by Anna Breslaw
Remember in our early twenties when we gave a crap about looking like we had “food babies”? Yeah, me neither really.
1. Age 1 – 4
What are toes?
2. Age 5 – 9
I love not having any clothes on! Why can’t I walk around naked outside? Why do I have to wear this dress? Yes, take a ton of embarrassing pictures of me prancing around the house butt-ass-naked! I’m the queeeeeEEEEEN.
3. Age 10 – 13
Every time I take my clothes off I see some new weird thing that has only vaguely been explained to me. I guess this is why my mom left that Your Body Is Changing, Girlfriend! Now Go Be A Woman!book on my bed and we never spoke of it again. Why do things have to change? Also STOP CALLING THEM BREAST BUDS. I’m confused.
4. Age 13 – 16
How can Jaime Goldberg just like, pirouette around the locker room naked when the rest of us are doing the patented teenage girl change-without-showing-any-private-body-parts shuffle? Is it because her name has an “I” in the wrong place? Her body isn’t weird and lumpy like mine. I think I’ve seen her boobs more than I’ve seen my own boobs.
5. Age 17 – 18
Mike has never seen me totally naked but he has been pawing at my bra for the last 40 minutes so I think it’s time to go for it. I am freeeeeaking outtttt. Here is my vagina! Being seen by a person who is not my mom. He is kind of looking at it the way you’d look at an alien, but an awesome alien that gives you free pizza. I can’t believe the effect my total nakedness has on him! I feel like Cleopatra or Courtney Stodden or something. I could get used to this.
6. Age 18 – 21
Wow, everyone at college is basically Jaime Goldberg. I guess boobs in the girls’ shower/bathroom area is no big thing. So I’ll just go do it and then walk back to my dorm room with my little waterproof basket of loofahs and stuff like a PIIIIIIMP. Also, about 17 guys have seen me naked since Welcome Week, and none of them have complained.
7. Age 22 – 23
He’s gonna see the food baby. Why did I eat that burrito? Why couldn’t I have gotten a salad made of air and tears?
8. Age 24
Oh, right, because burritos are delicious and I would like to enjoy my life.
9. Age 25 – 26
Dude. This is the best I’m probably ever going to look. Those communal dressing rooms at Loehmann’s don’t even bother me. **Flawless.
10. Age 27 – 30
Am I drooping? Oh, screw it, who cares.
—————————————
Read more in Cosmopolitan
Op-ed pieces and contributions are the opinions of the writers only and do not represent the opinions of Y!/YNaija.
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NOTICE:
ANNOUNCEMENT TO THE GENERAL PUBLIC THAT NIGERIA CUSTOMS SERVICE IMPOUNDED CARS AND TRUCKS VEHICLES ARE AVAILABLE FOR AUCTIONS AND SALES 2014.
CUSTOM OFFICE LINE +2348067515614.
HERE IS A LIFETIME OPPORTUNITY FOR INDIVIDIALS AND CITIZENS OF NIGERIA, NEW TOKUNBO VEHICLES FOR AUCTION, AUCTION DEPARTMENT OF THE NIGERIA CUSTOM SERVICE (NCS) WAREHOUSES AT LAGOS STATE, NIGERIA. THIS VEHICLES WERE IMPOUNDED BY THE NIGERIA CUSTOM SERVICE (NCS) DUE TO ILLEGAL IMPORTATION INTO THE COUNTRY.
THEY ARE READILY AVAILABLE AT A GIVEN AWAY PRICES..IF YOU ARE INTERESTED IN OWNING A VERY SOUND VEHICLE AT A CHEAPER RATE:-
RATING FROM #200,000 ABOVE. THIS IS A GREAT OPPORTUNITY FOR INDIVIDUALS TO GET A SOUND VEHICLE AT A CHEAPER RATE. WAITING DEMAND BY CLEARANCE,INTERESTED BUYERS ARE TO ORDER FOR VEHICLE REGISTRATION AND HAVING THE NECESSARY DOCUMENTATION FOR CLEARANCE. VEHICLE REGISTRATION REQUIREMENT ARE AS FOLLOW:
1. NATIONAL .I.D.CARD.
2. LOCAL GOVERNMENT OF ORIGIN.
3. BIRTH CERTIFICATE.
4. DRIVING LICENSE.
5. TWO PHOTOGRAPH PASSPORT.
CONTACT THE GENERAL MARKETING MANAGER
NAME: DR .D.A. CHARLES. ON CONTACT NUMBER: +2348067515614.
