Every day on the Nigerian Internet, there are people who keep our eyes glued to our phone screens as we read their rants, opinions, perspectives on political and social issues, etc. Sometimes, they are just downright ridiculous. We make it our job to take down the names of these noisemakers.

Here are the ones we saw today:

Gtbank app keeps disturbing me to buy JAMB form because clearly my account balance reflects that of a secondary school student. God safe us

— Elegant Of Them All (@bellabiceps) February 6, 2019

I have a Rich 12 yrs old Female patient who cannot take her I.V drugs except her Fine Doctor (Dr Val☺️)attends to her, And she promised to buy me a PS4 on My Birthday (feb14).
What all this Agbaya aunties cannot do, God is using a 12 yrs old?

— Zaddy (@ehival) February 6, 2019

Bants or no bants, this is disgusting.

I’m always hungry !

— Kaylah (@KaylahOniwo) February 6, 2019

So??

The amount of ethical fuckery that Naija Dr’s do on this website. Is it that you guys didn’t take Medical ethics at school? What the fuck?

— The Nerdy Panda (@Rimzzzeee) February 6, 2019

The president that will give Nigeria 24/7 light would have accomplished probably one of the greatest things in Nigerian history as bare as it is

— ebele. (@ebelee_) February 6, 2019

I just broke down crying on the damn bus because I truly for a second felt i wasn’t doing enough.

But this is not all on me. Ending rape culture is all on your shoulders too and i want everyone to explore deep down- what are you really doing to end this? Are you implicit?

— ? (@KingNelo2) February 6, 2019

BYOB

Bring your own bodybag

— The Writer Formerly Known As Elnathan (@elnathan_john) February 6, 2019

OK, whatever.