Ifreke Inyang [@Ifreke]
[17th October – 22nd October, 2011]
MONDAY: “Monday morning. Probably the worst day of the week. But u gotta get dat money, right?” @ekpefre tweeted as the new week began. @_Ebuka didn’t need the money. He was looking for something else. “Lord I want to be relevant,” he said in his tweet. “Let one of my tweets be retweeted 100+ times today! Please lawd.” @BukkieSho was however not pleased with some of the tweets she saw on her timeline. She tweeted in disgust: “Sex talk on a Monday morning! Do you know how many containers have docked this morning at Apapa? Get busy y’all!”
TUESDAY: @abhey was concerned about the strange cars that parked on his street these days. “Na where all these cars dey come park for our street sef?” he asked rhetorically. “Hope say one of them no go blow up one day sha!” @PengBoiz was determined to ‘blow’, especially from all he’s been seeing and listening to. “If Uti wants more by singing shit after his N30million then who am I to want less?” he tweeted. @funtolabee’s hustle was slowed down by a fault in her car. “Today of all days is when this stupid car chose to have issues! And I really don’t want to take a cab!” she fumed.
WEDNESDAY: @4eyedmonk thought Islamic banking was a better option in his opinion. “Is there anyone out there still fighting the Islamic Banking system? Even I am considering patronizing it…0% is way better than 26%,” he said in his tweet. @TheYomiKazeem didn’t like the internet connection he was using. He tweeted: “Nothing sucks more than crappy internet. Maybe bad Italian food, but it’s a close call.” However, @LionessAllison was loving her connection today. “Kai! MTN network fast today o. Make una just dey do like this na!” she tweeted happily.
THURSDAY: The deed was done today in Libya. The rebels caught Gaddafi and ended up killing the dictator who has been on the run. @seunfakze wasn’t too delighted with the news. “The world celebrates the demise of Ghaddafi, acclaimed tyrant. They shld remember he was better than most of Africa’s Acclaimed Leaders (looters).” he stated in his tweet. @trafels was more specific in his analysis. He tweeted: “It’s Libya’s turn today. One day the world will be focused on Nigeria too…I just hope it’s for the right reason.” The news making the rounds in Nigeria was that comic actor, Baba Suwe was going to sue the NDLEA up to the tune of 1 billion naira. “Shit Business is Big Business,“@bubusn declared. “Otunba Gaddafi’s motto will ring true for #BabaSuwe and his lawyers right about now.”
FRIDAY: The news today was that MTN will add four more days to BIS of all their subscribers to make up for the four days RIM’s servers went down. @Gbollyseun didn’t believe the story. “They just wasted their time sendin me dt sms …..Nuffin didn’t change. Ma Bis still expires same day …………lmao!” he laughed out in his tweet. @Luciano_Blahk wasn’t aware of the elections that would take place the next day. He sounded confused in his tweet. “Elections 2mrw? Is this a secret elections for touts & older folks cos seems we peeps on twitter are oblivious to it..”
SATURDAY: The elections did hold and most folks stayed at home. @aMANUTDfan went out to play soccer and didn’t get a good meal when he returned. “I don’t know y my mom thinks I’m one laborer..I finished playing ball, I came home n she gave me eba instead of water, wich kind life?” That wasn’t the case for @ColinUdoh. He told us about the good meal he just had. “Nothing better than munching REAL chicken rather than the tasteless, frozen junk served up at restaurants and fast food outlets. Yummmmmmyyy!” he tweeted.
Gbagaun of the week: Have your pick!
@Mizzybukkii not you alone I just gotten my uber too back
@samy_4real: RETWEET IF YOU ARE FEELING SLEEP
@lifeofnigel: Dont Judge How I Walk If You Haven’t Wore my Shoes
@MercyAbang: But seriously, who are my without you?
@MzTolarnie: Pls is Ghadaffi dies??
@Weng_Pam: Why didn’t this boy came today now??
@speedracerborok: One bitten, two shy!
@Kross_Man: I lacks words of comparison for abj sun.
@cutztee: Does election necessarily mean that everywhere would dry…gosh!!!
Recommended: Follow @YNaija, @omojuwa and @eaboyeji this week
Rant of the week: @aninoritse: Why will you constantly tell me about people who are toasting you or want to shag you?? I find it quite irritating..pls..keep your stories
Tweet of the week: @CuteNaija: After Baba Suwe gets the 1 Billion Naira, watch out for his next movies “IGBE DI OWO” and ”MOYAGBETI”
Retweet of the week: @abyhonour said in her tweet: “Looking for someone to give HEAD right now”. @huntellagadgets retweeted and said “Go to #HEADIES this night then.”
Seriously tweeting: @feline_eyes: Why should someone draw a tattoo of Beats by Dre round his neck? Is it some kind of consolation for not owning it?
Quote my tweet: @NateOblivion: On my TL the following are unacceptable: answering Oracle, RTing your RTs, general stupid talk, yellow bar seeking.
SUBstance: @OluwaWanaBaba: Even Lil Wayne will not release an album titled “Everybody Loves Lil Wayne”…
Did you miss this tweet? @FLAVOURNABANIA: My twitter password is one of the song title of my Uplifted album.
Foot Note: Many thanks to @PengBoiz for providing some of the tweets used in this roundup. You can also become a YNaija twicorrespondent too. It’s quite easy. Get funny, witty and interesting tweets from your timelines and send it to me.