Michel Bastos, a Brazilian MMA fighter, was on her way to her local gym when two incredibly foolish men attempted to make way with her belongings.

Error.

According to a Portuguese-speaking Reddit user, one of the men claimed he did nothing wrong:

“Dad, Dad, I’m going to my dad. Call the police, father. Help! Help! Help, Jesus. Please, I did not rob. Why would I do this? Help. Help. Look at my wallet. Help. Help. Sir, help me. Please don’t show my card. This was the first time. She’s choking me. Where’s my mom? Aie, Aie, Aie. Help! Help! Please, I need my wallet. No, I did not rob anything, no.”

Everyone else was basically saying variations of “Yes, you did.”

Brazilian website Maranhao spoke to Bastos to get the full gist

“I was going to the gym, train. They arrived by bike, just taking my phone. I thought they were friends, but as soon as I realized they were not, I gave a tug on them and dropped the bike. The accomplice ended up taking my phone,” she says. According to the fighter, they wanted popular hit, tie and stab the criminal, options that soon rejected.

Moral of the Story: Don’t try to rob badass women, or anyone at all.