.@Ekyshirley: My reality makes me an authority (Y! Superblogger)

by Eky Shirley

Yes, everyday people. And no, I am not about to burst into the popular “Arrested Development” song of the same title. This is a rant of very many different subjects that affect us; make that me (since they are mostly my thoughts anyway). Let’s begin!
Now over the last weekend, I had an interesting conversation with a good friend of mine (and no, I did not friendzone you). He mentioned a certain popular person who kept going on with a chip on her shoulder about a certain sensitive issue and kept sounding like an authority on the said issue; when it happened before her time. Now, I was not in complete dissension with him; the said person comes across the said way sometimes. However, I am of the belief that her reality makes her as good as an authority on the said subject. She, just like you and me are the sum total of our biology, psychology, environment, situations, experiences and circumstances put together. Only she, you or me can adequately describe what it means to be her, you or me.

For example, someone loses a loved one. We all try to sympathize and empathize; ease the person’s pain, make the person a bit comfortable and help them to feel better. But can I truthfully say that I can feel his/her pain at the time? The best I can do to understand how he/she is feeling, is by calling to mind what/how I felt during a similar situation (if it has happened to me). Sometimes, people actually feel worse by the spoken condolences and in such situations, its best you remain mute. Other times, these people need to cry and grieve in order to get over the intense degree of pain and hurt they are experiencing. Yet, we all approach them with words that are supposed to prevent them from the very actions they need to carry out to make them feel better.

Long story short,this is why in my opinion, there are idiomatic expressions in the English language like “the outsider who wailed louder than the bereaved”… Only he who wears the shoes know the exact way it pinches. Thus, my reality makes me an authority on the subject. As does yours.


Op-ed pieces and contributions are the opinions of the writers only and do not represent the opinions of Y!/YNaija.

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