Every day on the Nigerian Internet, there are people who keep our eyes glued to our phone screens as we read their rants, opinions, perspectives on political and social matters, etc.

Sometimes, they are just downright ridiculous. We make it our job to take down the names of these noisemakers.

Two major events took place today and they shapened discourse on the Nigerian Online Parliament – Senate President, Bukola Saraki’s World Press Conference and Senator Godswill Akpabio’s defection to the All Progressives Congress (APC) from the Peoples’ Democratic Party (PDP). Let’s go!

 

1. Gimba Kakanda

I know a lot of you don’t know the Senate President, Bukola Saraki, beyond the media. He seems like a normal person, but if you’ve watched him closely, you would’ve noticed that he closes one eye too often. Why? Saraki is an Illuminati agent. It’s a thread!

— Gimba Kakanda (@gimbakakanda) August 8, 2018

Tinubu too is an Illuminati agent, that’s why the war was tough for Saraki. Tinubu was always quick to reveal Saraki’s secret. It’s the reason Fashola and others didn’t look Saraki straight in the eyes when they were being screened as Ministers. They knew about his powers.

— Gimba Kakanda (@gimbakakanda) August 8, 2018

What is wrong with this one sef? Has he ever met Illuminati in his lifetime? Anyways, he las-las said it was all bants.

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2.  Diukwe Ipeghan‏

President Bukola Saraki is acting more presidential then President Buhari. We need a communicative president.
#WorldPressConference

— Diukwe Ipeghan (@IpeghanDiukwe) August 8, 2018

President Buhari is a non communicative president, that's why questions like "Who's the presidency" and answers like "Order from above" wouldn't stop.

— Diukwe Ipeghan (@IpeghanDiukwe) August 8, 2018

You can say that again. But not in front of Buharideens sha?

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3.  Young CEO-BB

This is Nigeria…
Any party that will offer us money… Even if na 1k…we die there…
Las Las we no go vote that day #akwaibom pic.twitter.com/N7neyZ17mF

— young CEO-BB (@BlesyskilzObi) August 8, 2018

Abi….? This crowd is on a weekday o!

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4.  Benue First

First it was #Benue,
Then #AkwaIbom. @officialEFCC is fast becoming a tool in the hands of @MBuhari to muzzle and delete the opposition.
What is the business of the EFCC in freezing state accounts?

Nigeria will win.. https://t.co/eGYtxeLv03

— Benue First (@BenueFirst) August 8, 2018

My brother! Nigeria will win, hopefully, in extra time.

5.  Olukemi Samuel Mabayoje‏

My Laugh when APC said PDP destroyed Akwa Ibom for 16yrs when Victor Attah & Godwill Akpabio who re now in APC did 8yrs each ??? pic.twitter.com/1fNuYCrSPt

— Olukemi Samuel Mabayoje (@scoopycombs) August 8, 2018

No need to laugh. Oshiomhole already said he is an ‘Uncommon Defector.’

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6. Godswill Obot Akpabio‏

I am overwhelmed by the show of love and solidarity by the people of Ikot – Ekpene Senatorial District and Akwa Ibom state as a whole. Thank you my people for standing by me. pic.twitter.com/xgT6J7ihjG

— Godswill Obot Akpabio (@SenatorAkpabio) August 8, 2018

Wehdone Sir! More power to your political elbows.