EMAIL ADDRESS:-Nigeriacustomservice.gov@auctioneer.net
CARS FEATURES BELOW:-
PRICES OF SOME TOKUNBO TOYOTA VEHICLES:-
TOYOTA HIGHLANDER =N900,000.
TOYOTA PRADO =N900,000.
TOYOTA COROLLA =N620,000.
TOYOTA CAMRY =FROM =N450,000 -TO- N900,000.
TOYOTA AVENSIS =FROM =N580,000 =TO =N1.m.
TOYOTA YARIS =N460,000.
TOYOTA AVANZA =N410,000.
TOYOTA RAV4 SUV =N550,000.
TOYOTA HILUX PICK UP =N970,000.
TOYOTA DYNA TRUCK =N985,000.
TOYOTA HIACE BUS =N850,000.
TOYOTA COASTER BUS 32 SEATERS =N900,000.
TOYOTA MATRIX =N500,000.
TOYOTA LAND CRUISER =N900,000.
TOYOTA SIENNA =N800,000.
TOYOTA 4RUNNER =N600,000.
TOYOTA RANGE ROVER =N1.5M.
TOYOTA AVALON =N520,000.
PRICES OF SOME PEUGEOT VEHICLES:-
PEUGEUT C230 =N500,000.
C300 =N600,000.
PRICES OF SOME HONDA VEHICLES.
HONDA CIVIC CARS =N600,000.
HONDA ACCORD =N400,000.
HONDA CR-V =N650,000.
HONDA ODYSSEY =N400,000.
HONDA PILOT =N750,000.
PRICES OF SOME NISSAN VEHICLES:-
NISSAN SUNNY SEDAN =N550,000.
NISSAN PETROL SUV =N800,000.
NISSAN PATHFINDER SUV =N700,000.
NISSAN CIVILIAN 30
SEATER BUS =N850,000 NISSAN ALTIMAH =N700,000.
NISSAN MORANO =N600,000.
NISSAN XTERA =N570,000.
AUDI Q7 =N350,000.
AUDI 80 =N400,000.
GOLF 2,3,4 =N215,000
TO =N350,000.
AND LOTS MORE OF VEHICLES.
MODEL/YEAR OF
MANUFACTURE……….1999 t0 2014
INTERIOR, LEATHER AND FABRIC
AC…..CHILLING FACTORY AC
WHEEL….GOOD TYRE, ALLOY WHEEL….CALL THE GENERAL MARKETING MANAGER DR
.D.A. CHARLES ON +2348067515614. FOR MORE ENQUIRIES TO PLACE A DEMAND OF YOUR CHOICE.
NOTICE:
ANNOUNCEMENT TO THE GENERAL PUBLIC THAT NIGERIA CUSTOMS SERVICE IMPOUNDED CARS AND TRUCKS VEHICLES ARE AVAILABLE FOR AUCTIONS AND SALES 2014.
CUSTOM OFFICE LINE +2348067515614.
HERE IS A LIFETIME OPPORTUNITY FOR INDIVIDIALS AND CITIZENS OF NIGERIA, NEW TOKUNBO VEHICLES FOR AUCTION, AUCTION DEPARTMENT OF THE NIGERIA CUSTOM SERVICE (NCS) WAREHOUSES AT LAGOS STATE, NIGERIA. THIS VEHICLES WERE IMPOUNDED BY THE NIGERIA CUSTOM SERVICE (NCS) DUE TO ILLEGAL IMPORTATION INTO THE COUNTRY.
THEY ARE READILY AVAILABLE AT A GIVEN AWAY PRICES..IF YOU ARE INTERESTED IN OWNING A VERY SOUND VEHICLE AT A CHEAPER RATE:-
RATING FROM #200,000 ABOVE. THIS IS A GREAT OPPORTUNITY FOR INDIVIDUALS TO GET A SOUND VEHICLE AT A CHEAPER RATE. WAITING DEMAND BY CLEARANCE,INTERESTED BUYERS ARE TO ORDER FOR VEHICLE REGISTRATION AND HAVING THE NECESSARY DOCUMENTATION FOR CLEARANCE. VEHICLE REGISTRATION REQUIREMENT ARE AS FOLLOW:
1. NATIONAL .I.D.CARD.
2. LOCAL GOVERNMENT OF ORIGIN.
3. BIRTH CERTIFICATE.
4. DRIVING LICENSE.
5. TWO PHOTOGRAPH PASSPORT.
CONTACT THE GENERAL MARKETING MANAGER
NAME: DR .D.A. CHARLES. ON CONTACT NUMBER: +2348067515614.
EMAIL ADDRESS:-Nigeriacustomservice.gov@auctioneer.net
CARS FEATURES BELOW:-
PRICES OF SOME TOKUNBO TOYOTA VEHICLES:-
TOYOTA HIGHLANDER =N900,000.
TOYOTA PRADO =N900,000.
TOYOTA COROLLA =N620,000.
TOYOTA CAMRY =FROM =N450,000 -TO- N900,000.
TOYOTA AVENSIS =FROM =N580,000 =TO =N1.m.
TOYOTA YARIS =N460,000.
TOYOTA AVANZA =N410,000.
TOYOTA RAV4 SUV =N550,000.
TOYOTA HILUX PICK UP =N970,000.
TOYOTA DYNA TRUCK =N985,000.
TOYOTA HIACE BUS =N850,000.
TOYOTA COASTER BUS 32 SEATERS =N900,000.
TOYOTA MATRIX =N500,000.
TOYOTA LAND CRUISER =N900,000.
TOYOTA SIENNA =N800,000.
TOYOTA 4RUNNER =N600,000.
TOYOTA RANGE ROVER =N1.5M.
TOYOTA AVALON =N520,000.
PRICES OF SOME PEUGEOT VEHICLES:-
PEUGEUT C230 =N500,000.
C300 =N600,000.
PRICES OF SOME HONDA VEHICLES.
HONDA CIVIC CARS =N600,000.
HONDA ACCORD =N400,000.
HONDA CR-V =N650,000.
HONDA ODYSSEY =N400,000.
HONDA PILOT =N750,000.
PRICES OF SOME NISSAN VEHICLES:-
NISSAN SUNNY SEDAN =N550,000.
NISSAN PETROL SUV =N800,000.
NISSAN PATHFINDER SUV =N700,000.
NISSAN CIVILIAN 30
SEATER BUS =N850,000 NISSAN ALTIMAH =N700,000.
NISSAN MORANO =N600,000.
NISSAN XTERA =N570,000.
AUDI Q7 =N350,000.
AUDI 80 =N400,000.
GOLF 2,3,4 =N215,000
TO =N350,000.
AND LOTS MORE OF VEHICLES.
MODEL/YEAR OF
MANUFACTURE……….1999 t0 2014
INTERIOR, LEATHER AND FABRIC
AC…..CHILLING FACTORY AC
WHEEL….GOOD TYRE, ALLOY WHEEL….CALL THE GENERAL MARKETING MANAGER DR
.D.A. CHARLES ON +2348067515614. FOR MORE ENQUIRIES TO PLACE A DEMAND OF YOUR CHOICE.
NOTICE:
ANNOUNCEMENT TO THE GENERAL PUBLIC THAT NIGERIA CUSTOMS SERVICE IMPOUNDED CARS AND TRUCKS VEHICLES ARE AVAILABLE FOR AUCTIONS AND SALES 2014.
CUSTOM OFFICE LINE +2348067515614.
HERE IS A LIFETIME OPPORTUNITY FOR INDIVIDIALS AND CITIZENS OF NIGERIA, NEW TOKUNBO VEHICLES FOR AUCTION, AUCTION DEPARTMENT OF THE NIGERIA CUSTOM SERVICE (NCS) WAREHOUSES AT LAGOS STATE, NIGERIA. THIS VEHICLES WERE IMPOUNDED BY THE NIGERIA CUSTOM SERVICE (NCS) DUE TO ILLEGAL IMPORTATION INTO THE COUNTRY.
