Nanya Konwea: Best friends forever (30 days, 30 voices)

by Nanya Konwea

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 “Believe me, your best friend is one of the few people you can say stuff like “you na big fool” to in a heated argument, yet get on like it didn’t happen.”

“And the annoying thing is,  she’s not even my bestie sef !” *Sharon exclaimed as she ended the gist; to which I laughed harder. Since I was away and missed her wedding, we decided to meet up after her honeymoon; Sharon and I were settled in a booth at a fast food where she proceeded to tell me about her pre-wedding drama. The issue then was with choosing who her maid-of-honour, it was between Sola and Cynthia, two of Sharon’s close friends. Without a second thought, Sharon settled on Sola because she was her best friend until Cynthia mentioned that she had ideas for her dress as maid-of-honour. Oops! “I knew that issue would cause wahala” Sharon had said. In order to avoid the friendship drama she knew would ensue; she told them her mother had suggested Sharon’s younger sister as the maid-of-honour. Drama averted, the wedding went without a hitch. The situation reminded me of the movie ‘Bridesmaids’ where Anne and Helen were in open competition not only to organize Lillian’s bridal festivities but also to be her BFF- the result, a big mess.

The classic best-friend bond — the two special pals who share secrets and exploits, do things together and have each other’s back is one a lot of us can agree we share, or have shared with someone in our lives. Though we never really know when the best friend, bestie or BFF relationship came to be, we all know that naturally, or maybe with some effort, we fast became best friends with our other.

The whole deal with best friends can be rewarding as well as pose trouble to you. A best friend is someone you don’t have to fill in the blanks with; you are so comfortable with that person and can be yourself around him/ her. You can somehow say that you feel connected to her, even when she is in another city or institution. This is someone you can depend on totally, someone who supports you wholly. You definitely can expect your BFF to be honest with you all the time, or at least when it matters. And even when they look you in the eye and tell you the truth, or laugh you to scorn when you’ve made a silly decision before they comfort you, – I do this a lot – you can be sure they have your best interests at heart. One cool thing about a best friend is this; you can get away with anything. Well  almost anything. Believe me, your best friend is one of the few people you can say stuff like “you na big fool” to in a heated argument, yet get on like it didn’t happen.

While it may seem like such close knit relationships are always fun, some people are not sold on the idea of having a best friend and this could be due to the cons. You can agree that the term ‘best friend’ was very important to us growing up – and girls are wont to use it more than boys – but as we get older, we give special relationships different labels. When people get married, they refer to them as their other half, their wife, or husband. It’s sweet when couples say their best friend is their partner, but not all friendships have such happy endings. Humans naturally find themselves forming special friendships, as in the case of having a guy best friend when you are female. The guy you are likely to pick as your best friend would most likely have the qualities you desire in a partner, and then you may end up with a crush on him. Eventually, if you pick a guy worth anything, he’ll get a girlfriend. So the guy you’re mooning over now has an actual girlfriend, not a girl (space) friend, and that sure would mean heartaches for you.

Another downside is the tendency to be very close to more than one person, having them all feel they are your best friends. There is no doubt that having more than one best friend can be a demanding job. Each plays a different role; there’s the fun, party one or the one you can talk to for hours; and this could lead to competition for your attention as in Sharon’s case. Such a bond might prevent a person from making new friends, preventing other opportunities. Despite all these, having a BFF can teach you to live fully, and love truly, faults irrespective – I find it irritating when my best friend has a monologue on a phone call with me, but I love her anyway!

*Names changed so there wouldn’t be any best friends trouble.

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Nanya Konwea is a soon-to-be pharmacist who would love to drive a fire truck someday. Her dreams are quite bigger than her petite frame but when it all gets too much, she just loves to write.

30 Days, 30 Voices series is an opportunity for young Nigerians from across the world to share their stories and experiences – creating a meeting point where our common humanity is explored.

Op-ed pieces and contributions are the opinions of the writers only and do not represent the opinions of Y!/YNaija

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