We are number 35! and more in today’s news round-up with Cheta Nwanze

There is something rotten in the state of Nigeria, but the debate now is whether there is actually a genuine fight against this disease, or whether we are waiting for God to fight it for us…

Okay, so it is official. We are the 35th most corrupt country in the world. At least that’s what those nosey-parkers in Berlin will have us believe as opposed to our President’s declaration that “No other government has fought corruption as much as this one”. True, there is something rotten in the state of Nigeria, but the debate now is whether there is actually a genuine fight against this disease, or whether we are waiting for God to fight it for us as we watch from afar in the comforts of our private jets.

In my, not-so-humble opinion however, the Executive arm of our government cannot be serious about fighting corruption when they still interfere in the independence of the Judicial arm of our government on a very regular basis as the ongoing Ayo Salami saga shows. Yesterday, the President asked a court to throw out a suit brought by some ne’er do wells challenging the continued suspension of the former(?) president of the Court of Appeal. The question then becomes, since the Executive still plays so much of a role in determining who rises within the Judiciary, is it not only logical that the Judiciary will have a bent towards the will of the Executive? Now consider that many ichafos and etibos within the Executive are accused of not-so-straight-and-narrow dealings, it is no wonder why we have adjournments ad infinitum…

One of said ichafos was in the news yesterday (not a new thing). She was telling participants at the National Economic Jamboree that the new PIB will be the best thing since sliced bread. No, better than sliced bread it appears. Apparently, host communities will be encouraged to participate in the protection of oil and gas infrastructure within their zones. No word of improved schools, hospitals and roads for those host communities. It would appear that the host communities have pre-empted DAM’s thesis and have already decided that although potentially less risky, protection is less valuable than busting the pipes and participating in trade. So we come to the age old question, which is more profitable? A protection racket or import/export? Who can answer? Is it Don Soprano or Don Ohakim?

Import/Export used to be, or still is a good business, but one that is capital intensive. The age-old belief is that you don’t start such businesses with your own money. Remember the movie Other People’s Money? That was a lesson well taken to heart by former Red Cap Number One in Imo state, Don Ikedi Ohakim, who according to his successor “borrowed” N6.4 billions from the state’s treasury a few days before he shuffled out of office. Problem is, he has forgotten to pay back. It’s the economy Rochas, interest never pure. But maybe, just maybe Rochas should stop moaning on the pages of newspapers, and actually complain to the police.

Nigeria’s top olopa is swearing that heads will roll over the attack on the SARS office in Abuja ten days ago. I’m not quite sure of the heads rolling considering that this guy did not know that there was already a law under which Boko Haram terrorists can be prosecuted. Word of advice Mo, talk less. I’d recommend you look out your window towards DHQ on how to handle such situations. The guys in charge in Jaji just the day before were rolled over in double quick time.

In any event, there’s some work for Mr. Abubakar as the wife of an Ogun state lawmaker, fresh from the US where he went to learn more about the noble art of lawmaking, was nabbed. Ostensibly by a few of the 67 million unemployed Nigerian youths.

Bits and bobs

For those who have been having power issues (just about every one of you I guess), there is good news. Egbin is set to come back on board. “Total collapse of our system last week caused the drop in power generation, but we are making efforts to stabilise and generate power at our peak,” harrumphed the chief screwdriver, Mike Uzoigwe while a generator quietly purred away as background vocals.

I was looking for a story about the National Sports Festival on Complete Football, sorry, Complete Sports, but it would appear that the jamboree is not important enough to them, so content yourself with this one about the National Sports Commission, and the defence of the N6.8 billion that will be used for the next round of estacode collection.

Err, this newsletter these days would not be complete without another instalment of the ongoing Ojukwu Will drama. Dim’s second son, Emeka, says that he does not need a will to take over his father’s house. A bit of gist for you, the most senior son, Chukwudebe, the one who wasn’t in the will, was acknowledged in life by the late Dim. Problem is that prolific Dim didn’t know him until after he (Dim) returned to Nigeria from exile. One day a man came up to him to call him “Nna”. Shocked as he was, he’d have inquired from the mother, but she was quite conveniently dead.



Op-ed pieces and contributions are the opinions of the writers only and do not represent the opinions of Y!/YNaija.

Comments (2)

  1. Abeg dt one na their wahala.Congrats Nigerians!! a charming Nigerian by name Mr Charles Ekwonye has won the first Moonlight pictures Hollywood film script competition becoming the first African to ever win it.He has won a $5 million dollars movie sponsorship deal for his movie.Ride on all Nigerian and Nigerians are proud of you.see information at http://www.moonlightpictures.hpage.com/latest news


  2. Nice 1

Leave a reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

cool good eh love2 cute confused notgood numb disgusting fail