Every day on the Nigerian internet, there are people who keep our eyes glued to our phone screens as we read their rants, opinions, perspectives on political and social matters, etc. Sometimes, they are just downright ridiculous. We make it our job to take down the names of these noisemakers.

Here’s our list from today:

1. Davido

Setting up record labels for all my artist ! I’d rather make bosses than be one! ❤️

— Davido (@iam_Davido) February 26, 2018

What do you all think?

2. Simi

You can never be 100 percent ready to start a new thing…

Sometimes when I need to take a big, important step, I second guess myself. Sometimes I feel like I’m ready, sometimes I don’t. But it hit me that to do something big and new, you’ll probably never be fully ready, cos it’s new territory. Do it anyway. Get ready on the way there.

— Simi (@SympLySimi) February 26, 2018

We need more of this!

3. Santos Akhilele

So apart from being able to ‘fly to places without stress’ Santos tells us why we should learn to behave when visiting a place like Benin.

Things that can lead to getting shot in Benin

– "you nearly match me"
– Rough tackle when playing ball
– "Your babe no gree for me"
– "Your babe eye me"
– "Why you go say Rooney no good?"
– Fashion color choices
– "Bros, show", and not showing
– "Bros, show", and showing

— Santos Akhilele ?? (@SantosTHEBOSS) February 26, 2018

Na wa o! Your babe no gree for me?

Which one be that one na? Na your babe?

Meanwhile…

Growing up in Warri & attending University of Benin has made me numb to sounds of gunshot. When they shoot, I just dismiss the shot like it was nothing?.

— Et Tu (@FejiroEsq) February 26, 2018

4. Ms Callipygian

I came for CDS, one of the officials asked some of us to come and sweep, mop and clean her office…I said the only way I’m doing that is if I’ll follow her home after and resume as her housegirl ?
Now I’m standing in front of her office waiting for judgement ?

— Ms. Callipygian ? (@petite_royale) February 26, 2018

All these government workers ehn.

5. King

We have dreamers everywhere.

I want a loyal ass girlfriend that when her phone rings, she'll be like…

"Hello it's Lex's girlfriend, how can I help you". pic.twitter.com/mDcA1cFoGG

— Lex™ (@kinglherx) February 26, 2018

Unless girls come en masse and say: ‘Yes, such girls are all over the place. We are here”, then we can say, “dream come true”.