Temitope Shittu-Alamu: A girl’s romance with her Blackberry

by Temitope Shittu-Alamu

All through the journey, she is in constant romance with her bold5, hugging it softly with her 8fingers and swiping the screen with 2.

On a Monday morning she’s perfect. Or well almost. Her make up finishing is smooth, and the pink blush sits in her face very gorgeously . Visible from a 100km distance her polka dotted blouse is elegant, with a little bib by the neck line. Her perfume glides all the way to the end of the street

Her hair is in the best updo possible. She has spent 40mins before the mirror trying to make it look like Salma Hayek’s. And ohhhh the red lips, the signature red lips. She walks weirdly but “majestically” in 6inch shoes to the road side, and with all the swagger of a KLM air hostess hails a cab, like a true Abuja babe.

She’s not one to haggle over price. She just gets in the back seat and says “take me to Maitama”, like her dad owns the district. All through the journey, she is in constant romance with her bold5, hugging it softly with her 8fingers and swiping the screen with 2. Like a professional woman going through her mail and itinerary, she heads straight for twitter. She is full of respect, even on Social media so her first tweet; “top of the morning to y’all.”  She sequels that with “imagine I forgot my iPhone at home” Next she takes a pouty picture in the most ah-mazing pose ever, never mind that the taxi man’s umbrella is making an appearance in the back somewhere. She can see that a “national burning issue” is trending. I mean, Omojuwa has just lost his iPad but who cares, who dares take the shine off madmoiselle.  So she twitpics a photo of the burger she had like 4months ago, and says “who wants breakfast.”  She’s about to tell you about some random dude on her BBM contact list but she looks up and realises she’s already in Maitama. So she quickly updates; “BIS going soon :(”

*insert brunch, free lunch, and free BIS subscription here.

I personally can not tell you what she has been up to all day, all I know is that she has accomplished some goals. Yeah, some very major goals. She can tick her mental itinerary and heave a sigh of relief.

Now she’s going home, but she isn’t in a taxi. Her lips are no more red. And the smooth makeup has become errrrm pan cake!!! Her hair is all over the place, but her perfume is still on point sha. Then the shoes? Oh she’s now wearing slippers, the shoes sitting by her at a roadside restaurant. She’s prudent and trying to save money. So that random dude that she was gonna tell you about is coming to pick her in his red car.

Just as he approaches, and she sights him, she starts to put her stuff together. As a sure boy, he asks; So how did your day go? With the loudest yawn she replies and duplicates on her BBM status; ohhhh what a tiring day…

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Op-ed pieces and contributions are the opinions of the writers only and do not represent the opinions of Y!/YNaija.

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Comments (5)

  1. very hilarious. Loool! be open say whats in ur heart!

  2. Lolll. There's such a thing called fiction you know? Power of imagination:p it never happened. Or did it? Hehehe

  3. Lol! Soo a typical girls day…so talk true? What day was this? *raised eye*

  4. Lovely piece….ace!

cool good eh love2 cute confused notgood numb disgusting fail