Every day on the Nigerian Internet, there are people who keep our eyes glued to our phone screens as we read their rants, opinions, perspectives on political and social issues, etc. Sometimes, they are just downright ridiculous. We make it our job to take down the names of these noisemakers.
Here’s our list from today:
1. Abayomi Shogunle
But why would any lady be comfortable with being a sidechick?
Knowing fully well that you are just the mistress, the other woman!
I am feeling worried 😧 for some people.
— Abayomi Shogunle (@YomiShogunle) September 1, 2018
Well… So many people are comfortable with so many things that affect them negatively.
Like the Police being nonchalant with the rot in the Force.
2. Wale Ozolua
So, somebody can't spell Kogi?
"kongi State" pic.twitter.com/CNqzm4ORu9
— Wale Ozolua (@WaleOzolua) September 1, 2018
Sounds like the person was konji-ed at that moment 😂😂😂.
I’m not there oo!!
It’s actually not funny. All these kind of mistakes are avoidable. And they usually have lasting effects. It’s already printed na.
3. Nemelu Akamelu
Hanty wants to give us bobo.
Few weeks ago, this my friend had sex with this guy and regretted it afterwards, she even went as far as deleting and blocking his number, and now just yesterday he fucked her again😭 just how ??!!!? pic.twitter.com/tVOssUW3nZ
— Nemelu Akamelu 🤰 (@Nemeluakamelu) September 1, 2018
Even if it were true, there’s no other explanation than she was Dicktated to and she went back since the lesson has not ended.
4. Pastor Steven
The perfect way to prevent unwanted pregnancy, is to have sex in the middle of the night when the sperms are asleep. Try it and thank me later.😂😂😂
— Pastor Steven and 14 others (@iamsteveolaa) September 1, 2018
Ko ye mi oo, must you come online to type rubbish ni?
Biko nu nwanne anyi, can you tell us what this one is teaching us now?
Just like his partner in crime:
You mean people get pregnant from having sex !??😳😳🤯
— Uchay🔥 (@TheUchayy) September 1, 2018
5. Semiloore Akoni
I was broke and I saw money on the floor and wanted to pick it but then I realized it’s better to be broke than be goat pepper soup later that night 😭😂
— DADDY THE FATHER (@SemiloooreAkoni) September 1, 2018
We should thank God for our parents and older ones who taught us all these things. 🙏🙏🙏
Or how would we have known that picking stuff could change our physical state?
We sold out the Biggest House of Blues in America!! !!!! Thank you Boston🇺🇸🚧🔊!!! 🔥🔥🔥🔥 Next stop Made in America Festival 2day! pic.twitter.com/aDQoHM8QzM
— Davido (@iam_Davido) September 1, 2018
Ahah! Brother Davidiii. In NYSC camp?
Or is this not the same Davido that trended for going to camp?
7. Dr Joe Abah
The better you smell, the more likeable you become. Invest in an antiperspirant deodorant and subtle perfume. It doesn’t have to be expensive. A cheap roll-on is fine. Nothing is worse than people holding their breath when you are around them, or suffocating when you walk past.
— Dr. Joe Abah (@DrJoeAbah) September 1, 2018
You need to be audible please.
Omoleye Omoruyi… an apprentice web/game developer, novelist, sensitive to happenings in the world. Meet him @Lord_rickie on Twitter/Instagram