the assembly. if your story is true at worst the pastor should leave his exalted position has as a G.O go back to beginner's class stay there climb the ropes till he is considered sufficiently purged to take back his position in the church. he never lost his position in Christ.
    so keep your fears that such act will spread in the church. it is already common in the church a symptom of our collective weakness which manifest in us all indifferent ways maybe not all of us have fornication issues, we all surely have issues we are dealing with. going to church fellowship are ways to contain these sicknesses till Christ comes to take away our flesh forever and not until then will we stop hearing pastor's sleeping with members or such other vices.
    if you dream of a church without any fault here on earth you are dreaming and if you you find one you are already dead because none is on earth.
    let me believe you had good intention howbeit misplaced, to write such nonsense. it may not be your fault but the teachings you received from your pastors or the legality you brought along with you u when u were coming to Christ. you have not lost your position in Christ either, just childish unskilled in spiritual things.

    1. Wow! Take chill pill bro. Am not Ese, am not COZA’s pastor, neither am I against any1 of them. I dint say u should stop going 2 church or stop fellowshiping… I said ‘WE ALL SHOULD HAVE A PERSONAL RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD’. Does ur pastor’s salvation automatically save u? And for Christ sake, we r all christians there’s no point attacking anyone here…put ur piece and let it minister to whoever reads it. God Bless u

    2. Did you say they have not lost anything for this act. This is another gospel. There is no eternal security for the ‘sining believer’. What were we saved from? And to you Ese, I woder if you have genuinely repented of this sin.

  3. @chinelo, u r talking garbage! that lady has not attacked anybody. what she's trying to say is that she is moving on. but all u could see is a lady seducing the pastor. you better reply to all the allegations against him like the franca issue and also the fact that he was once suspended over a matter like this when he was in ilorin. I'm not judging anybody but let the man come out and talk to clear certain things. your statement is highly contradictory. if your verbal attack on the girl is not to exonerate the pastor, then tell me, what is it? By the way, r u in a convent? *SMH*

  4. Hey Ese though I will never excuse or condone the Pastor but your motive is sinister,vindictive and malicious. If you indeed felt bad and wanted confession wouldn’t the best thing to do is to go to GOD on your knees to ask him of forgiveness. Now you are about breaking a home and ruining a ministry. I wish you well in your confession.

    1. she acted like a JEZEBEL

      1. And The Pastor Acted Like ==> Chichi …Hmmm Nice Im Begining To Smell A Rat..Chichi Who Really Are You..Please Be Sincere Enough To Tell Us Inasmuch As We Already Guess Correctly That You Are One Of The Multitudes (Fartoseez And Sadtoseez)…You Better Repent And Get Your Ways Right With God Before You Join Them…

  5. Dear Ese Walter, I wish to let you know that you have wasted so much of your God given precious time writing this very irrelevant and unnecessary story, I rather or God rather prefer you to go out there and preach the gospel of God, bringing lost souls to His Kingdom. You called yourself a christian, did the Pastor in question kindnapped you and then abused you sexually, yes or no…apparently you took yourself to the hotel room in London, why then did you choose to bring it to the public as if you were a minor that was abused. Before you remove the log in someone else's eyes I think you have to first deal with yours. I am not defending the actions of the pastor but who are you , who are you to touch Gods anionted, were you doing this for cheap popularity, I bet you should actually be ashame of yourself and ask your self where is Monica Lowinsky that had issues with Bill Clinton the former US president. I advise you get involve in charity work if you have an identity problem guess u might get a more honourable popularity.The bible says that he that winneth souls is wise, ask yourself have u won souls or discouraged souls. Thank You.

    1. Chinelo I think u are retarded.so since the pastor did not rape her or sexually abuse her you don’t even see anything wrong in what he did? Sleeping with a church member??a married pastor????and you say she did this exposé for fame?is this how your retarded brain analyses issues? Couldn’t she have blackmailed the pastor with all the evidence and make millions out of this?what does she stand to gain by exposing herself this way?so how dare u say she was looking for fame? Or do u mean infamy? Could English be the problem here or u are truly an imbecile?bull crap!

