Do Nigerians support the single tenure proposal? Find out in this week’s news… with a pinch of salt

by Stanley Azuakola

Nollywood shines again

The countdown is on to the most anticipated event of the year: the release and screening of six new thrillers from the stables of the award winning producer of Iyawo Obama. The event will take place next Sunday at the Silverbird Cinema, Lagos. The movies to be screened include Agbero Gaddafi, Paddy Putin, Omomo Cameron, Sisi Merkel, Bank-Ole and Ashawo Berlusconi. Already, the Silverbird Cinema has turned into a mini-Mecca as ecstatic fans were seen camping at its entrance.


NTA Reporter Axed

NTA reporter, Emma Okondu, has been withdrawn from covering Aso Rock following a blunder in his report on the honour conferred on President Jonathan by the people of Liberia as “Grand Cordon in the most Venerable Order of the Pioneers of the Federal Republic of Liberia.” Emma Okondu’s offence was that he erroneously referred to the award as “Grand Condom in the most Vulnerable Order of the Panniers of the Federal Republic of Blab-area.” As he said it, smatterings of laughter could be heard in the background but it is unclear if the gaffe was intentional.


Senator applauds Governors on Special Advisers

Former governor of Gombe State (and now senator) Danjuma Goje rallied senators to pass a resolution commending state governors for drastically reducing poverty in Nigeria through the appointment of a plethora of special advisers (SAs). He said “In fact these governors should be hailed as fine patriots. I did the same when I was governor of Gombe State. My only regret was not having special advisers in 5special areas.” He listed the areas as: SA on special adviser affairs, SA on brainwashing/mummification of the masses, Chief Praise-Singer, Chief Babalawo and SA on the state of the governor’s mental health.

Nigerians support single tenure

A new Thisday/Ipsos poll has revealed that 99.99percent of Nigerians fully support President Jonathan’s single tenure proposal. They however disagreed with the president on the duration of a term. Majority of respondents believe that the president and governors should not serve for seven years as proposed, but for seven months; while legislators should have single tenure of twelve months. That way, it is believed that the issue of zoning and rotation will not be too painful as every lucky Nigerian could occupy public office at least once in his lifetime.

Crowned Clown of the Week: The CeeCee goes to Dr Ibrahim Datti Ahmed –president of the Supreme Council of Sharia in Nigeria. On the Islamic banking controversy, here’s what Dr Ahmed had to say: “[Islamic banking] has come to be and there is nothing they [Christian clerics] can do about it and if we have to go to war on this, we’ll go to war. We warn the idiots in cassocks, tell them to stop disturbing our peace if they want us to live together in Nigeria. Everybody can go his way; we don’t have to live together… They are rascals and they don’t understand anything because they come from very poor, wretched backgrounds, we are not like that…”

First, A Pinch of N(u)ews commends clerics like Dr Abdul-Lateef Adegbite who’ve openly condemned Dr Ahmed’s absurd diatribe. Every sensible Nigerian, Christian or Muslim knows that inciting talks like that are preludes to the kind of violence the country has witnessed in recent times. No man who fears God and loves his country would spill such bile. To be fair, Dr Ahmed isn’t alone. Some Christian clerics, including the CAN president, have sounded undiplomatic and uncouth in their arguments on the issue; however Dr Ahmed takes the cake. Dr Ahmed’s divisive utterances, unbefitting of a religious leader, earns him the CeeCee this week.

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