Confessions of a Nigerian atheist: So I went to church yesterday…

by Ishola Alolanle Fatai

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I used to get angry at them, and then I became overwhelmed with pity for their crippling foolishness.

Actually, I didn’t, but I might as well have, (no) thanks to the church on my street. Well, if “church” is even the right term for the circus I believe it to be. This piece has little to do with my atheism and more about how I see life in general. Okay wait, that’s not quite right, cos I’ve realized that my outlook on life and my lack of belief in one Supreme Being, are not only inextricably tied together but also influence each other a great deal, though I can’t say if the former influences the latter or the case is reverse or it’s some kind of symbiosis. Anyway, back to the matter. What’s with churches and their ridiculous need to employ the use of loudspeakers pointed outward? Specifically, what’s with the church on my street and its ridiculous need to employ the use of loudspeakers, pointing toward the street? (Cos if I had to choose between my peace and the churches on your own streets keeping on with their ridiculous need to employ the use of ridiculously loud speakers, you know where I’d throw my chips)

Let me first explain what exactly the “church” on my street is. There’s even nothing to explain because the church is a canopy. Okay, it started out as a canopy, about 4 years ago. It’s located in the compound right opposite my house, on the other side of the street, and from my balcony I have a clear view of what’s inside the compound – the canopy. Sometime this year the original canopy mysteriously disappeared and they upgraded to something else (maybe the canopy got razed to the ground by an angry neighbour who may or may not be the one typing this piece. Okay that was a joke. Seriously. I would never do that. I promise. I swear, etc etc) Now it’s essentially 4 pillars with a corrugated iron roof – basically a metal canopy. No walls, just the roof, the pillars, and chairs under. The number of people in attendance is never more than 20. Maybe 25, if some people dragged their friends along. But yeah, you get the picture.

Now, all I wanna know is, why do I have to suffer the noise coming from a service to 25 people, taking place under a canopy? I’m not particularly good at shouting and God knows (get it?) I could make myself heard to 25 people under a canopy without any effort, or the use of a microphone. Really, what’s the excuse? Because even if they have to make use of loudspeakers, do they have to be so bloody loud? I do not exaggerate when I say that the noise from this church can be heard from 2 streets away. It is insane, and I don’t understand why. Is the point that they want to “share the word” with people in the neighbourhood? Because if that’s the plan, all they’re succeeding in doing is pissing me off. It calls to mind those painfully deluded souls in university who would go round hostels at 6am “preaching” at the top of their lungs.  I used to get angry at them, and then I became overwhelmed with pity for their crippling foolishness. I felt pity because I realized they were lying to themselves. They weren’t interested in actually sharing the word or “saving souls,” they just wanted to satisfy their own consciences. They just want to feel like they’ve “done something.” If they actually wanted to share the message, if they actually wanted people to learn, they would realize that shouting and/or using loudspeakers to cause a disturbance only annoys people. It doesn’t make them feel like coming to church. It just make them – or me, at least- feel like setting fire to every last person there. Okay, that may be a tad extreme, but I’m angry here.

I’ll quit here, but my point is, if you actually want to share your message, do it in a manner that isn’t so insensitive to others. I can’t speak for anyone else, but if I was going to listen to the preaching of anyone, it wouldn’t be someone who was so inconsiderate to other people, and was willing to sacrifice the peace and comfort of other people, just to satisfy their own consciences.

 

P.S. I’m going to be writing these pieces regularly now; once a week (that’s the plan, at least). So if you’re interested in my ramblings, you can check back for more.

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Op-ed pieces and contributions are the opinions of the writers only and do not represent the opinions of Y!/YNaija.

Comments (2)

  1. I agree. I’m not an atheist but there is a church right by my house very similar to the one you described that completely pisses me off! It is unfair and unnecessary to deprive people of their Sunday siesta just because you want to worship or spread the word. I’m pretty sure there are better ways of doing that.

  2. Great write up I was born Xtain too,I can’t understand why some religious hypocrites fail to  that preaching their gospel have attain new dimension…text messaging,BB BC, and d internet, are more convenient ways of passing Their messages…rather than the very annoying 5am preaching via public address system. I had to confront one them one morning on why he didn’t come later in the day to do one on one preaching, instead of annoying @ d best time of our waking up.

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