Every day on the Nigerian internet, there are people who keep our eyes glued to our phone screens as we read their rants, opinions, perspectives on political and social matters, etc. Sometimes, they are just downright ridiculous. We make it our job to take down the names of these noisemakers.

Here’s our list from today:

1. Uncle Sola

If you are a Christian man who fasts and prays so often, where will you even find the time to be raping women and wives all over the place? It’s Twitter sex addicts with no commitment to the things of the spirit that should be worried for themselves.

— #AskUncleSola (@solaadio) February 9, 2018

It was when David didn’t go to war and stayed home to watch porn that he fell into Beersheba. Guard your heart from porn and worldly influences. Keep your eyes on the Word and you won’t be entangled in these rudiments of the world.

— #AskUncleSola (@solaadio) February 9, 2018

But temptations come, even when the person is prayerful. Remember Job?

2. Aisha Buhari

Just like when she posted videos of Senators attacking her husband, the president, the First lady has posted a story of the Assistant Inspector-General of Police (AIG), Zone 5, Rasheed Akintunde, who said, only 20 per cent of policemen are engaged in protecting lives and ensuring peace in the country.

3. Sydney Icon

The governor of Kogi, Yahaya Bello went after Catholic Bishops for asking President Buhari to act more like a father but, the governor received a backlash for that.

The Biggest Animal
In The History Of Humanity
That Yeye Useless Bello
Is An Express Exhibition Of Gross
Incompetence And Cowardice

— Sydney Icon (@IamSydney10) February 9, 2018

4. Adekunle Gold

The singer does not seem happy with this year’s Big Brother Africa housemates.

https://twitter.com/adekunleGOLD/status/962041152936460289

Some replies:

Think??? From all angles Biko.. These ones are infants,awon golden morn ambassadors oshi

— Oluwaseun (@temmiare) February 9, 2018

I concur ??

— Daisy?️?️ (@DaisyBrownie1) February 9, 2018

5. Shaykh Azhar

Nothing sustains a marriage like a nice prank every once in a while.

Unless the prank is shaving someone’s head while they are asleep. That will probably lead to divorce.

— Shaykh Azhar Nasser (@ShaykhAzhar) February 9, 2018

Hmmm… the spouse might misinterprete it though.

Some replies:

Shaykh please, and the lame “I will marry a second wife” prank. It’s not even classified as a prank.

— Łyne / لِـيْـنٌ / ??? / ‏ܠܝܼܢ / ??? (@Hejazite) February 9, 2018

You are putting ideas into their heads Shaykh ?

— S Q (@escue1) February 9, 2018

6. Joe Abah

The Doctor has reacted to Vice President Yemi Osinbajo’s announcement that the government is ready to consider state police, as the Force cannot be effectively controlled from Aso Rock.

I have always been against State police, mainly on the grounds that Governors will abuse it. I have now changed my mind. If am to remain intellectually honest, I must admit that the fear of abuse is never a good argument against devolution. You can put in safeguards against abuse

— Dr. Joe Abah (@DrJoeAbah) February 9, 2018

Some replies:

Good point. But I don't think we should solve a problem by bringing up more problems. A multi layer police force, that is one with the FG and the other syate/community police. Many states are not viable. Imagine having state police in Benue and not paying them?

— Olukayode bakre (@kayodebakre8) February 9, 2018

What happens when states can't pay salaries to police officers? What happens when two govs have differing views that bothers on security like the recent problem btwn Rochas and Wike? We must be careful in that corridor.

— Olukayode bakre (@kayodebakre8) February 9, 2018

I'm sure they are ways to deal with potential issues. We can learn from other countries that have similar systems.

Also, state policing should not be introduced in isolation, there are several things that we need to put in place before we implementing this

— Olawale (@olutola) February 9, 2018

If a Governor abuse his powers over law enforcement, it is restricted to a state. In a one federal police country, if a President abuses his powers over the police, it affects the whole country. Crime rate will be high for the whole country.

— Obinna Nnamani (@obnnamani) February 9, 2018

I believe the time is ripe but it shouldn't be a must now rather voluntary adoption cus so many states can't afford to have a state police. Any state that is ready should start while others still use the federal police with more powers given 2 d governors in terms of deployments

— Enetomhe Stephen (@enetomhestephen) February 9, 2018

7. Bukola Saraki

The Senate President mourns veteran journalist, author and media manager, Mahmoon Baba-Ahmed.

He died at his residence in Kaduna at about 10:47 p.m. at the age of 74 after a protracted illness.

The passing of veteran broadcaster, Mahmoon Baba-Ahmed, is not only a loss to journalism but to the entire nation. Many of you might recall how the fearless Baba-Ahmed risked his life to report live the Maitatsine crises in the 80’s. pic.twitter.com/qSBFoOuwgg

— Bukola Saraki (@bukolasaraki) February 9, 2018