Every day on the Nigerian internet, there are people who keep our eyes glued to our phone screens as we read their rants, opinions, perspectives on political and social matters, etc. Sometimes, they are just downright ridiculous. We make it our job to take down the names of these noisemakers.

Here’s our list from today:

 

1 Pastor Sam Adeyemi

Nothing like pastoral blessings to set the right tone for the new month.

Happy New Month. I see phenomenal shifts for you. This month, enjoy a higher dimension of success in all your life endeavours.

— Sam Adeyemi (@sam_adeyemi) June 1, 2017

Pastor Sam has prophesied into our lives and all we can say is “Let it be so”.

 

2. @FK.

It’s a new month, and a perfect time to muse on our goals for the year, such as we have made. In all of this, prioritising friendships is key.

Hear FK:

I know we're all scissors and everyone is cutting everyone off in 2017 but honestly there are some of your people you must not let go of

— FK. (@fkabudu) May 31, 2017

Keep your distance if they're moving mad, but there's power in being the one that stays too.

— FK. (@fkabudu) May 31, 2017

Not everytime throwing people away. Sometimes fight for important relationships (that aren't fundamentally toxic) if you can

— FK. (@fkabudu) May 31, 2017

Good stuff.

 

3. Donald Trump

One person who does not care for old friendships is President Trump. Guess he took that saying about friends in politics to heart. You’ll see what we mean shortly.

Trump has really settled into tweeting like he never left. If his trip round the globe achieved anything, it’s his renewed zeal to prove that he is working for the Americans and the media just enjoy making him out to be a victim.

But why did Trump take seeming random shots at Hillary? Must be that speech she gave, where she called “covfefe” a metaphor for the White House.

[Did you miss]: Hillary puts Donald Trump on roast a second time

Whatever the case, here’s what Trump tweeted:

Crooked Hillary Clinton now blames everybody but herself, refuses to say she was a terrible candidate. Hits Facebook & even Dems & DNC.

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) June 1, 2017

Awwww. Such a pain in the neck, isn’t she? Taking your shine and all that pettiness?

Poor Trump!

 

4. Hillary Clinton

 

Hillary Clinton wasn’t about to stomach Trump’s criticism, so she clapped back in epic style:

People in covfefe houses shouldn't throw covfefe. https://t.co/M7oK5Z6qwF

— Hillary Clinton (@HillaryClinton) June 1, 2017

Classic! Badass!

Go on with your witty self, Madam President as-she-should-have-been.

 

5. Donald Trump

 

Trump has become a daily noisemaker, so we can’t help featuring him over and again. This tweet is interesting because we expected POTUS would leave well enough alone, after the FBI pretty much said Obama did not tap his phones. Instead, Donald comes up with a new angle, and this time, it’s “people”.

The big story is the "unmasking and surveillance" of people that took place during the Obama Administration.

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) June 1, 2017

We have questions: which people? How many? Why was Obama surveilling “people”? Are these “people” members of Trump’s campaign team? Oh, and when should we expect the “unmasking” of this big story?

Dammit, Trump. We can’t wait. Spill.

 

6. Gimba Kakanda

 

If Trump is hanging onto his “hero” status by his red tie, Nnamdi Kanu is sitting pretty tight on the exalted throne, right next to that of Ojukwu. This is why he could call for a “Seat At Home” in the East and the people obeyed. Oga Trump, can you try it?

Regardless of the Kanu magic, Gimba Kakanda is taking digs at Kanu’s negligible typos.

What is all this sef? Like Hillary, like Kaknda abi wetin? Take a look:

Literacy has neither ethnicity nor region. If you "seat" at home hoping to be "heros," education and "englighment" will not be "are asure." pic.twitter.com/Q42qPDEI4S

— Gimba Kakanda (@gimbakakanda) June 1, 2017

Ehn, uncle, we get it: you went to school; you know bekee. Can you speak Igbo, though? If the flyer was in Igbo, wee you be pontificating “literacy”?

Biko, give our “heros” a break, tainz.

 

7. Prof. Osinbajo aka Campaigner-in-Chief

OMG! Look at the love he received in Calabar. In case you were cynical, Prof Osinbajo, our Acting President is intent on leaving you in no doubt of his charm. He is the people’s man.

Calabar, thank you so much for the warmth and welcome. pic.twitter.com/V6dtVa101z

— Prof Yemi Osinbajo (@ProfOsinbajo) June 1, 2017

Someone wondered what all this is about.

[See also]: Has Acting President Osinbajo Commenced 2019 Presidential Campaign?

Well, they say a picture is worth more than a thousand words, and here we have 4.

You’re welcome.

 

8. Cheta Nwanze

Speaking of the 2019 elections, this video gives you an idea of what we might be in for.

WATCH:

Lagos Island. This morning. 2019 elections are gonna be lit… pic.twitter.com/hAXc6qCFjX

— Chxta (@Chxta) June 1, 2017

Dear Lord

9. Ifeoluwa

Not every time politics and world drama, sometimes ponder on the vicissitudes of life like:

When your pastor is preaching about giving unconditionally and even the church WIFI is passworded ?? pic.twitter.com/TvLlqvJhhV

— Princess Ife❤️ (@ife_luv12) June 1, 2017

Na so. So that porn hub will be ministering to brethren in the Lord in the House of God, abi?

Over to you, Lion King.

https://twitter.com/HXRLEEN/status/869707996078776320

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