by Nene Henshaw

I stumbled across a tweet that read

“Lots of women don’t love themselves as much as they think they do”.

… And the reality of this truth had me deeply saddened.

As much as many women like to pose as superwomen with extra strength gifted to them by the gods with their beauty, intellect and boom box, There still exist many struggling with themselves about their importance, not just to their loved ones but to the world.
If you love yourself, there is a limit to the trash you can take.

Forget that “love your neighbour as yourself” rule. “as” is the key word, not “more” or “more than” yourself. So if anyone or any situation isn’t good enough for you, you need to know when to run out.

Money, religion and career aside, a relationship is what most of our existence is based on, relationship with your family, friends, co-workers etc all make a very large part of our happiness and lives as a whole.

When a man makes you feel as if you were no less than a stray dog who is fortunate to be under his wealthy wings, girl you’ve got to go. Some women, in this case, would stay out of “gratitude” and I really don’t get this; this applies to female friends too.

Despite the result of events that occur in that relationship, this woman is still not going to decide that She doesn’t want to be a party to the relationship. She’s going to tear her skin, trying harder because maybe her best wasn’t good enough.

We get so caught up in our emotions and become so weak when we get the smallest ounce of love and we hold onto it as if there’s no more love anywhere else in the world or with another person.

Many women are oblivious to the fact that they are worth it, and to be honest, if the person you’re dealing with does not realise you are worth the effort and time, they really don’t deserve you. It’s not even about labels or titles, it’s about respect and appreciation. It is very important that whoever gets to have you VALUES YOU.

As a woman, you’ll probably take care of everything, the home, the kids, your husband, make that money and manage expenses. You are the support system . You are the prize. You should be impressed and worshipped too. Don’t put pressure on yourself like you’ve got to die trying to keep it together while he does nothing, offers nothing but sex and stress.

You cannot love yourself and take trash from anyone, in the name of love or whatever. You cannot love yourself and settle for less. You cannot love yourself and make up excuses for that excuse of a man.

You cannot love yourself and betray your sister (gotta be scared of karma). You cannot love yourself and try to bring others down to make yourself feel better. You cannot love yourself and let that man abuse you.

This is a wake-up call. We all need to realise that loving ourselves is the most important thing we can do and anyone who cannot do same or gradually makes you love yourself less does not deserve even a tiny bit of space in your life.

“Some people do not deserve your everything. You are priceless so do not act like you can be bargained or cut in half. You are more than that.”

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Nene is an avid learner with a very active imagination, who has a hunger for new knowledge and creativity. She is a fast, innovative and flexible writer. Nene is also a resilient worker who does not to give up until the task is completed. She thrives well under stressful situations, is able to interact and is open to as many views as possible. Nene is conversational in English, Efik, Igbo and Yoruba.