Every day on the Nigerian internet, there are people who keep our eyes glued to our phone screens as we read their rants, opinions, perspectives on political and social matters, etc. Sometimes, they are just downright ridiculous. We make it our job to take down the names of these noisemakers.

Here’s our list from today:

1. Mark Essien

A good example of when people think they have all the facts.

The beginning of Linda Ikeji's trouble started when her site became very slow for a long time – people started looking for alternatives. Many never returned.

— Mark Essien (@markessien) March 28, 2018

2. Toyin Abraham

Yaaay!!

https://www.instagram.com/p/Bg3CkD_hBz4/?taken-by=toyin_abraham

Who else is happy for Linda Ikeji?

3. Diji Aderogba

Just as Nigerian singer, songwriter, Olawale Ashimi, known as Brymo releases another beautiful one

~ I feel @BrymOlawale wrote that OLANREWAJU song for me tbh. I can connect so well with it…

Bro @BrymOlawale , I’m a very good visuals storyteller & obviously, you are one and I hope one day, just one day, we can work together to shoot a video for you. You are a GENIUS!

— director D. (@dijiaderoGBA) March 28, 2018

Please watch below:

4. Philip Amiola

Do you really believe this? Who says you can't be young and wise? Think about it. We shouldn't agree with every quote or 'wise saying' without subjecting them to deliberate personal scrutiny. https://t.co/w7XCm6AqLZ

— Philip Amiola (@PhilipAmiola) March 28, 2018

Philip tell them oo! How is this really obtainable now?

To be old and wise, you must first be young and stupid. – Unknown #quote #freeSPIRIT pic.twitter.com/s05KeekZnv

— freeSPIRIT (@SpeakLiveTrue) March 28, 2018

5. Kevin Eze

This one might just be playing himself.

I just wish you girls can be in the shoes of guys for a day and see how it is when almost all the girls on your contact list are consciously trying to turn you into an ATM. ??

— Kevin Eze (@Xclusive_Pikin) March 28, 2018

Who sent you to have “all the girls” on your contact list.

Better be responsible since you have convened the August meeting.

6. Don Jazzy

Awwwww…

Has he now moved from Rihanna to Linda Ikeji or is Don Jazzy just pitying himself that he is the only one remaining?

I only asked shaa.

There is one peculiar reply though:

https://www.instagram.com/p/Bg35UYwFrl1/?taken-by=therealfemi

This table Femi is shaking…

7. Joe Abah

Can someone please explain to me why @followlasg is shutting down the 4th largest economy in Africa for 1 day because President Buhari is visiting? If @AkinwunmiAmbode cannot see the implications, @MBuhari MUST! We’ve successfully fought “Environmental Saturday’s”, now this? Smh

— Dr. Joe Abah (@DrJoeAbah) March 28, 2018

Well, It turns out Ambode only cares about Lagosians when he is trying to impress Buhari.

It is just heart-breaking that a public holiday will be declared for the President’s visit. Is heart-breaking even an adequate word?

One other reaction:

Haa, the .@followlasg Public Holiday because of President’s visit is REAL o. Come on eyin ara Eko! What is happening to You Cosmopolitan folks? What kind of reductionist path is this naa? ?????? https://t.co/9mH6S0cTPP

— Oby Ezekwesili (@obyezeks) March 28, 2018

8. Parosident Buhari

It was on this day 3 years ago that some human beings opened their 2 eyes and thumbprinted for me.

— Parosident Buhari (@TheMbuhari) March 28, 2018

9. Adannaya Chikito

So 5years ago, one of my distant relatives was ripe for marriage and there were 2 people disturbing her then.
One was rich and the other was poor.
She chose the Rich one.
Funny how time flies.
She’s giving birth to her 3rd child in the US and happy.
The poor one is still poor.

— Adannaya Chikito (@Miss_Adannaya) March 28, 2018

Na wa oo! Some beliefs can be strange though.

Few replies:

The story has not ended. The guy you termed "poor" is still full of life. She is having her third child doesnt mean God has stopped turning tables. Allow ur relative marry in peace and dont shame others.

— emeka (@Icon3000i) March 28, 2018

These are two different timelines. And you never can tell if your life would ve been a lot better this. My point is, thank God for what you have without shaming others

— emeka (@Icon3000i) March 28, 2018

Is your dad dangote? Or do you live in banana island?… Hide your face abeg

— Mr Shairman Sir????? (@Fredsmokes) March 28, 2018

OK so why did she pick the rich guy ????? Lemme answer already, she too was poor thus picking the rich guy wasn't an issue …
Secondly , who did she know first ?? I believe its the poor guy right ??

— Odudu Johnson ?? (@Ody_johnson) March 28, 2018

10. ThankGod Ukachukwu

They manipulated google yesterday and @AdeBanqie was jubilating that our cockney-accent speaking Madam has done what NOI could not do. The exchange rate has gone back to where Buharidepreciated it. ? pic.twitter.com/1SQN0gOBpg

— Don Barzini (@tksilicon) March 28, 2018

The Central Bank of Nigeria (CBN) is in charge of Monetary policies while the Finance Minister is in charge of Fiscal policies, so how come she is mentioned here?

Some people and their ignorance…

Heavy sigh! Let’s end here today.