It’s becoming a daily phenomenon. Someone waltz into social media and tries to teach others what’s passe and what’s modern.

You’d agree that there seems to be a muse determining these things and it works in mysterious ways with Nigerians. Or how do you explain the notion that the tradition of using your hands to eat òkèlè shouldn’t be tampered with, but families coming together at an occasion is a modern taboo?

It has become a tradition in Nigeria for “those with the loudest voices” to assume responsibility for societal dictates – the norms, the pop cultures, ethos, etc. Why not? There’s a large section of the Nigerian presumably progressive community who call them ‘the influencers of our time.’ Afterall, influencing Nigerians is not the same as just changing the power supply phase in your house.

Coupled with this art of influencing however, is a conspicuous superiority complex. Then, you remember the saviour complex – that which makes their hearts run everyday.

“I could save them from their dark ways.”

We can’t deny that some cultural elements need to be unlearned – especially the diabolical ones. For instance, one can’t argue that killing of twins is a tradition we should reconsider. We could as well tie you to a stake at the beach and forget your existence if you ask us to rethink our stance on that.

Or the culture where women have to drink water used to bathe their husband’s corpse on suspicion that she killed him. Yet, there are cultural activities we need to regard more than we condemn.

The conversation started on social media if women should continue cooking at family gatherings or employ the services of a caterer. It grew into some expressing opinions that family occasions like Eid Fitri or the New Yam festival should have an event planner instead of men and women coming together – as a family – to make it happen.

Perhaps, these people may have forgotten that such events are ‘family events’ and are platforms to promote familial love.

For the sake of truth, the community spirit is almost dead in Nigeria and the generations starting from millennials till date have, relatively, no idea what family bonding means as most are even reluctant to understand its meaning.

That needs to be unlearnt.

There’s a need to halt all intentional efforts to erase all elements of our culture because we believe they are archaic. And, we need to stop listening to people who have the superior complexes in these instances.

Families exist for a reason and the assumption that these events look like enslavement is problematic.

Also, pass on your ideas without condemning others. Stop choking others!