Have you ever tried to salvage a relationship, only to be burned badly? Other times, no matter how hard we try, our partner is no longer interested in a relationship with us. Here are some warning signs to show that your relationship is in trouble.
Not all warning signs have to be present for there to be a problem in the relationship, as different problems and various personalities can make a number of unique combinations of relationship trouble.
The common denominators here are your gut telling you something is wrong, and your insecurities that did not surface (or worsen) until AFTER the relationship.
1) You sense that something is wrong, but your partner won’t tell you when you ask.
2) Your partner often cancels on you, despite not having other obligations (e.g. a job).
3) You make practically all the effort to initiate contact, or at least feel like you are.
“You feel like you would have to scream at your partner to get him/her to understand you.”
4) You feel like your partner is not making you a priority, no matter how much he/she reassures you otherwise.
5) You purposely avoid talking to certain friends and family members about your relationship because you are afraid they will declare your partner’s actions (or lack thereof) as a sign of irreparable disinterest.
6) You feel like you would have to scream at your partner to get him/her to understand you.
7) Your partner waffles back an forth on his/her judgment of you. This can encompass health, hobbies, etc. that he/she claimed to be fine with in the beginning. He/she backpedals when you explain yourself, then changes his/her mind again.
8) You sense that your partner is bored, distracted, or unenthused when you are together, despite your attempts to please him/her. You feel especially distraught because this even happens at a place he/she wanted to go.
9) You miss the days where he/she would text you or talk to you on the phone for hours on end, do small things for you, and touch you in a way where you felt special, loved, and incredible amounts of affection with every hug or caress.
10) Your partner makes excuses as to why he/she cannot do small favors that are important to you yet take little effort on his/her part.
11) Your friends think you are awesome, but you’re not so sure if your partner feels the same these days. Thus, you try extra hard to “prove” how nice/smart/funny/giving you are.
12) Your partner no longer finds you humorous, despite your friends’ appreciation of your humor.
13) Your partner does not introduce you to his/her friends and you feel like it’s way overdue.
14) Your partner does not introduce you to his/her family and leaves you to fend for yourself if you do encounter a family member.
15) Your partner mentions how people talk about you behind your back to him, but he/she never verbally defends you.
16) You felt comfortable with your body in the beginning of the relationship, but then you sense your partner’s lack of interest in sexual activities and wonder if you really are fat/unattractive. Thus you seek reassurance from your partner, but to no avail.
17) Your partner never takes you out anywhere despite having enough free time and money.
And, of course, the most obvious:
18) Your partner breaks up with you, leaving you confused and hurt, especially if he/she validates your fears as true (e.g. breaking up with you because he/she really DID find you fat and unattractive). Your partner asks for a break when you plead to stay with him/her, yet when you reconsider whether or not it would be smart to ever get back together, he/she is indifferent.
When your partner blames YOU for being sad and crying over his/her indifference toward you (e.g. “You’re crying over yourself,” “you’re unhappy because you [insert harmless hobby here],” and “I’m just telling you this so you can improve yourself; don’t do it for me.”) you need to RUN.
It’s difficult to anticipate such disappointments from people who claim to love us because many of us will often blame ourselves for our feelings. If you are unhappy in a relationship, you may just try to convince yourself that you’re too fickle or too demanding. Or, you may ask your partner about what is wrong, and the issue is temporarily resolved until things get back to blah again.
Relationships should not feel like you are bugging your partner, nor should you be giving so much that you feel burned out by lack of reciprocation.
Op-ed pieces and contributions are the opinions of the writers only and do not represent the opinions of Y!/YNaija.