by Olga Kachmar

The beginning of our relationships with those we love is always romantic and full of expectations. It seems our happiness and mutual understanding will last forever. However, when some time passes you may realize that this guy is not the one you were looking for and your feelings to him fade.

If something goes wrong in your relations and you can’t change it, there is no other choice but to leave your lover. Otherwise, your further communication with him will bring you disappointment and lots of quarrels. Sure, it will not be so easy to tell your man that you want to break up with him. You should choose carefully the most appropriate way to do this in order to avoid stressful situations. Try to leave your lover in a polite form without any insults and don’t put your decision until tomorrow, act right now! So, if you’ve made up your mind to start a new life without your boyfriend, the following tips will help you to leave him peacefully.

1. Meet Him In Person

To my mind, the best way to say goodbye to your lover is to meet him eye to eye. Surely, it will not be a pleasant thing to do. Plus, when you see him in person you may lose all your courage and give way to numerous temptations like kissing. Finally, your intentions will come to nothing and you’ll continue relationship that doesn’t have future. That’s why I would recommend you to meet your partner in a public place like a café or a park. It will give you a nice opportunity to discuss the problem without arguing.

2. Talk to Him On the Phone

In case you are not brave enough to announce your desire while looking into his eyes, it would be better to call your man and tell him everything directly. This way, you will feel more comfortable and confident without being afraid to express your thoughts openly. As an alternative, you can choose to send a message to your guy, though, it will not be respectful. When you hear his voice, you’ll be able to explain the reason of your decision and answer his questions. Keep your conversation short and be tactful with your interlocutor.

3. Move On

There are some situations in our life, when we don’t have to say anything. Sometimes our actions can tell about us even more than words. Perhaps all you need is to move to another place and stay there for a certain period of time or even forever. If you live in a big city, you may simply move to another district so that you will be unreachable to your boyfriend and he will understand that you escaped from him. By moving out of the town you’ll have a wonderful chance to think over your relationship, widen your outlook and leave negative emotions behind. Furthermore, it is a great way to avoid unpleasant talks with your partner and giving reasons.

4. Send an Email to Your Lover

This is one of the most polite and official ways to inform a man that you are not interested in him anymore. I have a few girlfriends who broke up with their guys with the help of email and I should say it was quite a successful experience for them. When you compose a letter, you have enough time to muse about all the details and give voice to your thoughts that are worth mentioning. Consequently, you’ll get a response from your lover and it will provide a reciprocal agreement for you. Writing an email will allow you to end your relationship in a civil way.

5. Don’t Make Excuses

Once you’ve chosen to leave your partner, there is no way back. It means you have a number of problems that arouse distrust and hostility between the two of you. It is impossible to continue your relations if they make you unhappy and sad. One way or another, you should give valid reasons why you want to break up and keep in mind that weak excuses will not work. Thus, it is necessary to state clearly all things you are not satisfied with and think thoroughly to give well-grounded answers. Don’t be aggressive and use the words that will not humiliate your boyfriend.

6. You May Text Him

Sending a message to the guy will work perfectly only if you had several dates with him and he didn’t excite your imagination. You’ve recently met this guy and he is extremely persistent in following you. Definitely, his behavior will irritate you and you’ll be tired of his calls and messages. The only way out is to text him a couple of sentences that will show your real attitude to him. Probably, your admirer will not leave you immediately after this and he will look for different ways to contact you. No matter how often he calls you and texts you, be patient and don’t respond him. Sooner or later he will realize that you ignore him and stop doing that.

7. Don’t Get Back to Him

You took pains to move to another stage of your life and this break up was terrible for you, but eventually you’ve reached your goal and you are free now. Undoubtedly, you will meet your ex later and he will try to make a compromise and start again at every possible opportunity. It will be unreasonable to go back to him since you’ve already weighed all pros and cons. You will not change your lover – his bad sides will cause your disaffection and hostility in future. Be confident about your decision and leave him without regret.

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Op-ed pieces and contributions are the opinions of the writers only and do not represent the opinions of Y!/YNaija.