SK Johnson: Someone, please arrest Uche Jombo

by Sk Johnson

uche_jombo

…or at least keep her far away from any objects that can be used in the removal of male genitalia.

“I will castrate him”.

The above four words are part of a, to put it one way, interesting reply Nollywood actress Uche Jombo gave to a reporter from The Sun when asked how she would react to her husband cheating. Excuse me while I shudder. According to the Jumbo Uche (excuse the poor attempt at a pun; work with me here)  “there is no excuse to cheat.” Well, this is true, depending on who you ask. I mean there are some who would say cheating is only natural and monogamy isn’t in our design as a species but that’s just by the way, and I’d advise such people to stay far away from Madam Jombo because clearly she has no patience for your kind.

She also goes on to say, “It’s either you are with someone or not,” which makes sense too. “And if you are tired of such person, please accord the decency of respecting who they are and their feelings, don’t go making someone look stupid because there is no excuse,” logical, right? and of course, “the problem with me is there are no in-betweens.”

All of this is all well and good, really. I mean I would never cheat on a partner and it isn’t something I’d enjoy either, even though I would be very forgiving, seeing as I’m a spineless maga nice guy and all. That said, is any of this really cause for such harsh measures as castration?

Let’s get it clear, for any confused ones out there:

cas·trate  (kstrt)

tr.v.cas·trat·ed, cas·trat·ing, cas·trates

1. To remove the testicles of (a male); geld or emasculate.
2. To remove the ovaries of (a female); spay.
3. To deprive of virility or spirit; emasculate.
That’s right. Uche Jombo would genuinely cut off the testicles of her husband for cheating. Guys, seriously, is this fair? Should a woman really be allowed to roam the streets, much less act in movies (and even that ‘acting’ sef, I could say a few choice words about it,) after declaring herself capable of such a horrific act? I’m sorry, but no. Uche Jombo should be locked up and kept far away from men for such a terrible statement. I can’t be walking the streets in fear that Uche Jombo might just pop out of a corner with a pair of scissors, ready to snip off my family jewels at any moment. Granted I’m not her husband and even if I were, I wouldn’t cheat on her after a warning like this but that’s really beside the point right now.
The point is, lock Uche Jombo up now. For the safety of our testicles.
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– Parts of this article may or may not have been meant as a joke, in varying percentages. I am, however, 100% against the castration of men.

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Comments (2)

  1. Johnson leave Uche alone now. Why do you have to re-echoe it endlessly ? She just voiced out her feelings ! If you are interested in her, be a man enough to apply formally.

  2. Silly as always SK! Are u her husband?

cool good eh love2 cute confused notgood numb disgusting fail