by Eric Barker

Showing gratitude for the good things you have is the most powerful happiness-boosting activity there is. 

For something so important to our health and well-being, happiness remains an elusive goal for many people. Here are 10 practical tips to live better and appreciate life to the fullest. Because that’s what it really boils down to: appreciating your very existence.

10. Frequency Beats Intensity

Lots of little good things is the path to happiness. You want frequent boosts, not rare big stuff. (And this explains the best method of how to split a dinner bill with friends.) For the most part, don’t bother to try and reduce the bad so much as you increase the good.

Stop thinking about big events that might make you thrilled — it’s the little things of everyday life that make lasting improvements to our happiness. You’re not going to win the lottery, and it wouldn’t have the impact you think it would.

9. Fundamentals Are Fundamental

Cranky? Before you blame the world, eat something. Take a nap — it can purge negative emotions. Sleep is vital because your mood in the morning affects your mood all day.

Get your sleep. You cannot get away with cheating yourself on sleep, and being tired makes it harder to be happy.

Does this make you out of touch with reality? Maybe. But being a little deluded is good:

8. Illusions

People with positive illusions about their relationship are more satisfied, score higher on love and trust, and have fewer problems.

7. Overconfidence

Overconfidence increases productivity and improves teamwork.

6. Self-deception 

“Self-deception has been associated with stress reduction, a positive self-bias and increased pain tolerance, all of which could enhance motivation and performance during competitive tasks.“
Love means being slightly deluded. Happy people believe their partners are a little more awesome than they really are. Someone you think is great who also thinks you’re great — it’s one of the primary things you should look for in a marriage partner.
Thinking happy thoughts, giving hugs and smiling sound like unscientific hippie silliness, but they all work.

5. Growing and Learning. 

Sitting on the couch watching TV does not make you happy. You are happier when you are busy and probably have more fun at work than at home. Thinking and working can beat sad feelings. A wandering mind is not a happy mind. Mastering skills is stressful in the short term and happiness-boosting in the long term.Positive mental time travel: Happy memories or looking forward to something

Being present: Not letting your mind wander and being absorbed in the moment.

Savoring is one of the secrets of the happiest people. Focusing on the limited time you have in this life is a good way to remind you to savor what is important.

4. Selflessness

Helping others reach their goals brings joy. Doing nice things for others today can literally make you happier for the rest of the week. It will not increase your moment-to-moment mood.
The Amish are as satisfied as billionaires, and slum dwellers can be surprisingly happy. The happiest of all income groups is people making $50-$75K a year. Money is good, but wanting money can be bad. Loving money can make it harder to be happy. There are ways money can bring happiness, but they are not what you expect.

3. Spend As Much Time As Possible With People You Like

Spend as much time as possible with people you like. The happiest people are social with strong relationships. Not spending more time with people we love is something we regret the most.

Being able to spend more time with friends provides an increase in happiness worth up to an additional $133,000 a year. (Values for your other relationships are here.)

Being compassionate makes us happier (causal, not correlative). Share the best events of your day with loved ones and ask them to do the same. It works. And compliment them — we love compliments more than money or sex.

But I’m an introvert, you say? A little bit of extraversion here would do you good. Happiness is more contagious than unhappiness, so with amount of exposure to others, well-being scales.

2. Do What You Are Good At As Often As You Can

“Signature strengths” are the things you are uniquely good at, and using them brings us joy. Exercising signature strengths is why starving artists are happier with their jobs. Think about the best possible version of yourself and move toward that. Signature strengths are the secret to experiencing more “flow” at work and in life.

1. Express Gratitude

I can’t emphasize this one enough. Showing gratitude for the good things you have is the most powerful happiness-boosting activity there is.

It will make you happier.
It will improve your relationships.
It can make you a better person.
It can make life better for everyone around you.

Bronze medalists are happier than silver medalists. Why? They feel grateful to get a medal at all.

Every night before you go to bed, write down three things good that happened to you that day. That’s pretty much all it takes to get a happiness boost over time.

There’s a second lesson here: the reverse is also true. Keeping track of the bad things will make you miserable. A convenient memory is a powerful thing. Do not train your brain to see the negative; teach it to see the positive.

Want to make yourself and someone else extremely happy? Try a gratitude visit. Write someone a letter thanking them and telling them how much what they have done for you means. Visit them and read it in person. It’s a proven happiness WMD.

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Read this article in AskMen

 

Op-ed pieces and contributions are the opinions of the writers only and do not represent the opinions of Y!/YNaija