Adedayo interviews Donald Trump

 

Adedayo: Mr Trump, thank you for being with me on this show.

It looks like your campaign is really coming along. Do you think you’re going to be America’s next president?

Trump: Yeah I know for sure I’m going be to be the next president. I’m going to make America great again. And let me just say this quickly just so you know down there in Nigeria — when I’m president, I’m going to launch out a special US military expedition to find those girls kidnapped in your country. I love children.

A: Well that’s a nice one.

But let’s talk about Nigeria’s recent presidential election for a moment, given you’re running for president next year in your own country.

What do you think about former president Goodluck Jo—

T: (cuts in) He’s a loser.

A: Excuse me?

T: Yeah I said that. He’s a loser.

A: But a lot of people here are saying what he did was heroic, that he’s a democracy hero.

T: No, that’s nonsense. He’s not a democracy hero. You see, he’s a loser. He’s a big loser.

A: Well, clearly you don’t like him. But how about other Nigerian figures?

T: Tell me some names and I’ll tell you what I think. Shoot.

A: Okay, Osinbajo?

T: Idiot.

A: Buhari?

T: Double idiot.

A: Dora Akunyili?

T: Stupid.

A: Awolowo?

T: Too stupid.

A: Fela Kuti?

T: Hippie douche bag.

A: Chinua Achebe?

T: Boring.

A: Ojukwu?

T: He’s a fool.

A: Mary Onyali?

T: Very lazy. She had no talent.

A: Ken Saro Wiwa?

T: Coward.

A: Tafawa Balewa?

T: He’s a slob.

A: Alright, thank you very much Mr Trump. Good luck with your campaign!

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