by Cheta Nwanze

 In Ghana, the Ghananese are queueing up early for their elections, voting materials are arriving on time and the late arrival of an EC official in the Volta Region caused outrage. He was 30 minutes late. You see, the reason he was late is that he is a youth. Of the Nigerian kind.

As it was, back home in Nigeria, youth leader, Bode George has been nominated for the African Leadership Award by Nigerian students under the aegis of NANS. Now that’s a solid example of what Nigeria’s young aspires to be. Forgive me while I throw up. Just as a moot point, he won the award.

It comes as no surprise then that fresh from clearing (more or less) the disgraced Fakrook, our House of Reps has resolved to wade into the “family dispute” between another yoot, and someone who in other climes would be described as almost geriatric. Given our peculiar proclivities in Nigeria though, we can safely refer to both of them as “yoots”. What is the moral of both stories? Does anyone remember that song by African China? “Poor man wey tif maggi omo dem go show im face for crime fighter…”

One of the reasons that people like Bode and Farouk get away more or less (Bode was put away for a two year holiday), is that we have all sorts of nebulous groups who rather than look at issues, prefer to scream either ethnic or religious rubbish. Thus it was that the Nigerian Army has been forced to deny that it is discriminating against Muslims because it removed the two Generals who were in command when two suicide bombers waltzed into Jaji and did their business. Permit me to swear!!! These guys were removed for gross incompetence, and someone is saying that it is because they are Muslims?

Maybe it is because they are Muslims that we have high ranking officials who have been linked with the Boko Haram movement still sashaying around freely and hobnobbing with the rich and famous. Now the Chief Security Officer of Borno state, under who’s watch the Boko Haram nonsense has gone from bad to worse, is rather than just shutting up and enjoying his security vote, looking to deflect the blame to others. Don’t worry Uncle Kashim, in Nigeria, we are very forgiving.

Given our readiness to tell people to “go and sin no more”, rapists in Ekiti state have decided to up their game. This is according to the state branch of FIDA. The group’s lead crooner also commended the state police for arresting 85 year old Sam Oladipupo who decided to feel young again by mounting a 12 year old…

Bits and bobs

Years after failing, both SGBN and Savannah Bank will soon be back to the business of collecting customer deposits and dashing them to wealthy geezers who have no intentions of paying back. To do this however, they will be needing a loan from the CBN. The apex bank has graciously obliged.

Still smarting from the (rumoured) lateness of allowee, the Senate has screamed at the cost of the reconstruction of the VP’s hut.

The chaps at The Punch have brought out their calculators to inform us that N3.3 billions have been spent on Bros GEJ’s foreign jamborees this year. Wetin dey do una? Una no know say Prezo suppose fly in style? It is increasingly looking like Punch is being sponsored by “political enemies” of the transformation agenda.

The Vanguard is showing a huge sense of drama. They’ve aggregated all the Dim stories in one page. Since today is a feel good Friday, enjoy reading.

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Op-ed pieces and contributions are the opinions of the writers only and do not represent the opinions of Y!/YNaija.