THEY ARE READILY AVAILABLE AT A GIVEN AWAY PRICES..IF YOU ARE INTERESTED IN OWNING A VERY SOUND VEHICLE AT A CHEAPER RATE:-
RATING FROM #200,000 ABOVE. THIS IS A GREAT OPPORTUNITY FOR INDIVIDUALS TO GET A SOUND VEHICLE AT A CHEAPER RATE. WAITING DEMAND BY CLEARANCE,INTERESTED BUYERS ARE TO ORDER FOR VEHICLE REGISTRATION AND HAVING THE NECESSARY DOCUMENTATION FOR CLEARANCE. VEHICLE REGISTRATION REQUIREMENT ARE AS FOLLOW:
1. NATIONAL .I.D.CARD.
2. LOCAL GOVERNMENT OF ORIGIN.
3. BIRTH CERTIFICATE.
4. DRIVING LICENSE.
5. TWO PHOTOGRAPH PASSPORT.
CONTACT THE GENERAL MARKETING MANAGER
NAME: DR .D.A. CHARLES. ON CONTACT NUMBER: +2348067515614.
EMAIL ADDRESS:-Nigeriacustomservice.gov@auctioneer.net
CARS FEATURES BELOW:-
PRICES OF SOME TOKUNBO TOYOTA VEHICLES:-
TOYOTA HIGHLANDER =N900,000.
TOYOTA PRADO =N900,000.
TOYOTA COROLLA =N620,000.
TOYOTA CAMRY =FROM =N450,000 -TO- N900,000.
TOYOTA AVENSIS =FROM =N580,000 =TO =N1.m.
TOYOTA YARIS =N460,000.
TOYOTA AVANZA =N410,000.
TOYOTA RAV4 SUV =N550,000.
TOYOTA HILUX PICK UP =N970,000.
TOYOTA DYNA TRUCK =N985,000.
TOYOTA HIACE BUS =N850,000.
TOYOTA COASTER BUS 32 SEATERS =N900,000.
TOYOTA MATRIX =N500,000.
TOYOTA LAND CRUISER =N900,000.
TOYOTA SIENNA =N800,000.
TOYOTA 4RUNNER =N600,000.
TOYOTA RANGE ROVER =N1.5M.
TOYOTA AVALON =N520,000.
PRICES OF SOME PEUGEOT VEHICLES:-
PEUGEUT C230 =N500,000.
C300 =N600,000.
PRICES OF SOME HONDA VEHICLES.
HONDA CIVIC CARS =N600,000.
HONDA ACCORD =N400,000.
HONDA CR-V =N650,000.
HONDA ODYSSEY =N400,000.
HONDA PILOT =N750,000.
PRICES OF SOME NISSAN VEHICLES:-
NISSAN SUNNY SEDAN =N550,000.
NISSAN PETROL SUV =N800,000.
NISSAN PATHFINDER SUV =N700,000.
NISSAN CIVILIAN 30
SEATER BUS =N850,000 NISSAN ALTIMAH =N700,000.
NISSAN MORANO =N600,000.
NISSAN XTERA =N570,000.
AUDI Q7 =N350,000.
AUDI 80 =N400,000.
GOLF 2,3,4 =N215,000
TO =N350,000.
AND LOTS MORE OF VEHICLES.
MODEL/YEAR OF
MANUFACTURE……….1999 t0 2014
INTERIOR, LEATHER AND FABRIC
AC…..CHILLING FACTORY AC
WHEEL….GOOD TYRE, ALLOY WHEEL….CALL THE GENERAL MARKETING MANAGER DR
.D.A. CHARLES ON +2348067515614. FOR MORE ENQUIRIES TO PLACE A DEMAND OF YOUR CHOICE.
NOTICE:
ANNOUNCEMENT TO THE GENERAL PUBLIC THAT NIGERIA CUSTOMS SERVICE IMPOUNDED CARS AND TRUCKS VEHICLES ARE AVAILABLE FOR AUCTIONS AND SALES 2014.
CUSTOM OFFICE LINE +2348067515614.
HERE IS A LIFETIME OPPORTUNITY FOR INDIVIDIALS AND CITIZENS OF NIGERIA, NEW TOKUNBO VEHICLES FOR AUCTION, AUCTION DEPARTMENT OF THE NIGERIA CUSTOM SERVICE (NCS) WAREHOUSES AT LAGOS STATE, NIGERIA. THIS VEHICLES WERE IMPOUNDED BY THE NIGERIA CUSTOM SERVICE (NCS) DUE TO ILLEGAL IMPORTATION INTO THE COUNTRY.
