Every day on the Nigerian Internet, there are people who keep our eyes glued to our phone screens as we read their rants, opinions, perspectives on political and social issues, etc. Sometimes, they are just downright ridiculous. We make it our job to take down the names of these noisemakers

Here are the ones we saw today:

 

Soursop isn’t any fruit’s mate if we’re being serious. It’s leagues ahead of the rest. It’s not even a competition.

— Toyo (@__Omotoyosi__) February 8, 2019

OK, soursop activist.

Is it true that Eko Bridge is now clear of all those trucks? That a miracle has suddenly cleared them off of the road? That they will no longer terrorise lagosians? No!!! It’s not true!!!

I wonder how this was possible? ?
Hmmm…must be good governance.
Hmmm…

— Femi Jacobs (@FemiJACOBS) February 8, 2019

It’s an agenda, bro.

Before you jump on hashtags tweeting about rape

CHECK YOUR NIGGAZ

— ZAHEER! (@iam_YCEE) February 8, 2019

Louder for those men at the back with Airpods.

I be acting classist sometimes. But I be working on it.

— Ozzy Etomi (@ozzyetomi) February 8, 2019

Keep at it, sis.

For a meagre price, I can show up to your work place on Valentine’s Day, looking dapper af, with the gifts you bought for yourself.

For a little bonus, I will throw in a lingering kiss.

DM me now to make your neighbors and coworkers jealous.

PS. Offer available in Enugu only

— Pacifier (@lus_junior) February 8, 2019