As it is now and from the rumours that made rounds yesterday, we’re in between palpitations and may it not be heard that we died from a heart attack even before the babies arrive.

It’s been two weeks and one day since Queen Bey shared a photo on Instagram and we’ve found ourselves frantically scouring the net for a clue or anything that might lead to the revelation we need *no, scratch that the revelation we deserve.

At the time of posting, that photo spinned off a number of conspiracy theories that led us to almost believe that Beyoncé’s twins have actually already arrived. The internet concluded it was a throwback pic as she didn’t look as pregnant as she did at her push party the previous week. But isn’t the internet always right? Bey has yet to say anything else to her 103 million Instagram followers since that day and yes, some of us (loads of us, actually) have woken up every morning since that day to imaginations of her cradling the twins and Jay “rapping” them to sleep (If you won’t show us, we’ll make it up in our heads).

Fast forward to last night, there was a brief period of insanity on the internet. Someone shared info about Beyonce “shutting down an entire floor” of UCLA Hospital with The Shade Room and the think-pieces began to reel off news sites. “Is Beyonce giving birth this minute?”, “Is Beyonce in labour at the moment?”

Now that’s a fair distraction but we have every reason NOT to believe that Queen Bey shut down UCLA to have her babies. Only this week, we read that the Carters are building a “$1.69 million maternity ward in their Hollywood Hills mansion”. The report said they had a professional neonatal wing and medical high-tech equipment shipped into their mansion. This means one thing: Beyoncé will be birthing her twins at home.

Here’s another thing to consider. The internet (because no chill) told us this week also that Jay Z was seen in Jamaica over the weekend recording with Damien Marley. You all know there are zero chances of Jay Z leaving the US if Beyoncé is in labour or close to it or has just had babies. No way! So that feeds into the twisted narrative as well.

After all said, we’re back to square one! The question remains, “Have our twins arrived?”

Ol’up, don’t roll your eyes at us. Those twins are ours, yours, America’s, the world’s.

Has anyone thought about likely names Jay and Bey have for the babies? From the producers of Blue Ivy, there’s no telling what to expect, especially now that it’s double.

Tolu

Your pop culture/entertainment go-to. Music head. Wallflower. I do not like to write. On a mission to decipher covfefe.