THEY ARE READILY AVAILABLE AT A GIVEN AWAY PRICES..IF YOU ARE INTERESTED IN OWNING A VERY SOUND VEHICLE AT A CHEAPER RATE:-
RATING FROM #200,000 ABOVE. THIS IS A GREAT OPPORTUNITY FOR INDIVIDUALS TO GET A SOUND VEHICLE AT A CHEAPER RATE. WAITING DEMAND BY CLEARANCE,INTERESTED BUYERS ARE TO ORDER FOR VEHICLE REGISTRATION AND HAVING THE NECESSARY DOCUMENTATION FOR CLEARANCE. VEHICLE REGISTRATION REQUIREMENT ARE AS FOLLOW:
1. NATIONAL .I.D.CARD.
2. LOCAL GOVERNMENT OF ORIGIN.
3. BIRTH CERTIFICATE.
4. DRIVING LICENSE.
5. TWO PHOTOGRAPH PASSPORT.
CONTACT THE GENERAL MARKETING MANAGER
NAME: DR .D.A. CHARLES. ON CONTACT NUMBER: +2348067515614.
EMAIL ADDRESS:-Nigeriacustomservice.gov@auctioneer.net
CARS FEATURES BELOW:-
PRICES OF SOME TOKUNBO TOYOTA VEHICLES:-
TOYOTA HIGHLANDER =N900,000.
TOYOTA PRADO =N900,000.
TOYOTA COROLLA =N620,000.
TOYOTA CAMRY =FROM =N450,000 -TO- N900,000.
TOYOTA AVENSIS =FROM =N580,000 =TO =N1.m.
TOYOTA YARIS =N460,000.
TOYOTA AVANZA =N410,000.
TOYOTA RAV4 SUV =N550,000.
TOYOTA HILUX PICK UP =N970,000.
TOYOTA DYNA TRUCK =N985,000.
TOYOTA HIACE BUS =N850,000.
TOYOTA COASTER BUS 32 SEATERS =N900,000.
TOYOTA MATRIX =N500,000.
TOYOTA LAND CRUISER =N900,000.
TOYOTA SIENNA =N800,000.
TOYOTA 4RUNNER =N600,000.
TOYOTA RANGE ROVER =N1.5M.
TOYOTA AVALON =N520,000.
PRICES OF SOME PEUGEOT VEHICLES:-
PEUGEUT C230 =N500,000.
C300 =N600,000.
PRICES OF SOME HONDA VEHICLES.
HONDA CIVIC CARS =N600,000.
HONDA ACCORD =N400,000.
HONDA CR-V =N650,000.
HONDA ODYSSEY =N400,000.
HONDA PILOT =N750,000.
PRICES OF SOME NISSAN VEHICLES:-
NISSAN SUNNY SEDAN =N550,000.
NISSAN PETROL SUV =N800,000.
NISSAN PATHFINDER SUV =N700,000.
NISSAN CIVILIAN 30
SEATER BUS =N850,000 NISSAN ALTIMAH =N700,000.
NISSAN MORANO =N600,000.
NISSAN XTERA =N570,000.
AUDI Q7 =N350,000.
AUDI 80 =N400,000.
GOLF 2,3,4 =N215,000
TO =N350,000.
AND LOTS MORE OF VEHICLES.
MODEL/YEAR OF
MANUFACTURE……….1999 t0 2014
INTERIOR, LEATHER AND FABRIC
AC…..CHILLING FACTORY AC
WHEEL….GOOD TYRE, ALLOY WHEEL….CALL THE GENERAL MARKETING MANAGER DR
.D.A. CHARLES ON +2348067515614. FOR MORE ENQUIRIES TO PLACE A DEMAND OF YOUR CHOICE.
NOTICE:
ANNOUNCEMENT TO THE GENERAL PUBLIC THAT NIGERIA CUSTOMS SERVICE IMPOUNDED CARS AND TRUCKS VEHICLES ARE AVAILABLE FOR AUCTIONS AND SALES 2014.
CUSTOM OFFICE LINE +2348067515614.
