Vera Ezimora: Be careful who you do play-play husband & wife with

by Vera Ezimora

Last week, BankyW broke the Nigerian internet when he announced his engagement to Adesua. Then over the weekend, the introduction happened. Nigerians are so excited about Banky’s engagement, and it’s as if it is a Nigerian wedding, not just Banky’s and Adesua’s wedding – which tells a lot. I personally think that the reason why there is so much buzz and excitement around this wedding is because it’s Banky. Banky is one of those people you just like and respect. He does not nyama-nyama himself publicly; you know what I mean. And his fiancee, although I don’t know much about her, is quite likeable.

On my end, I’m a big fan of his, and not even because of his music. Sure, he’s good at what he does, but I really like Banky, the man. I don’t think our relationship is on the level of being called a friendship, but if there’s a name for what you would call someone you occasionally chat with on WhatsApp, then that’s what we are. I respect him as a person and as a man.

 If you followed their love story – if not, check out his Instagram – then you’d have read that at some point, he slid into her DMs and it took 1.5 years before she finally said yes to him, and coincidentally, they were both in that Nigerian movie, The Wedding Party, where they played husband and wife. So now that they are getting married, it is the case of life imitating art.

Their story reminded me very much of mine with Igwe. We mentioned it a little in our Husband/Wife tag video.


The reason why Igwe and I even knew each other was because we were both in a church play where he played the role of an admirer who I ended up not marrying. In our second play, however, he was a Yoruba guy called Demola, and I was his Igbo wife called Nneka. It was after our first play that I knew he liked me. He did not slide into my DM, but he did get my attention when he referred to me as his Chizzy Baby (my name was Chizoba in the first play) and asked me if I had a boyfriend. I told him that my God would never do that to me (because I was sure he was a Yoruba demon), and seven years later, the joke is on me.

Now, thanks to Banky, Nigerian men are going around sliding into DMs and Nigerian women are letting them. Bia, Banky, you need to explain – more like coach – men on how to properly slide into DMs. Sending a woman a DM that says something like, “Baby, you must be a yam because my heart is pounding for you,” is probably not the best way to start. Unless of course, you are both about that life. Then who am I to judge?

I am so happy that Banky has found love! Igwe and I have had many conversations about how difficult it must be to find love when you are rich and/or famous, especially when you are a real person who wants a real connection – not like the surface love that some of our celebrities have, which is why they’re always so quick to fight it out on Instagram. I’m looking at you Tiwa Savage. And Tonto Dikeh. And Mercy Aigbe Gentry. And the rest of you who have impending Instagram fights lurking around your marriage.

On the topic of not finding love easily when you’re a public figure, I remember when I first started writing publicly and I got all kinds of proposals from men I had never met. Some of them swore that they loved me. I actually started “talking” with one of them, although we never met in person. If I could get that much attention just from being an anonymous virtual writer, imagine what happens when you’re really public. What a wow.

I wish Banky and Adesua the very best. I hope you keep your marriage off social media like you did your courtship. Sometimes people confuse privacy with secrecy.

The moral of the story: be careful who you do play-play husband and wife with because you might end up doing it for real. Also, when the chance presents itself, go ahead and write and act in a church play. Oh, and DM-sliding is highly encouraged.

Op–ed pieces and contributions are the opinions of the writers only and do not represent the opinions of Y!/YNaija

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