  6. I believe the only victim in this case is the wife of the pastor cos not only did her husband cheat on her but the whole world knows about it.

  7. Pls Jst go and rest my frnd, u Wntd attention and u ve it, enough of dis ur stories and invisible evidence, RUBBISH……

  8. I believe you sweetheart, i believe you………….. please, don't you ever be seduced by a man of "god" again.

    1. Thank God u said man before God, what took her there the first place, greed, lust and foolish fame

  9. Ese you seem to be basking in the euphoria of “commendations” you are receiving from mere mortals. Why don’t you just allow God to handle this issue. You did say you’ve made peace with HIM so pls allow Him to discipline your pastor, ie.if your story is true. The fact is you are becoming a jester or a clown in the social media. Don’t you have a family? Don’t you think you should promote your family name in better ways than being the “exposer” of a pastor’s indecent conduct. If you had good home training at all you should know its wrong to visit a pastor in a hotel room where his wife isn’t one of the occupants. I don’t care the purpose of your visit.

    To set things straight, any woman who develops a close relationship with a married man that his wife is alien to is merely playing for time and opportunity to jump into bed with that man. You should know this Ese. Am tired of seeing young women like you draw close to men of God without a corresponding closeness to their wives. THIS NONSENSE MUST STOP.

    While you’re being deceived with “accolades” think of tomorrow. Will your future husband enjoy this notoriety? What about your children? What will they tell their friends?

    I think you should focus on your profession and find a way to redeem your image and that of your family. By the way you have subtly tried to shield your actual family name from this shame by ending your name with Walter. However, your dear friends have said you are Ese Walter Rugbere, daughter of a cop. Keep your evidence to yourself and God. Hope tomorrow you spare us the crap from the relationship you’ve started with the man of God in custody of your so called evidence. There you go again. Why don’t you leave people’s husbands alone? Are there no female pastors in town? Its up to you

    1. lemi aducate ur ignorance mr whoever you are what future are u talking about..TO TALK BLINDLY WITHOUT CAREFULLY UNDERSTANDING THE EVENTS THAT LED TO THIS SAD STORY, seee there are a billion men in this world ME inclusive that would marry ESE and walk proudly on the streets and be happy for life cummon this lady is a genious she has guts wit brains shes talented shes a peculiar lady…besides i knw her and her family… cumon ESE is a real woman..ESE ID MARRY YOU EVEN IF NO ONE AGRREEs TO MARRY YOU AND WALK PROUDLY ON THE STREETS AND LEMI SEE WHO HAS THE GUTS TO say any senseless thing, id make sure i put them in placess where senseless people GO.

      1. What silly events led to which sad story? What’s there to be understood other than the fact that your friend went with her “koro koro” eyes and slept with another woman’s husband. Should she be clapped for or what? Take cognizance of the fact that your beloved ese wasn’t under a spell or charm. Has she told you other married men she has slept with in Abuja? Is it because Biodun Fatoyinbo was her pastor? Let’s learn to be objective and dispassionate in the way we appraise issues. You can marry her if you so wish since you’ve got no pedigree. That’s your business

        1. hahahahahaha..sorry-LOW-LEVEL-POOR-THINKING-YOU…when you wakeup from your foolish bablings…blah blah…BLAAAH do lemi knw…say more…show ur empty self…I SEE WHY U SOO ASHAMED TO LET US KNOW UR NAME <> well wont blame you <>…lol

          1. hahahahahaha.. well wont blame you ==>GABAGE-IN-GABEGE-OUT<===…lol

      2. Idiot why not go and pay her dowry now…..osochi egbu. Deceivers.

        1. hahahahahaha sorry…poor you…when you wakeup from your foolish bablings…blah blah… do lemi knw…say more…show ur empty self…

