Every day on the Nigerian internet, there are people who keep our eyes glued to our phone screens as we read their rants, opinions, perspectives on political and social matters, etc. Sometimes, they are just downright ridiculous. We make it our job to take down the names of these noisemakers.

Here’s our list from today:

1. Gbolahan Olatunde

Abi oo. Those places far no be small.

Tbh if I’m an uber, and I see Iyanapaja, egbeda, Ayobo. I’m Removing my phone battery.

— BollyLomo (@ItsBollyLomo) February 6, 2018

2. Wole Odeleye

We do not know if he meant Las Vegas but, yes, that sometimes is the best way to clear traffic, especially in Lagos.

So I'm in lekki traffic and I see a danfo hit this sienna car. The danfo driver starts screaming profanities at the sienna driver. Agbero style.

The sienna driver calmly comes out of his car with an AK47. Silence.

The traffic suddenly clears.

— The Pe@cock (@WoleOdeleye) February 6, 2018

Some replies:

???? that’s all that’s needed tbvh. I’m tired of speaking grammar when someone is moving mad, pull out my machine and everyone disappears, that guy is my hero

— Dami Dazzle ✨?⚡️ (@dami_arian) February 6, 2018

He has a right to Own a Pump Action ShotGun with a Permit,Owning a Ak47 Rifle in Nigeria is what could be illegal except you have people in High Places

— Wolverine ? (@hajeygunma) February 6, 2018

He needs to get that road rage in check. I know danfo drivers are the worst but that could have gone horribly wrong. There is movie and there is real life esp for y’all looking to get firearms on top road aggravation. Get it together.

— ugocheesylvia (@sultrykat) February 6, 2018

3. Bukola Saraki

The Senate President sarcastically expressed sympathy for the Chairman, Code of Conduct Tribunal (CCT), Danladi Umar over his alleged travail in the hand of the Economic and Financial Crimes Commission (EFCC).

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

4. Oluwafifunmi

Women, do not glorify men cheating, men, do better. Stop the evil excuse of “it’s in our blood”, says Oluwafifunmi.

https://twitter.com/FifunmiRex/status/960885616002109440?ref_src=twcamp%5Ecopy%7Ctwsrc%5Eandroid%7Ctwgr%5Ecopy%7Ctwcon%5E7090%7Ctwterm%5E0

Some replies:

5. Tunde

What can we say to this one now?

I don't even know why I was rushing to grow up but anyways, I just finished my free trial of adulthood & I'm no longer interested so I'd like to cancel my subscription. Is there a manager I can speak to?? pic.twitter.com/3lA1HnxwSu

— Elvis Tunde ⚓ (@Tunnyking) February 6, 2018

6. Joel Osteen

God’s calling on your life is irrevocable. That means God didn’t change His mind because you got off course.

— Joel Osteen (@JoelOsteen) February 6, 2018

So many do not understand that and we always sing, “unchangeable God, unchangeable God…”

7. Aisha Yesufu

After sycophancy the second biggest problem that has bedevilled citizens is hypocrisy. Wait a minute I think they go hand in hand. I see some hypocritical citizens talking about @PoliceNG being partisan and an arm of political party. Thank God your eyes are now open. pic.twitter.com/0tlFEV2eJr

— Aisha Yesufu (@AishaYesufu) February 6, 2018

See replies: