So podcasts have become a thing in Nigeria, and we on The Sexuality Blog have even mentioned podcasts like Now “O’ Clock podcast and the We Just Got Back Podcast (WJGB) have used the power of the internet to tackle important questions of sex and sexuality and politics and gender as it affects young people and would never be allowed to discussed on public radio. When it was announced that M.I. Abaga and two of his label mates, April Maey and Loose Kaynon were teaming up to start a podcast, I was a little excited. M.I. has always presented himself as a thought leader, and I thought this would be a great way for him to use his influence to mobilise young people into caring more about the issues in our country.

The last thing I expected to hear, however, and from a respected person like rapper, social activist and son of a pastor M.I. Abaga, is unabashed, ignorant rape apologist arguments. Like literally, my jaw is still on the floor. But first some context.

So this week, as it happens every few years, the Internet just erupted yet again with news of Robert Kelly, and his whole rap sheet of paedophilia, sexual manipulation and rape against young black women. R.Kelly, who turns 50 this year, has been repeatedly accused over the last 27 years of ‘grooming’ underaged girls and enticing them into sexual relationships, separating them from their families, sexually assaulting them, making them perform sexual acts on other women and men in terms that have been deemed non-consensual and ‘punishing’ them for refusing to obey. Many, many women who grew up in Chicago (the city where R.Kelly grew up) have reported personally experiencing him drive to their schools to try to lure teenage girls into having sex with him. R.Kelly is the worst kind of pervert, he is the one who isolates and targets the most vulnerable.

His most recent scandal resulted from R.Kelly being investigated by the FBI for practices that can be deemed torturous to young women. On the very first episode of Middle Ground, on his podcast, they bring up the issue of R.Kelly’s sexual misconduct, and M.I. says and I quote,

“Everybody that is ‘hating’, every guy is like ‘what is the blue print for this…”

What is the blueprint for gaslighting and emotionally manipulating young women into relationships where they have no financial independence, lack access to their families and friends and support systems and are totally at the mercy of the man. Then M.I. suggests that a couple that engage in consensual BDSM (which is nothing to be ashamed of) is the same as Robert Kelly who started grooming Aaliyah when she was 12, and married her at 14 when he was 27, 13 years her senior. He says that he (and by extension) we do not know the details of R.Kelly’s agreements with these women and such we should not ‘judge’.

If M.I. Abaga had taken just 30 minutes to read on R.Kelly’s sexual history, which is available everywhere on the internet, he would know that R.Kelly has settled several civil cases out of court, settling meaning he was found guilty of sexual crimes and forced by the courts to settle his victims.

There were no agreements, these women were all underaged when R.Kelly started grooming them, they were in no position to give up their rights to him.

The Nigerian music industry, as is most music industries around the world, is DOMINATED by men who use their power and influence to emotionally manipulate women into sexual relationships with them. We know it is distasteful and sometimes downright disgusting, but we allow it because at least they do this with women who are already adults when these relationships start. But R.Kelly has consistently targeted minors. This is not speculation, it is fact.

People like M.I. and Loose Kaynon, who pretend to care for the victims of these crimes but still excuse the perperators, accused and convicted multiple times, because they don’t know ‘all the details’ are a huge part of the reason this behaviour continues. They don’t hold themselves accountable or the men around them. I am sick and tired of it.

M.I. Abaga, allowing my boyfriend/girlfriend tie me up, is not the same thing as a 50-year-old man trying to sleep with a 17-year-old girl. It is not even remotely the same thing. Your fans need you to educate yourself if you are going to speak on matters this volatile and delicate or don’t speak at all. You’ve been quiet for years, and we were all just fine. So please, learn your facts or keep your rape apologist opinions away from us.

Editor