Every day on the Nigerian internet, there are people who keep our eyes glued to our phone screens as we read their rants, opinions, perspectives on political and social matters, etc. Sometimes, they are just downright ridiculous. We make it our job to take down the names of these noisemakers.
Here’s our list from today:
1 Henry
To the glory of God and the everlasting shame of the enemies, ASUU has finally called off its indefinite strike. To clarify, they called it a “conditional suspension”, which means they can return to, how shall we say it, strike mode if the enemies try them too much.
You’d think Naija undergrads would be over the moon at this announcement. For wia. Here’s what they got up to on Twitter:
18th Sept: ASUU calls off strike
School: Dear Students, we are to inform you that exams commence tomorrow…
Students: pic.twitter.com/fL1h13uPoU
— KOBZ (@AgbaKobz) September 19, 2017
https://twitter.com/nnatu_sleek/status/910093653221281795
https://twitter.com/Onos147/status/909922706979786752
https://twitter.com/FridayTrendsNG/status/910024934126227456
https://twitter.com/Onos147/status/909921557295837184
That’s not all.
2. Jaja Jasper
President Buhari jetted out of the country to fulfil his international duty at the 72nd UN General Assembly. His speech was as global as could be, with a nod to religion (hello, Rohingya) topped with healthy garnishings of hypocrisy. That Myanmar-Rohingya Muslims bit had Jasper asking:
https://twitter.com/JajaPhD/status/910169957727686658
https://twitter.com/JajaPhD/status/910187259047145472
Reactions:
Same way he supported the creation of Palestine opposing Biafra referendum. Buhari is hypocrisy personified. #UNGA https://t.co/7GwaEIyj62
— Uchenna #LekkiMassacre (@Demoore90210) September 19, 2017
Our President is a hypocrite of the highest order.Am not surprise though.
— KINGDOM OF GOD FIRST!! MTT 6:33. (@onyeka60) September 19, 2017
Python Dance was targeted at those who cause troubles and terrorize the east.
— Governor (@_Enemali) September 19, 2017
Actually, they weren't terrorizing the east. I'm actually hearing this from you
— (ODB) 20-10-2020 (@enddidinn) September 19, 2017
One group is a bunch of troublemakers, the other is not. https://t.co/YJHN5mFSux
— Chibuike Ezeokoli (@C__Ezeokoli) September 19, 2017
https://twitter.com/JajaPhD/status/910200900949565441
How do both events correlate abeg?
All this nitpicking https://t.co/odmOS6P7Yw
— Osi (@Osi_Suave) September 19, 2017
https://twitter.com/JajaPhD/status/910176051569012736
https://twitter.com/Gidimeister/status/910198277253025792
Trust TwitterNG to be honest with their commentaries.
3. Sam Hart
Still on Buhari’s UN speech, Sam Hart gives Buhari a pass on this aspect.
I like President Buhari's suggestion on North Korea. Everyone is condemning them but he's the 1st to proffer a workable solution. 👍👍
— Sam Hart, mni (@hartng) September 19, 2017
https://twitter.com/bbellgam/status/910176898487128064
Buhari’s speech lacked connectivity with Nigeria’s reality. Such a hypocritical load of crap#UNGA
— Alhaji Ògògó 🐺 (@akintonmide) September 19, 2017
Onye Nkuzi thinks push has come to shove. A higher power’s intervention is needed.
Good morning all.
Before you quarrel pray for Nigeria, or if you don't believe in Nigeria, pray for people living in this geographical area
— Onye Nkuzi (@cchukudebelu) September 19, 2017
Or maybe we should simply:
@Oghenekevwe_ @Mazi_Osusu @BomzyFibbs make una summon the war council pic.twitter.com/46onaDWRso
— ebeks (@mr_ebeks) September 19, 2017
4. Pius Adesanmi
The good professor is obviously tired of the Army’s antics.
Nigerian Army will soon intervene in domestic disputes btw couples to popular acclamation. We need a massive drive 4 civic enlightenment.
— Pius Adesanmi (@pius_adesanmi) September 19, 2017
5. Larry Beyince
Speaking of disputes, did you miss the Kevin Hart cheating saga? You’re forgiven only if you flew to the moon. It all started here, with a video alleging that Kevin had cheated, but the comedian denied it so fast, our heads spun. However, he couldn’t outrun the truth and so poetic justice saw to it that it ended with Hart apologising for his actions— and Twitter having him for barbecue a second time.
https://www.instagram.com/p/BZLFcRyhRzS/?taken-by=ynaija
Larry thinks Hart should have handled it differently.