          1. Pls look for Ese’s father and start your marriage rites, clown. What do you need identity for here? What’s the proof of yours? Address the kernel of this issue not people’s opinion. You sound like one silly, stupid boy with no bearing in life. Reasonable people are addressing Ese here not people’s views. Happy married life with Ese, ie if her family agrees to release her to a low pedigree and morally bankrupt clown like you

        2. hahahahahaha.. well wont blame you TOO ==>JUNK-IN-JUNK-OUTJUNK-IN-MA-TRUNK…LOL

        3. If ese has truly repented God will provide for her a wonderful husband despite this issue.at least she has come clean before her God. She is far better off than most girls who continue to sleep with scores of men both in and out of marriAge including pastors and shamelessly occupy front row in church or are even church workers., and as usual most are very judgemental, like this chichi.

    2. Ese! You would ve simply ask God 4 forgiveness and not men, as far as I kno, there wasn’t aany nid 4 all u did, if u can tell d whole world u slept wit a pastor, u can aswell post d evidence on ur blog, Wht’s there? U ve started it, y not end it d right way… I actually suspect all u did was for fame and it’s very bad….y dnt u also tell us abt d politicians u ve slept wit in Abj, I even suspect ur sleeping wit d pastor was 2 for fame also, u planned it all Dd while, so Plssss shut ur dirty trap and go bk 2 d hole u came frm, NUISANCE!

    3. You are a big fool. I don’t see u blaming a so cald man of God who is cheating on his wife. Dis girl was blinded by d charisma of a filthy rich man and she has not denied it… This pastor has gone on wit dis male prostitution in d name of God for too long and now Ese has decided to expose him u pple want to die. Shame on all of u who is calling him a pastor I have a question for all of u. “Where u dere wen God cald him? A blind man leading multitudes of people. Infact come and sit on my laps and lemme show u anoda level of grace den I wil go abd prepare a robust answer. Truth is not a pot of egusi soup dat needs to be prepared. Ese thumbs up to u. U are brave sooooo brave

  10. it is well with you, just keep discovering God for yourself, irrespective of where the tide goes.

  11. Tunji and co. Hid your face in shame. The church is rotten because of people like you. HIPOCRITES!

  12. Ese, it is well with you. May the good Lord be your protection. DO NOT BE AFRAID. One thing I know is that God always gives plenty of room for repentance. If we however keep doing what we should not do, we do ourselves a dis-service. For we cannot continue in sin believing that (another level of) Grace will always abound.
    God be with you, Ese. It is well with you,It is well with P.B. It is well with me also, AMEN!

  13. Rise n fall of coza

  14. You are a wonderful lady I really admire ur faithful sipirit 2ways church,ur self,ur families,ur friends,ur on known admires,and above all 2 our father in heaven.May God continue 2 be with u,I support every of ur actions and God those 2,so don't bother ur self on dis matter again,leave d rest 2 God 2 judge,he alone is d best judge.It is well with u.Staybless my dear wonderful sister.

  15. You go girl! Keep your head up.You have asked for forgiveness and no doubt that God has forgiven you. Wishing you success in all your future endeavors.

    1. You have asked for forgiveness and no doubt that God will forgive you. Our problem is that we worship and fear men of God than the God himself.Forgeting that they are still men like me and you. Had it been you saw him as a man first and expected all the things men do from him, maybe you would have escape the temptation if you were not interested. Let us worship and fear GOD and not the men.

    2. @ Essy. Forgiveness from who? A public show of forgiveness from jesus. Is that what the bible you claim to know teach? Can’t help but think that her approach in handling this matter is definately questionable. Anyone who sins has sinned against God not man and should therefore go to God and ask his forgiveness rather than making a public show of it.

