by The Examiner
The Feminist Movement along with several Beyonce songs turned Suzie Homemaker into Ms. Independent. And in today’s generation, there are at least 8 Things women just don’t do anymore (that they should!). But the independent woman didn’t just affect women. Naturally, it changed the way men did things in relationships too!
The chivalrous gentleman is rare, if not, non-existent because women claim they can do things on their own. But maybe there are a few things that men used to do, that they should bring back.
Open doors & pull out chairs
Young men used to be raised to open the door for a lady. Especially the young lady you’re courting. Now it seems like some young men aren’t taught that at all. And some of those that were taught that, have stopped doing so because women tell them they don’t have to do all that. There was a time when a woman’s hand did not touch a door handle! But that is not the case today. And maybe it’s not necessary to go to the extreme today, but the gesture is still nice. Maybe it’s too far for you to get both sets of doors if they are back to back (like in a mall). Maybe you get the first door and she gets the next for you (instead of waiting there wasting time and looking crazy. But just because a woman can open the door for herself and pull out her own chair, doesn’t mean you should stop. She will appreciate that you were brought up with good manners. Watching a man run to hold the door open for an elderly woman is just so sexy!
Pay for meals
Men used to pay for all of the meals. But now it’s a complete toss up if the meal will be his treat, her treat, or dutch. There is nothing wrong with a woman paying for the meal. And there’s nothing wrong with going dutch! There is, however, something wrong with the man that never pays for a meal. Some men take the independent woman thing way too far and use it as an excuse to get free meals. Especially if she usually cooks at home, it would be nice to treat her to a night out on the town every now and then.
Bring home the bacon
Men used to be the primary breadwinners. According to the Pew Research Center, women are the primary breadwinners in 40% of households with children under the age of 18, up from 11% in 1960. The family dynamic is changing and there is nothing wrong with that! There’s nothing wrong with men being stay at home fathers. There is nothing wrong with women making more than men. The issue comes in when a man does not want to work and is not willing to contribute to the household at all.
Fix things around the house
Men used to be able to fix anything around the house, put anything together, and then change the oil! Maybe you don’t have to be the handyman, but you need to be useful around the house. At the very least, you should be able to put things together with her (for all of those trips to Ikea). Every man should have a screwdriver (a phillips and flathead), a hammer, and a basic ratchet set. If you own a car, you should know at least five things about how to fix it. You don’t have to know everything about car maintenance, but it would be nice if she could have a man’s opinion every now and then since mechanics typically tend to take advantage of women.
Back in the 50s there were so many levels to the dating game. Nowadays, guys just text back and forth and then one day you get “hang out” or “watch a movie” text. And that pretty much sums up the dating process. Maybe you don’t have to go so far as the Duggar’s (waiting to hold hands), but maybe there should be some levels to this stuff. Maybe you should take the time to treat her like a lady.
Stand when a woman leaves the table
Stand when a woman leaves the table… walk on the street side when you’re walking with a woman… There are a few chivalrous things that used to just come naturally to men. Now it’s so rare that it’s noticeable when men actually do do them. But those little things, that may seem small, are the little things that demonstrate how much you love and respect and are willing to protect her.
Men used to do things just out of the blue. Surprise her with flowers, just because. Run her bubble bath. Plan a weekend getaway. Some men still do these things, but it’s very rare. You’d be surprised how much it means to her. Even the woman that says she doesn’t likes surprises loves thoughtful, romantic surprises.
Ask for her hand in marriage
Asking for her hand in marriage used to be step one in the proposal process. Before you even buy the ring, you needed to make sure it was okay with her father. But nowadays, the marriage process has become less about involving the parents and more about whatever the couple wants (since they’re more than likely paying for it). But perhaps asking for her hand in marriage is one tradition that shouldn’t be tossed aside. Even though you may have talked about marriage together as a couple, it’s still a good idea to talk to her parents before you get down on bended knee, if nothing else, as a sign of respect.
Read more in The Examiner
Op-ed pieces and contributions are the opinions of the writers only and do not represent the opinions of Y!/YNaija.