I'd call my wife laughing if my mistress demanded 10M. "Baby listen to this shit. I cheated on u right but thats not the funny part hold on"
— 👻🎃America Is Musty🎃👻 (@DragonflyJonez) September 19, 2017
Reactions:
https://twitter.com/V_Fettke/status/910202804614029312
https://twitter.com/slimking44/status/910180572273799170
Might take 3 or 4 calls to get past that second sentence to the joke. "Well fine fuck it now I don't want to tell you. Jokes ruined"
— Main Man (@MainMan425) September 19, 2017
— yerhugeva gina (@queerfemmegirl) September 19, 2017
Ol girl: I demand TEN MIIIIIIILION DOLLARS!!!
Kevin & friends: pic.twitter.com/nQb8YbcJRn— Al'Darius Dente (@dBdaSportsGuru) September 19, 2017
My wife would get over me giving a woman some 🍆
But give another woman some 💵
Shiiid…I'm done for— Drazen CatchAVic (@gapsuited) September 19, 2017
https://twitter.com/MoBella_/status/910197211639816193
https://twitter.com/joshgarvey/status/910144995432296448
https://twitter.com/Slyxra/status/910154782928711681
6. Goziem
This is shade at Kevin for being short and having the gall to cheat. We. Know. This. This is also the very definition of a backhanded compliment… and the trip wires have gone off.
*Calling: PMB, come and see o*
https://twitter.com/magnificentriff/status/910070668460531713
Nat'l red line crossed! Do U want @AsoRock to RATify u as a terrorist & thrown in2 d oda room where pythons dance 247? 😂😂
— Abiodun Agunlade (@talkutalku) September 19, 2017
Luckily, this dude held brief for Hart splendidly.
KEVIN HART! pic.twitter.com/HSIbRt5XXY
— Darren Fleet (@FleetDarren) September 18, 2017
#HisDollarsAreTall!
But this, though…
https://twitter.com/follow_bdavis/status/909986544177606656
No words.
[Don’t miss this]: “9 important lessons Kevin Hart’s cheating teaches”
7. Festus Keyamo
Moving on, the popular Human rights activist is now a learned Silk and he’s making some noise.
Hello folks, now this is how it really looks. #SAN pic.twitter.com/egwtQOqh12
— Festus Keyamo, SAN, CON, FCIArb (UK) (@fkeyamo) September 19, 2017
Reactions:
Congratulations to you Champion of Human Rights, Voice of the Voiceless and Defender of the Downtrodden. Gani would be proud!
— Sokks (@thesokks) September 19, 2017
Wow! This is surely reward for hard work Learned Silk. Congratulations Comrade. Always remember that, the reward for hard work is more work
— Gabriel Audu-Adegbe (@audugabriel73) September 19, 2017
Why are we still wearing colonial attire in our courts years after independence. Just asking for a friend.
— Ohenkay (@ohenkay) September 19, 2017
8. Japheth Omojuwa
End that Ghana-Naija jollof war nonsense now. This Ghanaian dude has nothing but love for Nigerians, he’s successfully pulled our heartstrings.
WATCH:
What this Ghanaian gentleman has to say about Nigerians will shock you! But he is spot on! pic.twitter.com/19R7QmoLnJ
— JJ. Omojuwa (@Omojuwa) September 19, 2017
9. Linda Ikeji
Another woman whose heart is aflutter is media mogul, Linda Ikeji. You cannot be a Nigerian and not know Linda Ikeji. You cannot live on the Nigerian internet and not come across Linda Ikeji. Today is her birthday and she celebrates it with this video and a story
WATCH:
https://www.instagram.com/p/BZOSiLWBJzo/?taken-by=ynaija
https://www.instagram.com/p/BZORimDD0f_/?taken-by=officiallindaikeji
10 Herbert Wigwe
Flowing from Linda’s hustle story, also listen to the Acess Bank CEO’s wise gems. He gives you the how:
Ideas are not the issue, execution is. Execution is not the issue, strategy is. Strategy is not the issue, execution is. Take the first step
— Herbert Wigwe, C.F.R (@HerbertOWigwe) September 19, 2017
Ladies and gentlemen, execute.