      1. @Omo her approach isn’t questionable, itz ur comment dat is questionable. Dis lady has sacrificed her privacy, her shame just to save some other young girls who may find demselves in d same situation and u’r here talking rubbish. Pastor Biodun has strings of girlfriends, its no longer news… Are u one of dem? If u are, u can go on findin faults wit Ese. If u are not den shut up and face reality. D man has been exposed.. Dats reality

  16. Until we study the Bible ourselves & be DOERS of what the Word of GOD says, the Churches will continue to be FULL on sundays & the Narrow path to Heaven with VERY FEW people.

    1. True talk Tilewa. We should have a personal relationship with God and not ‘men’ of God, because at the end of it all, each man will give account of his/her life. Pastors or Clegymen will not automatically be elevated, they will give account too.

  17. yay! She also have a MacBook. So we must know her blogs are not from windows… Just incase.

  18. At the end is the grace of God that gives us the power to overcome all. Well said. May God continue to give us the grace to do right even in the face of difficulties/challenges

  19. Dear Walter,

    As much as I want to sympathise with you on this,your approach in tackling this issue could only raise questions about your motives and deepest intents. If you could find a ‘respected’ Xtian Leader to give ur supposed evidence,u should have look for him before going online in the first place. Now that uve gotten ur ‘fame’and the attention u suddenly found a respected clergyman. Pls learn that your reason n approach of tackling an issue is as important as the issue itself. Be properly guided next time.

    Yours truly,

    One of ur symphatisers

    1. Tunji are U mumu?! wht else do U wnt her to say or do? hv U ever even considere our Mr COZA Pastor & think of wht he hs done 4 a moment? If U dont belif ds lady U hold a 1st class degree in deceivingology!

      1. Tunji 1st Class Olodo/Mumu>> 10 Over Ten…Thanks <> Dont Mind D Mongo Park Mumu, I Knw Ese One On One She Cares Less About What Guys Like Tunji R Saying Cuz Theres No Peace And Joy With Out Finding Jesus ” Who For The Prize Set Before Him , He Endured The Cross DispiSing The Shame…” Shes Sed The Truth So You Coza Fans Can Go And Hang Urselfs Either You Believe It Or Not..The Major Point Here Is Find God For Urselfs Stop Worshiping Men Because We Are Too LaZy To Knw God One On One>> Thats What All This Has Opened My Eyes To…Cux Im Soo Shocked To My Bones And Has Made Me To Think Twice…TRHU ALL THIS IV BECOME MORE GOD FEARING..THE WAGES OF SIN IS FINALLY PAYING SUM PPLE ALREADY…JUST PRAY FOR THE CHURCH THINS WOULD NEVER BE THE SAME WETHER THEY ADMIT IT OR NOT BUT ITS FOR THE GOOD OF EVERY1 OF US TO BE CAREFUL ..JESUS CHRIST IS AT THE DOOR ==> RAPTURE<=== ARE YOU READY..FATHER HELP US.IJN AMEN

    2. Broda tunji, u wanted her to report to a clergyman so the case can be treated in-house and swept under the carpet as usual abi?Maybe you think advice like yours amounts to doing God or his church a favor ,if u think so please read ur bible again o…it is cos of advice like these the bible says many will come on “that day and say but we did this and that for you and in your name, and He will say to them I know you not”..

    3. well Tunji, she did report this case to a man of God who should av properly handled this case from the beginning, if u have followed her story, she reported to the senior pastor of COZA in Lagos and it was treated with a kids glove. All i know is that every thing will turn out fine eventually and i like that this has not made you turn your back on Christ, who is the author and the finisher of our faith.

  20. Good! Ese pls move on as u say. Let those dat want 2 remain n dark kip on sayin whtever they like. Pastors,evangelist,Bishop,Archbishop,Pope,deacons etc and d entire congregation of God hear this again “JUDGMENT WILL FIRST BEGINS IN THE HOUSE OF GOD”.

    1. are u prepared and ready for the judgement brooooooooo

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