“You taint everything you touch!” – YNaija Weekly Tinsel Review: Jan 16 – 20

by Joy Ehonwa

"Out-of-Character" - Kwame, Phillip, Telema and Soji

Can you imagine!  That, that, that… Mrs. Etuk cleared out all her money at the bank the day Amaka gave birth, leaving only enough to write the hospital a cheque that wouldn’t bounce? She even moved out of her relative’s house weeks before that! Where was the witch living – in a tree?

Her file says she has only a few weeks to live, so what exactly does she plan to do with a newborn baby? Poor Detective Sankey looked so miserable when Amaka told her it was all her fault her baby was missing. Then she took out her frustrations on the naive nurse, who saw Mrs Etuk leaving with a baby, and with whom Mrs. Etuk left a cheque to cover her hospital expenses. Unfortunately, she can’t see yet that her real problem is that man, Officer Segun who always looks like he’s about to smile.

Why did he neglect to check Mrs. Etuk’s last known address? Why does he keep sneaking out of Sankey’s office to take secret phone calls? And when a woman who fit Mrs Etuk’s description was found at the park, he told Sankey it was a false alarm. Really. Even though we only saw her back, judging by her dress and gait, that woman looked suspiciously like Mrs Etuk. We’ve got our eyes on Segun.

And we can’t help feeling sorry for Nero. First it was Sankey insinuating that he had a hand in the baby’s disappearance, having become disenchanted with the idea of his lover having another man’s child. Next it was Amaka herself telling him “It’s not your baby, why should you care?” Of course she apologised later and took his advice, deciding not to go to Calabar as she earlier planned, but that’s not enough – Amaka should refrain from throwing hurtful words at a man who loves her and just wants to be there for her, before he gets fed up. There’s only so much of a ‘strong woman’ act she can put up.

The Ade-Williams, however, are already fed up. Sheila, who had earlier curtly asked Tare to stay out of her personal business, got so frustrated, she ended up telling her how she wishes she could shake some sense into her husband. Phillip thinks it is time to come clean to the board, and appoint a new Chairman. This should give some relief to Sheila, who is already running out of excuses and lies.

Speaking of lies, Shoshanna found that her two friends have known all along that the boyfriend “Jason” with whom she was always speaking on the phone didn’t actually exist. What a shame! Then Shalewa proudly told them about her friend Tokunbo – who is, as we can all confirm, all too real.

Kwame’s secret was also exposed. Telema found out he sponsored her movie and reacted exactly as Kwame feared; she was livid: “Why does your way of helping always involve lies and deceit? Do you realise you practically paid that guy to rape me? That’s what happens to people like you, you taint everything you touch.” Ouch!

The police called him in for questioning. While he admitted paying Varere for a film, he denied the transaction had anything to do with Telema. Why didn’t he just come clean? Something Kwame never seems to learn – these things always find a way to come out.

Of course, the biggest secret of all is the one being harboured by whoever killed Varere Brume. Telema recognised the hair ruffle found in his hand when he died, and if her DNA matches the hair strands collected from it, she may be arrested. In the event that she is, will the real killer love her enough to step forward?

Till next week!

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Comments (4)

  1. Lovely review, ma'am. Just the right mix of upbeat and elegant.

  2. Wow! A friend just sent me your website for Tinsel gists. This is excellent!

  3. Shalewa and her mum tire me out jere

cool good eh love2 cute confused notgood numb disgusting fail