HERE IS A LIFETIME OPPORTUNITY FOR INDIVIDIALS AND CITIZENS OF NIGERIA, NEW TOKUNBO VEHICLES FOR AUCTION, AUCTION DEPARTMENT OF THE NIGERIA CUSTOM SERVICE (NCS) WAREHOUSES AT LAGOS STATE, NIGERIA. THIS VEHICLES WERE IMPOUNDED BY THE NIGERIA CUSTOM SERVICE (NCS) DUE TO ILLEGAL IMPORTATION INTO THE COUNTRY.
THEY ARE READILY AVAILABLE AT A GIVEN AWAY PRICES..IF YOU ARE INTERESTED IN OWNING A VERY SOUND VEHICLE AT A CHEAPER RATE:-
RATING FROM #200,000 ABOVE. THIS IS A GREAT OPPORTUNITY FOR INDIVIDUALS TO GET A SOUND VEHICLE AT A CHEAPER RATE. WAITING DEMAND BY CLEARANCE,INTERESTED BUYERS ARE TO ORDER FOR VEHICLE REGISTRATION AND HAVING THE NECESSARY DOCUMENTATION FOR CLEARANCE. VEHICLE REGISTRATION REQUIREMENT ARE AS FOLLOW:
1. NATIONAL .I.D.CARD.
2. LOCAL GOVERNMENT OF ORIGIN.
3. BIRTH CERTIFICATE.
4. DRIVING LICENSE.
5. TWO PHOTOGRAPH PASSPORT.
CONTACT THE GENERAL MARKETING MANAGER
NAME: DR .D.A. CHARLES. ON CONTACT NUMBER: +2348067515614.
EMAIL ADDRESS:-Nigeriacustomservice.gov@auctioneer.net
CARS FEATURES BELOW:-
PRICES OF SOME TOKUNBO TOYOTA VEHICLES:-
TOYOTA HIGHLANDER =N900,000.
TOYOTA PRADO =N900,000.
TOYOTA COROLLA =N620,000.
TOYOTA CAMRY =FROM =N450,000 -TO- N900,000.
TOYOTA AVENSIS =FROM =N580,000 =TO =N1.m.
TOYOTA YARIS =N460,000.
TOYOTA AVANZA =N410,000.
TOYOTA RAV4 SUV =N550,000.
TOYOTA HILUX PICK UP =N970,000.
TOYOTA DYNA TRUCK =N985,000.
TOYOTA HIACE BUS =N850,000.
TOYOTA COASTER BUS 32 SEATERS =N900,000.
TOYOTA MATRIX =N500,000.
TOYOTA LAND CRUISER =N900,000.
TOYOTA SIENNA =N800,000.
TOYOTA 4RUNNER =N600,000.
TOYOTA RANGE ROVER =N1.5M.
TOYOTA AVALON =N520,000.
PRICES OF SOME PEUGEOT VEHICLES:-
PEUGEUT C230 =N500,000.
C300 =N600,000.
PRICES OF SOME HONDA VEHICLES.
HONDA CIVIC CARS =N600,000.
HONDA ACCORD =N400,000.
HONDA CR-V =N650,000.
HONDA ODYSSEY =N400,000.
HONDA PILOT =N750,000.
PRICES OF SOME NISSAN VEHICLES:-
NISSAN SUNNY SEDAN =N550,000.
NISSAN PETROL SUV =N800,000.
NISSAN PATHFINDER SUV =N700,000.
NISSAN CIVILIAN 30
SEATER BUS =N850,000 NISSAN ALTIMAH =N700,000.
NISSAN MORANO =N600,000.
NISSAN XTERA =N570,000.
AUDI Q7 =N350,000.
AUDI 80 =N400,000.
GOLF 2,3,4 =N215,000
TO =N350,000.
AND LOTS MORE OF VEHICLES.
MODEL/YEAR OF
MANUFACTURE……….1999 t0 2014
INTERIOR, LEATHER AND FABRIC
AC…..CHILLING FACTORY AC
WHEEL….GOOD TYRE, ALLOY WHEEL….CALL THE GENERAL MARKETING MANAGER DR
.D.A. CHARLES ON +2348067515614. FOR MORE ENQUIRIES TO PLACE A DEMAND OF YOUR CHOICE.