by Century Favour
Note that doesn’t mean you can’t do anything, but it simply means it really going to be tougher for you as a female when compared to your male counterpart.
I was opportune to be a resource person at an IT lecture for young ladies. In preparing for this lecture I stumbled across articles publications that bother around gender equality, Feminism, sexisms etc.
It was my first time in a female only gathering, it turned out to be It an eye opener, I got to see the world from their perspective for a little while, I saw their strength, intelligence and essences in full display.
I have came to the conclusion that the female gender has a lot to offer if given the opportunity they truly deserve.
After this experience I left with the following questions: How can they fight for this opportunity and How should they manage it.
While pondering I came up with the following conclusions, observation and hard truths. Truths that challenges the some deep rooted ideologies that is already in existence. Which I believe need to be tackled if they are excel in their battle for equal rights.
1. Men and Women are not equal:- Most feminist I encounter are well versed about gender equality and they argue that men and women are equal, especially when it comes to intelligence and given that we are in a dispensation where what decides superiority is no longer physical strength but intelligence.
They believe based on this, they should be given equal opportunity, privilege and standing with men. The propagation of this premise has been a major hindrance to the snail like success of gender equality.
It is to be noted, that for two things to be equal they must share the same characteristics. Therefore, this premise holds no water because of the wide difference in the biological make up and type of intelligence exhibited by both genders.
I think a better premise should be “Yes Men and Women are different but are both humans and as such women are entitled to their fundamental human rights, therefore should receive equal treatment unless there is a sound biological reason for a different treatment”. This is what true Gender equality proposes … ” – Excerpts from Wikipedia”.
But on a closer look, this definition harbors a clause which is “unless there is a sound biological reason for a different treatment”. This in my perspective has been the major bone of contention from both sides.
Because in what scenario or occurrences should females be given unequal treatment due to a biological reasons.
Now it is left for women to engage intelligently with the world why there is no biological reason why they should be treated in certain manner in a given scenario, and fight against policies from this perspective instead of fighting their cause with false ideologies such as “Men and women are equal”; “What a man can do a woman can do better”; “Women more are intelligent that men” type of arguments, in general ideologies that have a an aggressive undertone.
This leads me to my next truth.
2. It’s a Man’s world… Deal with it:- During my lecture I bluntly told the women this truth. and I was met with angry stares , but this is not far from the truth. The world is controlled by men, they decide policies, and cultural tenets are mostly influenced by them. They dictate what “beautiful and sexy is”, women constantly seek their approval in regards to their body and identity , This is something that has been going on for ages even before you were born.
And the truth is that there is little you can do.
Note that doesn’t mean you can’t do anything, but it simply means it really going to be tougher for you as a female when compared to your male counterpart. This understanding is necessary because it prevents you from seeing every man as the problem, instead you now see the system and the societal order as the problem, with this knowledge you now know which battles to fight, how to fight them and who to fight. Now talking about how to fight it, leads me to my third observation.
3. The Word “Feminist” needs to be deleted from your dictionary if you really want to be heard more easily :- I get it a feminist means “one who advocates for equal social, political and all other rights of women as equal to those of men.
This definition on its own, is a good one. But over the years this word has had a negative connotation, I think this is because of the way some women in the past went about to advocate for equal rights. The Average man on hearing the word “feminist” see you as the enemy , who is out to attack his place as man in his world, a woman who wants to emasculate him, instead of a woman who is demanding she be treated fairly and equally.
The word “feminist” subconsciously in the mind of a man is synonymous to rebellion, stubbornness, a Man hater and in extreme cases a “woman who has excessive male genes and hates being a woman”. Given the negative connotation it is becoming increasingly difficult for most women to fight for their right under this name or brand. Because of the invincible mental barrier that is immediately put up in the mind of a man when this word is mentioned.
I think the world “feminist” should be replaced with “modern woman” or “Woman Activist” or something cooler “Because the way you are perceived is the way you will be addressed.” This leads me to my next truth.
4. A “Modern educated woman” is not synonymous to b__chy, stubborn, aggressive, overbearing controlling, and domineering:-
A trend I have discovered lately is that majority of women who are presently enjoying the freedom and opportunity that was fought for in blood and tears by women of old, is that they are presently abusing this freedom due to a myopic mindset and there ungrounded understanding of gender equality. They tend to see every contact with man as a battle for superiority, and they find joy in emasculating men, they can go to any length to try to prove an unnecessary point, just to prove that they are strong. This has lead to high divorce rates, and the slow progress rate, gender equality has experienced in the past 20 years and a host of other ills.
Such women are rarely taken seriously in the society, especially by their male counterparts.
“The truth is that no Gender is superior to the other, or inferior to the other, but instead they complement each other” Until both genders understand this. We’ll keep fighting the wrong battles and getting no results.
This truth can make her understand that the reason a man is called head of the home is not to make you as a woman feel inferior but because he is well suited physical and mentally for this role given Our Present society, she will therefore look for ways to support him in his role instead of trying to contended with him,
Also the man gets to understand that even tho he is the head, his wife is partner and closest aide not a slave or punching bag and therefore should be treated with love, care and respect.
Also, that a woman been your boss or president doesn’t emasculate you as a man, because for her to be there she has proved with out doubt she got what it takes to rule.
I think a “Modern educated woman” is a woman who loves being a woman, believes her femininity is an asset, she is educated and know her right as a woman, and she fights for this rights respectfully, fairly and diplomatically.
On a final Note: Treat Men with respect they respond to it more. You don’t have to be aggressive to get heard, diplomacy should be your best friend. Approach men with sound logic they respond to that more than emotions or guilt. Never directly threaten or question a man authority or attack his ego, instead try to make him understand where you are coming from.
Disclaimer: This is solely my opinion and not a true representation of the entire male population. I stand to be corrected.
Century E. Favor tweets from @centuryefavour
Op-ed pieces and contributions are the opinions of the writers only and do not represent the opinions of Y!/YNaija.